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Simple Technique for Approaching Conflict Resolution
September 3, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Conflicts are a normal part of life. We interact with so many different people in so many different situations that we’re bound to run into difficulties.
A conflict is a disagreement where those involved feel that they are somehow being threatened. It could be that they perceive a threat to their way of thinking, their interests, position, possessions - anything that they hold of value. Because of this, even though a conflict is a disagreement, it can be emotionally fueled.
The most effective conflict resolution is one in which you get what you want while helping the other party get what he wants. It sounds contradictory, but it’s really not.
When you negotiate to secure your wants and take into account the wants of your counterpart, he will be more likely to work with you and help you achieve your goals. At the same time, he’s less likely to feel defensive, aggressive or confrontational.
Effective conflict resolution requires good negotiating skills. Good negotiating skills require practice and thought. While there are many factors to consider when entering into a negotiation, let’s start by looking at four overarching elements of effective negotiation to resolve conflict:
1. Know what you want and/or need.
This may seem obvious, but sometimes we enter into a negotiation knowing sort of what we want, but not specifically.
The point of negotiating is to secure what it is that you want, or get as close to it as possible. When you know what that is, write it down and be clear. State why you want it. This is your starting point.
It’s also good to recognize what isn’t as important to you. There may be something that you’d be willing to give up as part of the negotiation. Create a priority scale that outlines the most important to least important needs so you know your “want parameters.”
2. Know what the other person wants and/or needs.
Like you, the person you’re negotiating with has their own wants. Discuss what they’re looking to accomplish from the negotiation and listen carefully.
3. Discuss and clarify.
Discuss which points you agree on and to what extent. Determine which goals, relative to the negotiation, that you both have in common.
Define and talk about all issues or concerns. It can be a daunting task to try to deal with all issues at once, so list all issues, prioritize them, and approach them one by one.
Through discussion, you’ll both have a better understanding of one another. This will help you create a mutually acceptable agreement.
4. Work together towards an agreement.
It’s important to work as a team to create an agreement because all parties need to have ownership of it and the responsibility for it. This kind of collaboration results in an agreement that responds to both parties’ wants and needs.
Take some time to consider what you can do for your counterpart to help him secure what he’s negotiating for. This doesn’t mean acquiescing what you want. Chances are, however, that if you’re willing to help your counterpart get what he wants, he’ll be more likely to help you get what you want.
Above all, make sure that the agreement is:
fair
realistic
doable
clear
understandable.
In addition, the agreement should:
outline roles and responsibilities with enough detail that everyone understands their part and can take action
have a timeline, if relevant.
While there are many other factors to establish an environment for effective negotiation, these four steps provide a solid foundation for good negotiation and conflict resolution.
Laurie Wilhelm is the author of Express Yourself to Success. This website and eGuides are designed to help you achieve success faster by using strong verbal communications skills. Achieve your success by working with others through improved social and interpersonal skills, public speaking, networking, negotiation, and conflict resolution. Find out how you can boost your career by going to www.expressyourselftosuccess.com.
Dealing With The Unknown In Being In A Relationship
September 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment
It can be tough for people in a relationship to deal with the fear of the unknown. Being in a relationship can lead to many possibilities. As a result, here is a list of techniques and suggestions on how to manage this fear of dealing with the unknown while in a relationship.
The first step is to learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. When the time comes, hopefully you will have learned the skills to deal with your situation.
Another thing to remember is that no one can predict the future with 100 Percent certainty. Even if the thing that you feared does happen there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage. For instance, let’s say at your place of work that you miss the deadline for a project you have been working on for the last few months. Everything you feared is coming true. Suddenly, your boss comes to your office and tells you that the deadline is extended and that he forgot to tell you the day before. This unknown factor changes everything. Remember: we may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.
Sometimes what we fear may happen can be over exaggerated. A lot of times, our worrying can make the problem even worse. For those of you who believe in God, prayer can be very effective. In the end, we have to leave it in the hands of God. If God wants something to happen to us, it will happen regardless. All the worrying in the world will not change anything. All you can do is to do your best each day, hope for the best, and when something does happen, take it in stride by using the help of God. God will help us through our problems if we ask him.
As a Layman, I realize it is not easy to deal with the fear of the unknown, however sometimes the fear can be worse than the situation. If you have trouble managing your anxiety of the future, then talking to a counselor or clergyman can be of great help. There are ways to help manage your fear and all it takes is some effort to find those answers.
Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear” an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com
Mending Minor Rips and Tears
August 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Mending can be fun if you treat it as an art and work for careful, durable, flat finishes. Study the weave of the fabric and try to duplicate it. Try to get as invisible a finish as possible except where you are making a decorative mend.
In order to mend, you must have a basic knowledge of the hand stitches, although you will find that the running stitch is the one you will use most often. Stitches are usually short and fine. Rows of stitching are uneven to prevent definite lines from showing and to insure an invisible finish. Work from the right side most often to blend in your work.
Your work box contains much of the same equipment as for regular sewing, plus a darning egg, a hoop for machine darning, mending liquid, mending tape, rubber tissue, darning threads and needles, a crochet hook, buttons, snaps, hooks and eyes, tapes, and scraps.
Inspect your clothes regularly. These are likely spots to check:
1. Seams. Narrow seams may have to be stitched a little deeper to make them hold. If the edges fray, stitch a line near the edges and overcast them. Two rows of stitching prevent fraying and stretching.
2. Stitching. Rip out and resew broken or drawn stitching.
3. Hems. Re-hem when necessary if threads catch or seem unusually loose. Check and re-stitch hems on household linens also.
4. Dangling threads. Catch and fasten off such threads before further damage occurs.
5. Bindings and facings. See if they are sewed on securely and re-stitch if necessary.
6. Pocket corners and placket edges. Reinforce with tape or stitching if they seem weakened by wear.
7. Fastenings. Check and re-sew buttons, snaps and hooks and eyes. Rework raveled buttonholes.
Patches are used where a hole has been made. Cut a patch on the straight of the goods and match it to the lengthwise and crosswise yarns in the garment. Match design and pattern in the fabric very carefully or the patch will stand out like a sore thumb. When inserting a patch into a washable garment, wash new material until color is the same as the color of the garment. The washing will also shrink the patch.
Hemmed patch: This is a strong mend used primarily for washable garments. Trim the tear to a rectangle. Clip diagonally at corners from 1/4 to 1/2 inch, and turn edges under slightly beyond the ends of the clips. Crease sharply or press. Cut the patch about one inch larger than the hole, making sure to match the design.
Baste the patch in place and slip stitch in place from the right side, catching the stitches in the very edge of the crease. Turn to the wrong side and turn the edges of the patch under 1/4 inch, snipping a little off at the corners to prevent excess bulk. Slip stitch to place seeing that stitches do not show on the right side.
Catch-stitched hemmed patch: This is a variation of the hemmed patch and is used for heavy, less firmly woven materials, such as some drapery and slip-cover fabrics, bedspreads, and thin blankets. Cut the patch and machine stitch twice around the outside. Baste the patch in place and slip stitch on the right side. On the wrong side, catch stitch the raw edge of the patch to the article being repaired.
Lapped or under laid patch: This patch is used when sturdiness is more important than appearance. Make hole rectangular or round, round for greatest amount of stretch as in knit goods and elastic garments. Cut away ragged edges and baste matched patch to position. Darn by hand, working the stitches in over the edges even beyond the joining, or stitch by machine where a stiffer and stronger mend is desirable.
Thermoplastic or pressed on patches: Straighten edges of hole, put in patch cut from hem, and from wrong side, press on mending tape over patch. Use another piece of mending tape in place from which patch was taken, as the hem. Follow exact directions given with the tape.
Now you can keep your clothes neat and mended all the time!
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How To Balance A Family, Your Job, And Your Stresses
August 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment
In can be difficult for adults to have to take care of their families and manage their careers. This can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. As a result, here are a few steps in how to take care of your family and your career without getting stressed.
Try to set goals for yourself when you manage your family or career. When you go to work each day, try to set some goals for you to accomplish. For instance, your goal for today is to finish the report that your boss wants. At the end of the day, you will feel better about yourself knowing that you were able to finish that report. When you accomplish these smaller goals, you will feel happier, more confident, and less stressed.
Delegate part of your responsibilities. When taking care of the family, get your spouse to help out. If your kids are older, get them to assist you. If you are at work, only take on what you can handle. Do not try to do everything all at once. Learn to delegate and work with other people.
If you try to do everything, you will get stressed and anxious. A person can only do so much in a given day. Do not be a hero. Learn to manage your responsibilities. If you feel like your doing too much, then take a break and evaluate your situation.
Try to do things in terms of their importance. You have to clean the living room, go to the supermarket, and wash the dishes. Go to the supermarket since this is the most important thing that needs done. Do the other two tasks later on. Determine what needs done right now and do those particular tasks in order of importance.
Take advantage of the help that is available around you. If possible, talk to a professional who can help you manage your fears and anxieties. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. By talking to a professional, a person will be helping themselves in the long run because they will become better able to deal with their problems in the future. Managing your fears and anxieties takes practice. The more you practice, the better you will become.
Managing your family and career does not have to very stressful. Learn to budget your time and manage your tasks. Eventually, you will be able to balance your career and family. If you still have trouble, then talk to a professional who can give you additional advice.
Stan Popovich is the author of, A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear, an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com
Getting Help For Your Anxieties While Maintaining A Family
August 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Are you having trouble getting rid of your anxiety and stress related problems while taking care of the kids? It is not easy to manage your anxieties, however here are some techniques a person can use to help conquer their stresses and other anxiety related symptoms.
The first step is that you should talk to a professional who can get you started in the right path of getting better. Getting help from a counselor or other professional is very important and can provide you much help and insights in dealing with your current problem.
A good way to manage your anxiety is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your fearful or anxious, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense.
When overwhelmed with worry, a person may encounter a lot of scary thoughts coming at them all at once. Instead of getting upset, remember that these thoughts are exaggerated and are not based on reality. From my interviews with various professionals, I’ve learned that usually it is the fear behind the thoughts that gets us worked up. Ignore the fear behind these thoughts, and your worry should decrease.
Sometimes, we get stressed when everything happens all at once. Instead of taking it out on someone else a person should take a deep breath and try to find something to do for a few minutes to get your mind off of the problem. A person could take a walk, listen to some music, read the newspaper or do an activity that will give them a fresh perspective on things. This mental timeout can help you refocus on your current situation.
Another thing to remember is that things change and events do not stay the same. For instance, you may feel overwhelmed today with your anxiety and feel that this is how you will feel the rest of the week or month. This isn’t correct. No one can predict the future with 100 Percent accuracy. Even if the thing that you feared does happen there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage.
As a Layman I realize that experiencing a lot of anxiety can be difficult. The next time it happens remember to apply some of these techniques you recently learned. The key is to be patient and not to give up. In time, you will be able to cope with your anxieties.
Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear” an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com
When Your Worries Overwhelm You While Being In A Relationship
August 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment
What do you do when your worries and anxieties overwhelm you while your in a relationship? Here is a brief list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their worries and anxieties while they are in a serious relationship.
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Getting Help For Your Bipolar While Taking Care of Your Family
August 12, 2008 | Leave a Comment
It is not easy to deal with your fears, bipolar, or anxiety problems while being a parent. The first step is that you should talk to a professional who can get you started in the right path of getting better. Getting help from a counselor or other professional is very important and can provide you much help and insights in dealing with your current problem. In addition, here are some techniques a person can use to help manage their fears, bipolar, and anxieties.
Learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself.
A good way to manage your fear is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your fearful or anxious, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense.
Sometimes, we may be nervous doing a certain task that may be scary. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship hockey game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that your playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Self Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation.
Remember that there is one power that is stronger than your fears and that is the power of God. A person does not have to be religious to use the power of God. When the going gets tough, talk to God about your problems as if you were talking to a friend. Review the Bible and pray hard. Be persistent and be open in the avenues that God may provide to you in solving your problem. It is not always easy, however God is in control and he will help you if you ask him.
As a Layman, I realize it is not easy to deal with all of our fears, however there are all kinds of help available. The key is to be patient and not to give up. In time, you will be able to find those resources that will help you with your problems.
Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear” an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com
Managing Your Self -Confidence and Fears While In A Relationship
August 8, 2008 | 1 Comment
Some people have a difficult time in managing their fears and self-confidence while being in a relationship. In addition, a person’s self esteem and self-confidence can also suffer. As a result, here is a list of techniques a person can use to help manage their fears and self-confidence while maintaining a relationship.
Remember that practice makes perfect. Whenever it comes to dealing with your anxieties or any other task; practice, patience, and persistence is the name of the game. If you don’t get the desired results the first time around, then keep trying until you do get the results. Through practice, you will become better at the task at hand and your self-confidence will increase. This also applies to managing your anxieties.
In every anxiety-related situation you experience, begin to learn what works, what doesn’t work, and what you need to improve on in managing your fears and anxieties. For instance, you have a lot of anxiety and you decide to take a walk to help you feel better. The next time you feel anxious you can remind yourself that you got through it the last time by taking a walk. This will give you the confidence to manage your anxiety the next time around.
Sometimes, we can get anxious over a task that we will have to perform in the near future. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship volleyball game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that you’re playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Self-Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation and increase your self-confidence.
Don’t forget to Pray and ask God for help. A person can only do so much. Asking God for help can give us additional resources to help manage our fears and self-confidence. It is not always easy, however God is in control and he will help you if you ask him.
Write down on a list everything that you are thankful for. Do not take anything for granted. The next time you feel down, take out your list and review everything that you have listed. This is a great way to remind us of what we have.
As a layman, I realize it can be difficult to manage our anxieties and self-esteem. If you have trouble then talk to a professional who can help you manage your fears, anxieties, and self esteem. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. In the meantime, remember to take it one day at a time.
Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear” an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com
Fantastic Party Favors
August 6, 2008 | Leave a Comment
I had the pleasure recently to review a few baby shower favor items from Beau-coup, an online retailer offering an extensive like of party favors and gifts for a variety of occasions. After opening up the package and taking a peek inside it made me feel like organizing a party because the party favors were so darn adorable. 
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God Can Help You With Your Anxieties While In A Relationship
July 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment
God can help you with your anxieties while you are in a relationship. Using the help of God can make a big difference in overcoming your fears.
The first step a person should do is to start talking and praying to God. A person can go to church or to a quiet place during the day to tell God that they are having a problem. They should tell God how they feel and ask God for some of his help. A person could also review the Bible and read some articles on trusting in God and then apply these concepts in their life. Each and every day, a person should make it up a habit to talk to God and ask for his help.
In addition, learn as much as you can in managing anxiety and depression. There are many books and information that will educate you on how to deal with fear and anxiety. Share this information with others who may be able to help you. Education is the key in finding the answers your looking for in managing your fears.
Think positive. A good way to manage your fear is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your fearful or anxious, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense.
Sometimes, it helps to be able to talk to someone about our stressful situations. Talking to a trusted friend, counselor, or clergyman can not only make us feel better, but they might be able to give you additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. Getting help from a professional will make this entire process easier and will increase your chances of success.
As a Layman, I realized that God is stronger than your fears. Be persistent and be open in the avenues that God may provide to you in solving your problem. It is not always easy, however God is in control and he will help you if you ask him.
Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear” an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com
