Ten Benefits to Maintaining Good Relationships
Strong positive relationships are essential to achieving our success - whether they are work relationships, family relationships or relationships with others in our communities. We’re in almost constant contact with others and we should make every contact an opportunity to strengthen our social skills and reinforce our relationships.
With that in mind, here are ten benefits for maintaining good long-term relationships:
1. Trust: Long-term relationships are based on trust. When we trust others, we are more relaxed, comfortable and willing to be ourselves without any pretenses or trying to maintain a facade of someone we’re not.
2. Acceptance: Once we experience trust with others, we can be honest about our weaknesses and shortcomings because we’re confident that we will be accepted for who we are, without judgment or criticism.
3. Support: Our lives go through many changes, some planned and some take us by surprise. In either case, they often take us out of our comfort zone and challenge us to grow and become more than we were before. Good, healthy relationships give us the support and encouragement we need to rise to new and different challenges.
4. A Kind Ear: Having someone who will listen non-judgmentally when you’re feeling down or frustrated and want to “vent” gives you the freedom to express yourself. Sometimes you just need to get something off your chest without feeling like you have to watch every word you say.
5. Understanding: When someone knows you well enough to understand where you’re “coming from” and instantly know the context in which you’re speaking, it’s easier to open up. Individuals in long-term relationships have a history of shared experiences that build a mutual understanding so they “get you” without a lot of explanation.
6. Someone to Call On When You Need a Hand: Everyone, from time to time, needs a hand from a friend, colleague, peer, or family member. This can be in the form of advice, a new job, or assistance with a particular project in which you need to call on another’s expertise.
7. Referrals and References: You can count on the people with whom you have a good relationship to give you a positive reference or referral - they’re more likely to be a good advocate for you and expound on your strengths and strong points.
8. Share and Celebrate: Celebrating with people who truly care about you and want celebrate with you when your life is going well, when you secured a promotion, or when bought your first house is a ton fun. Being acknowledged for your accomplishments is a rewarding experience and when you have good relationships, most want to be part of celebrating your success.
9. Reduced Stress: Sharing your life with friends and coworkers who you trust, who accept, understand and support you reduces stress because you have camaraderie and, therefore, less potential for interpersonal conflicts. Good relationships bring about the best in work teams and families by reducing the anxieties that cause stress and, at the same time, good relationships cultivate a sense of well-being and emotional security.
10. Happiness and Satisfaction: Having good relationships mean that there’s a mutual like for one another. Being around people you like and who like you create situations that are harmonious, supportive, and well, happy. You have an overall feeling of satisfaction in your life - be it at work, at home, or in your community.
Now, here are ten benefits others will receive from having a good relationship with you:
1. Trust
2. Acceptance
3. Support
4. A Kind Ear
5. Understanding
6. Someone to Call On When You Need a Hand
7. Referrals and References
8. Share and Celebrate
9. Reduce Stress
10. Happiness and Satisfaction
Did you notice that the list was exactly the same?
The strongest and best relationships are made when all parties give and receive. If you want these ten benefits for yourself, you have to give them to others.
Too often we look at relationships with a “what-do-I-get-out-of-this?” perspective. That’s not how good relationships work. It’s about give and take.
Think about what you want out of a relationship, then give it. You’ll be surprised at how much better your relationships become!
Laurie Wilhelm is the author of the Express Yourself to Success. This eBook and website are designed to help you achieve success more quickly by using strong verbal communications skills. Achieve your success by working with others through improved social and interpersonal skills, public speaking, networking, negotiation, and conflict resolution. Find out how you can give your career a boost by going to www.expressyourselftosuccess.com.
It’s Time for Spring Housecleaning
One of our most difficult choices was to sell a new home we had built a year earlier. No, we didn’t have mold in the basement or obnoxious neighbors living next door; we just couldn’t afford it. We were house poor and we were honest enough to admit it. Moving into a house half the size meant we had to swallow a great deal of our pride.
Why was that so hard to do that one spring? Materialism teaches the lie that we are what we own. It promises that whatever we lack in our self-confidence we can make up in what we own.
God offers a wonderful alternative to materialism. It’s called contentment. Contentment is the choice we make to be at peace with the provisions God has placed in our lives. It’s a radical and counter-cultural thought.
Who we are is shaped by what we worship. True self-confidence comes from worshiping Jesus Christ. He allows us to be at peace with what we own, even if God never adds anything to it. If we have worked hard and followed Christ diligently, then all we own is all God must believe that we need for right now. Do you know the best news of all? God’s contentment doesn’t cost us a thing - except our misery.
Maybe instead of just doing spring housecleaning this year you need to consider downsizing to give yourself time for what is really important. Maybe you don’t need to sell your home but maybe you need to give up something else that is hindering the new true wealth which is time. You will finally be able to afford both quality and quantity time with your family. You may finally have time for a date night every week with your spouse. You may have time to deepen your relationship with Christ. You may have time to find that Christ can meet your needs in any and every situation because you won’t be chasing and running after everything else. You may have time for Scripture memory, prayer, church attendance, and Bible study.
At the Christian college that Bob attended a most unusual college course was offered. For thirty days each January during the coldest month of the year in Minnesota, a history professor took students to live in what what was known as “The Depression House.” The idea was to replicate the difficult conditions of rural America in the 1930’s. For one month the students would forego hamburgers, pizza, and tacos for a diet consisting of cornmeal, homemade bread, and beans.
The irony is that students flocked to the course. The majority were from affluent homes in which they had never known deprivation or struggle. The value of the course was that they discovered true contentment and happiness can survive even a Depression.
The apostle Paul from the New Testament wrote most of his letters while held in damp and dreary prisons. We can assure you those awful prisons needed a real spring housecleaning but Paul could speak of joy and contentment because he discovered that even in prison Christ is present and alive. The secret of contentment for the Apostle Paul was his relationship with Jesus Christ.
“I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:12b
God wants us to learn the lesson in our family and marriage that Christ is contentment. That’s the secret to really doing a spring housecleaning where it matters most - in your soul.
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By Cheryl and Bob Moeller
Cheryl Moeller is a columnist for www.mommiesmagazine.com. She’s also an outrageous stand up comic for moms. Her syndicated humor columns will make you laugh until you feel better. Find out more about her new CD “Spin Cycle,” her humor columns and how you can bring her to speak at your mom’s group at www.momlaughs.blogspot.com
Bob is President of Marriage. His conference website is www.forkeepsconference.com. He is a pastor, speaker, TV show host, and writer on marriage issues.
They have co-authored two books. Marriage Minutes, Moody Press and For Better, For Worse, For Keeps, Marrriagevine Press can be purchased on www.momlaughs.blogspot.com.
Can A Bad Relationship Be The Result Of An Unhealthy Body And Mind?
Your life can be affected in many ways by having an unhealthy body because of poor eating habits and the lack of exercise. But can your love life be affected?
When a new relationship is started with that certain someone special, then you want it to last as long as possible. A healthy relationship needs to be established in order to achieve that. You will want to ensure that you have a healthy body and mind in order to have a well-built relationship with someone.
How can a relationship be made healthy? By having secure, self-esteem and confidence in yourself will result in a healthy mind, resulting in you being aware of what you want out of life. Self-determination can be achieved when having a healthy mind, which will help you to believe in yourself and undertake things yourself, not depending entirely upon your partner.
By having an unhealthy mind, you will have very little or no sense of worth or self-confidence. Communication becomes absent because you are in your own little world and only look to your partner for direction in your life, which will place a weight upon the shoulders of your partner.
A healthy body is when you take care of yourself. An effort is made to maintain a healthy weight and you take pride in your appearance. You don’t smoke or drink or undertake anything that would give grounds for damage to your body over a period of time.
On a regular basis you undertake exercise in order to keep your heart in a healthy condition and consume a sensible diet. You keep a positive attitude which makes your partner want to spend quality time with you.
You will certainly have an unhealthy body when you cannot be bothered to take care of yourself or your body. You let yourself go while smoking and drinking. Most of the time you consume junk food and your waist inflates.
You don’t undertake any form of exercise or do anything that would maintain a strong heart because you cannot be bothered and do not care about yourself. You have a bad mental attitude, which results in your relationship breaking up because your partner does not wish to spend any more time with you. After all, you can’t fault your partner. If you don’t care about yourself, then why should they?
A positive attitude can be acquired once your body and mind are in sync with each other. This will keep the line of communication with your partner fully open. This will allow you to listen to your partner which will help you to support them if they require. It is more likely that you will do whatever is necessary in order to keep your relationship solid.
Avoid setbacks at all times and take a stand on your physical and mental health. Do not allow setbacks to obliterate your state of mind or have an impact upon your health for the long term. Maintain a healthy body, mind and relationship.
Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.
Penny Bail Bond Anger Tip: Add Gray To Your World
It was our 5th pre-marital counseling session with 34 year old Natasha, a professional woman, and 32 year old Emir, a mortgage broker. The day before, she had unknowingly called him at work at a very bad time; he was in the process of losing a $5000 commission because one of house deals was falling out of escrow.
In session Natasha said: “You snapped at me when I called and that was disrespecting me; I won’t put up with a man who disrespects me.”
Emir replied: “Honey, I didn’t disrespect you, I was just under tremendous stress and I snapped a little-it was not directed at you; I was just frustrated.”
Therapist to Natasha: “Sometimes, part of loving someone is learning to interpret their behavior in a context (because we know them so well) without taking their bad behavior so personally.”
Natasha: “NO. People should say what they mean. If he was upset over work, he shouldn’t have taken it out on me. Why should I have to interpret him?”
Many participants in anger management classes admit they are there because they see the world as “black and white” with nothing between.
“Things are either right or wrong,this way or that way. People should say what they mean and mean what they say.”
Sounds good on the surface. Who could argue with that? But when you think about it, what is wrong with this concept? The main problem is that just because you heard something a certain way, does not make what you heard absolute fact. Why? Because we all listen with certain listening filters, platforms or agendas that sometimes distort things.
What is said is not necessary what is heard, especially in the emotional and relationship realms.
When trying to communicate with each other, things are simply are not that clear cut. Many issues are “gray” because they are based in perception and viewpoint rather than hard facts. Those that rigidly adhere to the “black and white” principle and insist in seeing things in rigid extremes often find themselves frustrated, disappointed and angry.
To reduce your anger toward marriage partners, family members, co-workers, and relatives, try developing the skill of seeing things as having more than one perspective. Rarely are people 100% right or 100% wrong on most of the issues that people conflict and argue over. It is possible for both parties to be partially right at the same time that they are both partially wrong.
At the end of one of our anger management classes, one of the participants joked: “What do you call a person who brags about his or her philosophy of my way or the highway?”
Answer: (drum roll) “Divorced” (or single).
Dr Tony Fiore is a licensed psychologist, anger management trainer, and community education consultant to Penny Bail Bonds Company. Read more of his articles and discover other useful community resources at http://www.pennybailbonds.com
