About: Shayna
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Step-Christmas
September 16, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. It’s great because it’s celebrating a wonderful occasion and it always brings my family together. It’s such a cold time of year (where I live) but the Christmas season always warms me up.
Little did I know what a step-family might do to this wonderful holiday. It was a beautiful winter and I was still consumed by my 1 month-old baby so I was kind of in my own world. I was busy spending my days cuddling and napping and cheering for Thomas as he started hitting huge milestones! (okay not really milestones but back then the things he was doing seemed amazing). I mean he started to smile sometimes, he even rolled over when he was just one month old, I was having a great time.
That is until it was time to make plans for Christmas Day. All seven of the kids (me included) had two sets of parents and two sets of grandparents that we had to try and divide our time between and try to coordinate with each other at the same time. That meant someone was going to end up feeling bad on Christmas. There was no way we could all coordinate the times when we would eat or open presents or whatever else we were going to do. It was impossible. And believe me, we tried but realized the effort was getting us nowhere.
It was hard too because my mom and my step-dad wanted us to celebrate as a family but it wasn’t really working out that way. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that the kids were so old when our parents got married. It’s not like we grew up together and had time to bond. It was more like we were just stuffed into a house and expected to become family. Not just by our parents but by our own expectations as well. But it didn’t work out that way. When we did do things together and try to get to know one another it usually felt awkward.
There were a few times when things felt a little more comfortable but most of the time it felt unnatural. But that’s the thing, we didn’t have just a natural family. And nomatter how nice we are, or how much we care about each other when we’re a step-family there’s just something there that feels a little different.
So Christmas was good, don’t get me wrong. We all celebrated in one way or another and we got to see a lot of family but it didn’t live up to our “one big happy family” expectations.
The Step-family Awaits
July 15, 2007 | Leave a Comment
I was so excited to be going home…finally. It had been a long couple of days and I was glad it was behind me. I was alive and I had a beautiful new baby boy to take care of. All the way home I watched as my baby stared at the back window. It was raining pretty heavily and he seemed to notice (or at least I thought he did). I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Read more
Did I Die Yet? (#7)
May 28, 2007 | Leave a Comment
During the transfusion my body kept trying to fall asleep but I wouldn’t succumb. If I shut my eyes I had no guarantee that I’d be able to open them again. Read more
I Needed A Blood Transfusion (#6)
May 19, 2007 | 1 Comment
The blood clots had been removed and I thought everything was fine.
Boy was I wrong.
I just kept on losing blood. When the doctor finally came in to tell me I had to get a transfusion I could see the concern on his face; and when your doctor looks concerned you know you should be very afraid.
Of Course I was Bleeding (#5)
May 5, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Later that evening, after getting some much needed sleep, I really needed to pee. I sat up, tried to stand up, but quickly realized it wasn’t going to work, and eased myself back into bed. I buzzed for the nurse and she quickly came in to help. As I sat in that tiny closet-sized bathroom the nurse peeked her head in to check on me. I noticed that her eyes froze and tripled in size when she saw how much blood I had lost. She calmly asked if I had been bleeding that much since the delivery.
Of course I had been bleeding that much. I mean look what had just come out of me! And isn’t it normal to bleed after you have a baby? She said I was losing too much blood and quickly got me back into bed. Another nurse came in and pricked my arm to get a few viles of blood. I couldn’t stay awake any longer; gravity yanked my eyes shut and I fell back asleep.
I woke up and felt like I was in an episode of ER. There was a doctor, a couple nurses, and my boyfriend, and they were all looking down on me. The light was so bright that it hurt to open my eyes. I remember the doctor saying he was giving me a drug that was equivalent to heroin. He shot it into my arm and the next thing I knew it was morning again.
When my boyfriend came back in the morning, I told him about this weird dream I had. I told him about the bright lights, the nurses, and all the talking I heard. Then I told him in my dream I was screaming at the top of my lungs. He looked at me with a frightened look on his face and said, “that really happened.” Then he proceeded to tell me what went on the night before.
I had several blood clots that needed to me removed because my uterus didn’t shrink back down the way it should have after the baby was born. I guess it was a pretty painful procedure and I could tell it wasn’t a funny matter by how horrified my boyfriend was. And that scared me because he could make anything a funny matter. But that wasn’t the end of my horrible experience. Little did I know there was more to come.
Strong Women= No Epidural (#4)
April 19, 2007 | 2 Comments
Strong women have babies the natural way– without an epidural.
As I lay on that cold, hard table with my legs spread uncomfortably apart and cold hands prodding me, my doctor asked that infamous question, “would you like to get an epidural during labor?” I quickly answered that I didn’t want an epidural, I was going to have my baby naturally. My doctor chuckled and said though he’d never personally been through childbirth, he’d heard that it was pretty excruciating. He said I should keep my options open and remain neutral about the epidural until I was actually in labor. Then I chuckled and told him I would think about it. But I secretly knew I wasn’t going to get it.
NO TURNING BACK (#3)
March 31, 2007 | Leave a Comment
At three a.m. when my water broke, I was caught by surprise(who isn’t).
After I realized that I didn’t wet the bed, I woke my boyfriend who found it hysterical that I was ‘overflowing.’ I joined in his laughter but my laughs quickly turned to tears as my swollen belly squeezed tighter and tighter.
MOANS AND GROANS (#2)
March 25, 2007 | Leave a Comment
At 16, highschool socializing became a thing of the past for me. I could no longer do the things my friends were doing so I had to find new people to hang out with; actually they found me.
RUDE AWAKENING (#1)
March 21, 2007 | Leave a Comment
I had fallen asleep on the couch that night while waiting for my friends to pick me up. Apparently they never came because when I opened my eyes, the green glow of the clock told me that it was 3:42 AM.
