Archive for 'Life As A Mom'
Autism support and solutions for bullying in today’s classrooms
Posted on 27. Mar, 2009 by Mom Mag.
Parents whose children with autism/Asperger’s have been victims of bullying in school have been seeking answers within our community. In some cases a the child has been relentlessly teased by a peer, in some other more severe cases the child has been the victim of physical abuse at the hands of another student.
Children with autism are particularly susceptible to bullying. Having difficulty understanding social cues and exhibiting unusual behaviors frequently make a child (and an adult!) an easy target for jokes, teasing, and general disparagement. Gone unchecked, this kind of negative activity can have long lasting emotional, psychological and even physical impact. It is the responsibility of each parent to protect and defend the interests of their child, and a legal obligation of the school and its personnel to provide a safe environment where students can learn without fear, and in accordance to that child’s IEP.
Here are some tips that parents can use when bullying of their child with autism occurs:
- Document. Keep a log of any bullying that your child might experience with the day, who it was, what happened, who was told – if anyone. Your record of events can be one of your most powerful tools in helping to defend the rights of your child. If there is any physical abuse, take photographs along with your written record.
- Escalate. Parents need not be shy about contacting the child’s teacher when an incident of bullying occurs. There is one woman in our community to tried to approach the teacher and was told there was “nothing she could do about it” – and that the other child was just an aggressive type. A few days thereafter, this woman’s child was physically beaten by the bully and admitted to a hospital, and the woman is suing the school. The school and teacher are legally responsible for the educational health of all students. If you fail to get a satisfactory response, escalate to the principal. Then to the school board. You can also contact your local Americans with Disabilities Act representative and even hire a lawyer to write to your school board to ensure your child’s safety and right to education.
- Script. Those with autism can benefit greatly from rehearsing and scripting social interactions, both positive and negative. Sure, you can’t plan for every kind of situation, but it is helpful for parents to create a framework for options and responses for when such situations do occur.
Whether you’re a teacher or administrator within a school system, the following tips should be considered:
1. Don’t blame the ASD. I have heard cases of the victim being blamed for being bullied because of his/her ASD behaviorisms. “Tommy’s teasing you because you’re always moving your hands funny, so just stop that.” This is tantamount to telling an African-American boy he’s being teased because his skin color is darker – so just change it. Ridiculous!
2. Public admonishment can backlash. The axiom, “Praise in public, critique in private” is highly relevant here. A well-intentioned teacher or staff member who calls the bully out onto the floor, showing the whole class the bully is being punished for teasing the kid with ASD can have a backlash effect as it magnifies the conflict in front of peers and can further isolate the child with autism. Better to remove the bully from the class and admonish in private.
3. Document. One of the teacher’s responsibilities is to ensure a healthy learning environment for all students in a classroom. Keeping a written record of bullying behavior, incidents and steps taken is an important document should the matter need to be escalated within the school, for a student’s IEP and informational purposes for parents.
4. Implement a social curriculum. Particularly important for the earlier grades is developing social curriculums in which social cues and responses can be demonstrated and taught and is generally key for autism support. How one can recognize and respond to teasing/bullying, appropriate peer interaction, reacting to stressful situations can all be exposed in a group setting and learned as a group. This helps the NT children as well as those with ASD.
Finally, engage your school representatives in the creation of a plan for dealing with both bullies and victims if one does not yet exist. Having a school-wide plan in place and making the consequences well known across the school is an effective way to broadcast a clear message and set expectations for both students and teachers.
Brian Field is the co-founder of the Autism Support Network
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The Effects of Stress on Your Health
Posted on 15. Dec, 2008 by Nanette.
Yes, it’s true everyone has stress in their life whether it be financial, physical ailments, family stress, work stress, time constraints we all have some sort of stress in our lives. But how we cope with the stresses in our lives can impact our health in adverse ways if we don’t cope with them correctly.
Moms, as much as we may think we are invincible and even want to believe that we really are we aren’t. If we don’t learn to cope with stress in a healthful way then it can affect our physical health. So, first we much come to terms with the fact that we aren’t invincible and we don’t have to be. We don’t have to do it ALL.
If you come home from a long work day to a pile of dirty dishes, laundry piled up, or some other household task that hasn’t been cared for what happens? Chances are the first person who even mentions the mess is going to get an earful. Not only that but your body reacts as well, you blood pressure rises, a headache may ensue, or you may just feel like your stomach is in knots. Sure you can take an asprin for your headache or an antacid for your now upset stomach but it isn’t the answer. A pill isn’t going to make things right. In fact, it may do just the opposite.
A pill may seem to make things better for that instance but what is it really doing to your body? Too much pain medication can actually cause irritation to your digestive system and that in turn will just cause more stress. Are you coping with your stress in an unhealthy way?
Do you eat when you are stressed? What do you head for when you are stressing out? Chances are it isn’t something healthy. Most people head for the unhealthy comfort foods such as chocolate and other sweets. Doing so can be extremely dangerous as it can lead to such things as obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. These are dangerous illnesses that can lead to even more dangerous health situations such as stroke or heart disease. You are a mom, and your kids need you around for as long as you can be, therefore unhealthy habits such as these would lead you in the opposite directions. A road you don’t want to go down.
Take some time to look past the mess of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich attempt your little one made and go cuddle with him on the couch instead and kiss away all the jelly spots on his little face and just really enjoy being a mom and leave the stress behind with the mess you can clean up later. I kind of doubt it’s going anywhere.
Learn to leave work stress at work and out of your home life. Spend more time cuddling with those you love and cope with life’s stresses in a manner that will make sure you will be around for your little for years to come.
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Reduce Mealtime Stress
Posted on 15. Nov, 2008 by Nanette.
Mealtimes should be a time for the entire family to sit, relax and enjoy some family time together at the end of the day but this isn’t usually the case is it? Kids are hiding their unwanted veggies in a napkin or feeding most of their unwanted main course to the dog. Not exactly what you had in mind while slaving over the hot stove after a long day of work or a day of totting the kids around huh?
Why let meals be another stress when you can have someone else take care of all the planning for you? Yes, you can have someone else plan out your families meals making one less task you need to stress about. I’m talking about menu planning services. Not only do you get your meals planned out but you also get your grocery lists prepared for you so you only get what you need which saves you from having to run around the grocery store trying to figure out what you need for the week or even month. With your grocery list already prepared you can check out the deals and look for some coupons and save. Some services also offer tips to keep your organized for meal preparation time which makes life much easier for you when it comes to dinner time. One such services is www.MenuPlanningCentral.com Make sure you check it out.
Another option would be to pull out that slow cooker and begin using it to your advantage. Slow cooker cooking can be a tremendous time saver. Simply add all your ingredients in the morning, set it to low and off you go. By the time you get back from work or just in time for dinner your meal is already and waiting. Even better you only have one pot to clean. Woohoo! Who doesn’t love fewer dishes to wash?
Why not make it a fun thing? Grab a couple of girlfriends, set aside a day to get together and bulk cook. Work together, make larger than normal size batches of your favorite meals and then split the portions up. Everyone will get to take some meals home, and you’ve gotten a little girl talk in with some friends at the same time. Doing this, will give you some “girl time”, save you some money and save you some time as well as get you some great meals.
Try freezer meals too. Prepare large quantities of foods your family likes, divide them into meal size portions and place them in the freezer for easy preparation later. All you’ll need to do is pull them out of the freezer, heat and serve.
With a little preparation and a little help you can make dinnertime pleasant for your family and for you.
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Don’t Let the Holiday Season Put You in the Supermom Trap
Posted on 05. Nov, 2008 by Nanette.
The holidays are creeping upon us…and fast. Just look at the calendar it’s already November and the days are passing quickly. :-(
Although it’s a great family time of year, for most of us moms it means having to kick life into overdrive (as if we aren’t already) trying to get everything done. You’ve done this time and time again and you know just how overwhelming it can all be.
If you need a little help:
- Learning how to say no WITHOUT the guilt
- Getting organized, so you can get plenty done without losing your mind
- Getting just a little healthier for increased energy and reduced stress
…you have to pick up a copy of Aurelia William’s “Real Life Guidance to Getting Out of the Supermom Trap”. She’ll show you just how to do all that and inspire you with stories of other moms who dug themselves out of the supermom trap too.
Aurelia is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping women find balance and satisfaction in their lives and her advice is always right on target. Instead of going crazy this time around, grab her guide and start making changes before the holiday frenzy starts.
You can learn more about the guide and get yours here: “Real Life Guidance to Getting Out of the Supermom Trap”
The guide and all the accompanying goodies (check them out at the link above) are available for instant download. So there is no need to wait for snail mail to get out of that SuperMom Trap once and for all! You’ll be glad you did and you’ll have a great holiday season with a lot less stress.
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Stress Reduction Tips For The Entire Family
Posted on 18. Oct, 2008 by Nanette.
Busy family lifestyles lead to stressed out families. Stressed out families can often lead to more problems and issues. Learning to deal with family stress before the stress becomes a huge problem is a good idea. If you already have problems, then learning to deal with the issues that are causing you stress is essential in helping you to overcome these difficulties.
One of the largest contributors to stress is over commitment. Families are pulled in multiple directions by varying activities. The more children there are the more activities there are, the more refined the balancing act becomes.
Think about the list of activities that you and your children are involved in. Why are they involved in each activity? Is it because they have a passion for it or is it because they needed to have a more rounded activity schedule? Let your child choose a few activities that they feel drawn to. Let them explore their passions, but don’t sign them up for every activity there is. Teach them to pick and choose their priorities when choosing activities. Doing one thing and doing it well is different from doing several things that there isn’t a passion for.
The same that applies for your children and their activities should apply to yours as well. Learn to say no. If you are already committed to several activities and are stressed for time, do you really need to participate in one more activity? Learning to say no and to weed through the activities you already do will help cut down on your stress.
A less stressed parent makes a less stressed child. Our moods and behaviors are often reflected in our children. Leading by example is a wonderful motto to live by. Our children see how we deal with stress and emulate it. Wading
through our activities and learning to say no are only two activities. Another one would be to learn to slow down and enjoy family time.
When is the last time you had a sit down meal with everyone gathered around the table? A meal where there was no rush to get somewhere or to go and pick someone up. Having a meal together is a family bonding time. It is an excellent opportunity for children and parents to be together. They can discuss what is on their minds, what goals they have or even what is bothering them, to cause stress. Just this simple act of sitting down and sharing a meal can lower stress in a family.
Have a family movie or game night. These are activities that everyone can enjoy together. Have the children and parents take turns picking out movies or games to play. There may be old family favorites or you may find new ones
that become your family’s games.
Whatever you choose, do it together. The more a family shares, at meals, movies or over games, the closer they become. A closer a family is the more they are inclined to talk and discuss things. This is a great combat against family stress.
Reduce your family’s stress with Real Life Solutions from Aurelia Williams.
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Slash Your Grocery Bills
Posted on 15. Oct, 2008 by Nanette.
Are you looking for a great way to save money on your groceries? A Menu Planning Service can come to the rescue. These ingenious services help you plan, save on grocery costs and manage your dinner meals simply and easily.
Menu Planning services provide moms with a simple to follow dinner menu for each week. Not only do you get awesome dinner meal ideas including main dishes, side dishes and desserts that are satisfying, simple to prepare and healthy, but you also get a personalized grocery list to simply shop for the ingredients for the upcoming week. You can save loads of money, because when you know which meals you will be preparing and which ingredients you will need you won’t wastefully purchase ingredients and items that are not required.
Many people spend hundreds of dollars each year buying food ingredients that they don’t need. In many cases foods are wasted, because they sit around not being used in any meals you prepare. Once you find a meal idea for these ingredients, they are usually too old, spoiled or stale.
By utilizing a menu planning service you will also save on fast food and casual dining restaurant bills. Many families become frustrated when there is no food in their refrigerator. Instead of preparing a healthy and low cost meal at home, they opt for the ease of visiting fast food and casual dining restaurants that can easily cost $20, $50, $100 or more. If you are looking for a reason to keep you at home rather than at high priced restaurants, a meal planning service is an affordable and practical solution.
Another way you can reap the rewards from menu planning is with all the time you will save. Now that everything is planned out for you, you won’t have to spend time each day running back and forth to the grocery store to buy needed food items, you can have your whole week’s meals planned out and have a comfortable and relaxing time at home with your family.
If you are looking for an awesome way to save on your grocery bills, check out a menu planning service. Dine Without Whine is a great menu planning service for active families. Go to http://www.dinewithoutwhine.com to discover even more rewards to menu planning.
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Baby Sign Language – Boost Your Baby’s Future
Posted on 05. Oct, 2008 by Nanette.
Teaching sign language to babies has become not just “the thing to do” but rather has come to the forefront of the beginning of us, as parents taking the lead in educating our children from their earliest days. Teaching sign language to your baby is easier than you may think. We teach our babies sign language without even thinking about it. We teach them “bye-bye” by showing them to wave, or to try to tell us what they want by pointing to objects. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying babies minds are like little sponges they take in everything. Learning comes so easy to them. It’s just incredible. You will be amazed at how quickly you can begin to communicate with your baby using signs. This can be fun and easy for the entire family. It’s never too late to start.
We all want to be able to communicate with our babies, grandbabies or siblings as soon as we can beyond the babbling and cooing. It’s nice to be able to know what your baby needs and be able to provide that for them quickly. Start out using signs that will help you learn what your baby wants from you, whether it be food or milk or changed or some other sign that would indicate his/her needs.
Begin with just a sign or two till you all get the hang of it. Use the sign for food when it’s meal time or you are feeding your baby or show them an object and the sign for that particular object so that they can begin to make the connection between the object and the sign for it. Consistency is the key. If they see the sign every time you use the word they will quickly learn that sign. Saying the words out loud also encourages speech development. It’s important for children to hear those words as well as learn the signs. It’s the beginning of their vocabulary contrary to the misconception that babies will not learn to speak if taught sign language. Sing language in my experience has advanced my children’s verbal abilities not hindered it in the least.
Benefits for You & Your Baby
Studies have shown so many benefits to babies who use sign language. They learn to speak earlier, have less frustrations (a benefit for both baby and you) less frustration = less crying, increased vocabulary, a greater interest in books, greater self-esteem, higher IQ points and my personal favorite a closer bond with family members (which I have enjoyed first hand). Sign language will help in the development of your child’s vocabulary and can be a huge benefit to them in the future allowing them to communicate with both hearing and non hearing individuals.
And by the time they are two and into the “terrible twos” which is mainly due to frustrations of not being able to communicate their needs and wants for most kids, being able to communicate thru signs even if they can’t communicate their thoughts fully to you verbally, may help in reducing those frustrations, whining and temper tantrums.
Teaching your baby sign language is an easy, fun and exciting way to begin communicating with your newest little member of the family. Make the most of your time with your little one. Sharing, bonding and learning together as a family.
If you’d like to learn more about teaching either your baby sign language or teaching other families how to teach their babies infant sign language I encourage you to visit: KinderSigns for more information.
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