About: Stacy
Author's Posts
Writing Motherhood
November 20, 2007 | Leave a Comment
I picked up this wonderful new book called “Writing Motherhood.” It’s a practical guide to recording motherhood and all its ups and downs.
The first step is starting a Mother’s Notebook, which I think is a fabulous idea. I’m the type of person who never really did well with traditional journals. I’d start one and then abandon it because the pressure was just too much. It was overwhelming for me to stare at all those blank pages and think I needed to fill them.
The writer’s notebook is not a journal. Author Lisa Garrigues says there are definitely similarities. Both are about self-discovery and self-expression. However, a Mother’s Notebook is about telling stories, and as moms, we’ve got plenty of those.
Whether it’s a tale about your terrible toddler or a sweet moment with your newborn, a Mother’s Notebook is a place to tell those stories and, at the same time, sharpen your writing skills. It can be a place to document your child’s everyday life from first words to report cards and silly conversations. More important than that, Garrigues says, the Mother’s Notebook allows us to tell our own stories. “It’s a means of understanding who we are as mothers.”
I’ve just started reading it and I can’t wait to go to the store and pick out my Mother’s Notebook.
If you’re a writer or aspire to be one, you should definitely pick up this book. Read more about it here.
The Little Things
April 30, 2007 | Leave a Comment
I knew that having a baby would change my life. No late night romps with my husband. No more sleeping until 11 a.m. Still, I never anticipated losing out on the little things. Here are just a few of the unexpected ways my daughter has rocked my world.
I used to blast the radio in my car and sing at the top of my lungs. Now, I’m lucky if I get five minutes of my favorite station in before she screams, "Wiggles!"
Weathering the Storm
July 13, 2006 | Leave a Comment
Last week I had a horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad day. One of my worst days as a mom. I took my daughter to her feeding therapy this morning and she was doing great.
When it was time to clean up and go, she had a meltdown. A HUGE meltdown. I warned her five minutes before we stopped, but that didn’t work. I tried distracting her, bribing her, walking away, being patient, yada, yada, yada. Nothing was working. So I warned her again that if she didn’t get up and walk out all by herself like a big girl, I would carry her out screaming and yelling. And that’s just what she did ~ SCREAM AND YELL.
She dropped to the floor a couple times and pretended to fall asleep. When she wouldn’t get up, I picked her up. When she started slipping out of my arms, I put her down and she flopped on the floor. She was making such a scene that people started coming up to me and asking if I needed help. All I wanted to do was get out of there and hide. She was kicking and screaming and flailing her arms. This went on for the entire walk to the car, which went through a quiet hallway IN A HOSPITAL and then through the parking garage.
When we finally got to the car, I pretty much threw her in and shut the door. I got in the front seat and cried my eyes out. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I just wanted to disappear. I cried and yelled ~ cried and yelled some more. She refused to get in her car seat so I waited, then yelled, waited and yelled some more. Then I got out of the car and walked around the back to force her in, but she was already on her way in the seat. I buckled her up, got back in the car, and drove away as fast as I could.
I called my husband so he could distract me from crying but he didn’t answer. I turned the radio up so I couldn’t hear J screaming and crying. She was trying to wiggle herself out of the car seat. All I could think to myself was, "this is crazy, this is not normal. normal kids don’t act like this." I started to cry again and she heard me sobbing. It made her cry harder. I drove as fast as I could and finally got home. I didn’t say a word, helped her out of the car and opened the front door. She walked in and laid down on the floor. I took her shoes off, picked her up and brought her into her room. Changed her diaper really quick, pulled the blanket over her, put on some soft music and walked out without saying a word. I heard her whimper as I walked away, but I just couldn’t talk. Instead, I curled up into a ball on the couch and cried. I actually sobbed! I felt, I FEEL, so alone in this. No one gets it. I was embarrassed, angry, sad, confused, frustrated. I literally wanted to throw her across the room. Why does it always have to be so difficult?
Doing Some Research
June 30, 2006 | 1 Comment
Our feeding therapist suggested we look into The Center for Pediatric Feeding and Swallowing Disorders at St. Joseph’s Children’s Hospital. I have been looking into it online and here’s what I found.
St. Joseph’s Children’s Hospital offers a unique, methodical, and multidisciplinary approach to the assessment and treatment of pediatric feeding and swallowing disorders. It is designed to focus on the medical, motor, and learned patterns that often accompany this dysfunction.
Tier One - Outpatient
Initially, all children are scheduled for an evaluation as an outpatient. A list of factors that are interfering with feeding success or progress are identified, and a stepwise management plan is devised. This may include interventions here at the Center with training of the family and community therapists to continue the child’s program in their natural environment. Patient follow-up and parent/therapist training are essential elements for the outpatient tier. Treatment frequency is assessed based on need. Children who require more intensive interventions will be referred to the Day Treatment or Inpatient component of this three-tiered program.Tier Two - Day Treatment
Day Treatment is recommended specifically when a child is not making progress on an outpatient basis, or for the child who is ready to make significant rapid changes such as learning swallowing compensations to make swallowing safe for more oral intake, or advancing from tube feedings to oral intake. Children who live at least two hours away from the Center can send in medical records and a videotape of a feeding session to be considered for admission directly into the Day Treatment Program. Admission goals in these cases may be to complete a full evaluation and initiate a treatment program that will then be carried out primarily at home with consultative assistance from the Center’s team. Children coming from Outpatient treatment will also have specific goals determined by the team and family. Each treatment plan in individually established and modified daily using treatment session data and applied behavioral analysis. Our focus is to establish positive learning experiences on a foundation of good nutrition and optimized function of the body systems that support feeding. Family involvement in this program is crucial and begins initially through observation and education. As the child and family progress, supported interactions at meal times are gradually reestablished. Once the child parents are able to consistently and independently carry out the treatment program throughout the entire day, discharge is planned. The Day Treatment setting is similar to a specialized day care. A nurse supervises the play area and provides tube feedings, medications, and daily care as per the doctors’ orders. Therapy staff implement multiple motor and feeding sessions according to the child’s plan. The environment is safe, clean, and designed for children. Daily schedules include time for naps, play, and lots of interaction. Day Treatment occurs from 8:30am to 4pm, five days a week. Treatment goals are established for the weekends at home.
I’m not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, I would like for this to be over. I need my child to eat and I need her to eat now. It’s been more than a year.
On the other hand, am I making things worse by putting her through all this? Will she REALLY learn to do it on her own in time? I think I am going to look into in further and see exactly how they plan to get my daughter to chew her food and not freak out if I offer her a cookie.
If anyone out there knows anything about the feeding therapy at St. Joseph’s, please e-mail me at stacymae76@hotmail.com
Frustrated with Feeding Therapy
June 27, 2006 | 3 Comments
I thought I’d give you a little background on an issue my family has been dealing with for more than a year now. My 3 year-old is in feeding therapy. She DOES NOT chew her food. She has what is called tactile defensiveness. More to the point, she has a problem with texture. Hates anything crunchy or lumpy in her mouth. Will not touch certain foods. She will only eat smooth things like yogurt, pudding, applesauce, baby oatmeal, etc. For the longest time, she was eating ONLY baby food. Pureed jars of baby food.
I noticed something wasn’t right when she was about 8 months old. She had no interest in Cheerios. Wouldn’t touch them. She would gag if I put them in her mouth. She would gag if they were in MY mouth. I tried other things like cheese or pasta or even bread, but she wanted nothing to do with any of it. My pediatrician kept saying it’s no big deal. She’ll get there. Give her some time. So I did.
On her first birthday, things were no different. I wanted so bad for her to taste a piece of her yummy vanilla cupcake but she refused. Wouldn’t even lick the icing. Any time I tried she would scream and cry. Needless to say I never got the face-full-of-cake picture I was hoping for.
Still my pediatrician said, "don’t worry." She was gaining weight so there was no cause for alarm. She’s just picky people tried to tell me. I knew it was more than that. She didn’t like the way the grass felt on her bare feet. She hated finger paint and sand. She would have a tantrum if the sun was in her eyes. It was drivng me crazy that these things were upsetting her and everyone kept saying it was normal.
So, at her 2 year checkup with the doc, I said I wanted to see somebody. He suggested a feeding therapist. I went to see her and she also suggested getting her evaluated by Early Intervention, which I did.
She qualified for both and has been receiving occupational therapy and feeding therapy for a little more than a year now. The progress has been EXTREMELY slow going. The worst part for me is not having anyone to talk to. I know absolutely no one who has ever had to deal with something like this. I searched the web but the moms I found had kids who were either autistic or had downs syndrome and my daughter has neither. In fact, she is super bright. And that’s part of the problem.
I could never trick her or bribe her or force her to eat. When I did get past the fear and anxiety and get her to eat a spoonful of macaroni and cheese or pastina, she would gag and throw up. It is a vicious cycle.
I’ve gone from feeling hopeful to desperate and finally back to hopeful.
She has made some great progress. She loves french fries and will put them in her mouth and pretended to chew. She will suck on them and even break off small pieces and swallow. It might not sound like much, but if you know how we’ve been struggling for the past year, you’d be proud.
But I feel myself losing hope. Even the feeding therapist seems confused. Why is she still not chewing? She suggested I check out St. Joseph’s Hospital. They have an intensive feeding program where she would go every day for a few hours and they guarantee success. I’m tempted but finances are tight and chances are it won’t be covered by insurance. As it is now, her therapy is only covered 80 percent.
My Sex and the City Moment
June 26, 2006 | Leave a Comment
When I first started watching Sex and the City, I envied Carrie Bradshaw. Not for her fancy clothes or expensive shoes, but for her job. She was a columnnist. How cool is that? She gets to writes about her fabulous life.
Granted, my life is not as glamorous, but I still dream of putting pen to paper and sharing my life with the world. Not because I think anyone will care, but because I need to empty my brain. There’s so much going on in there, so much swirling around and it needs to come out.