Archive for 'Jelly Mom'

Lost & Found: One Mind

Posted on 23. Oct, 2007 by Lisa Barker.

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©Lisa Barker
Many times my husband will come home from work and ask me how my day went and I will tell him, “I know I was busy all day, but I don’t have any idea what I did!”
Well, I finally figured it out.  I’m not losing my memory I’m losing my mind.
Every day I make [...]

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Cooking Up a Comedy of Errs

Posted on 23. Oct, 2007 by Lisa Barker.

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©Lisa Barker
On September 6, 2007 I, Lisa Barker, did not burn, cut or maim myself when I cooked dinner.
Don’t laugh.  This is a big feat.  If there were chain mail I could wear while cooking dinner my husband would buy it for me.  But he would have it asbestos-lined because, he reminds me, metal is [...]

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Look Out! It’s The Estrogen Express

Posted on 23. Oct, 2007 by Lisa Barker.

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©Lisa Barker
My husband is a manly man.  He takes great pride in being the head of the household and he does a great job as a husband and father.  I don’t mind deferring to him…but he’s about to be dethroned.
There are three women living in our house.  Any sane man will tell you that that [...]

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Top Signs of Volunteer Burn-out

Posted on 23. Oct, 2007 by Lisa Barker.

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©Lisa Barker
One of the best things parents can do for their children is to volunteer in the classroom or for an after school sport or club.  But sometimes parents, especially moms, can over-commit and that can quickly lead to burn-out and resentment.  Post the following list on your refrigerator to help keep your volunteerism in [...]

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Signs That You Are a Chocoholic

Posted on 23. Oct, 2007 by Lisa Barker.

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©Lisa Barker
1.  You like to dip strawberries, cherries and bananas in chocolate so you start experimenting at dinner with broccoli and cauliflower substituting chocolate for cheese.
2.  You buy a bottle of chocolate syrup and carry it around in a small paper bag for a quick nip when you need it.
3.  You pour yourself a cup [...]

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I’m A Soul Woman

Posted on 23. Oct, 2007 by Lisa Barker.

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©Lisa Barker
I tried one of those self-tanning gimmicks.  It took me almost an hour to choose from all the products and if I had just spent that amount of time in the sun, I wouldn’t have had to spend twenty dollars on an experiment.
Everybody’s going to know I got a tan out of a bottle [...]

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Parenting Teens: Next Will Come A Plague of Locusts

Posted on 23. Oct, 2007 by Lisa Barker.

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©Lisa Barker
It happens every day at 3:20PM.  I brace myself behind the kitchen counter, the door opens and I defend myself with apples, peanut butter and pretzels.
They mow through them like linebackers then retreat to their rooms where they unburden themselves of the three hundred pound backpacks they lug everywhere.
I prepare for the second wave.  [...]

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MjA8L2xpPjxsaT48c3Ryb25nPndvb19zaW5nbGVfd2lkdGg8L3N0cm9uZz4gLSAxODA8L2xpPjxsaT48c3Ryb25nPndvb190YWJzPC9zdHJvbmc+IC0gZmFsc2U8L2xpPjxsaT48c3Ryb25nPndvb190aGVtZW5hbWU8L3N0cm9uZz4gLSBCdXN5IEJlZTwvbGk+PGxpPjxzdHJvbmc+d29vX3RodW1iX2hlaWdodDwvc3Ryb25nPiAtIDg4PC9saT48bGk+PHN0cm9uZz53b29fdGh1bWJfd2lkdGg8L3N0cm9uZz4gLSA4ODwvbGk+PGxpPjxzdHJvbmc+d29vX3R3aXR0ZXI8L3N0cm9uZz4gLSA8L2xpPjxsaT48c3Ryb25nPndvb192aWRlb19jYXRlZ29yeTwvc3Ryb25nPiAtIFZpZGVvczwvbGk+PC91bD4=