Stop Seeking Approval and Go for What YOU Want

photo credit: Bert Heymans

Somewhere in time, women became known as “the weaker sex.” Tell that to Joan of Arc, Cleopatra, Annie Oakley or Susan B. Anthony. Obviously those women, an entire tribe of Amazons and possibly many of your friends would fiercely disagree. Read more

How To Balance A Family, Your Job, And Your Stresses

In can be difficult for adults to have to take care of their families and manage their careers. This can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. As a result, here are a few steps in how to take care of your family and your career without getting stressed.

Try to set goals for yourself when you manage your family or career. When you go to work each day, try to set some goals for you to accomplish. For instance, your goal for today is to finish the report that your boss wants. At the end of the day, you will feel better about yourself knowing that you were able to finish that report. When you accomplish these smaller goals, you will feel happier, more confident, and less stressed.

Delegate part of your responsibilities. When taking care of the family, get your spouse to help out. If your kids are older, get them to assist you. If you are at work, only take on what you can handle. Do not try to do everything all at once. Learn to delegate and work with other people.

If you try to do everything, you will get stressed and anxious. A person can only do so much in a given day. Do not be a hero. Learn to manage your responsibilities. If you feel like your doing too much, then take a break and evaluate your situation.

Try to do things in terms of their importance. You have to clean the living room, go to the supermarket, and wash the dishes. Go to the supermarket since this is the most important thing that needs done. Do the other two tasks later on. Determine what needs done right now and do those particular tasks in order of importance.

Take advantage of the help that is available around you. If possible, talk to a professional who can help you manage your fears and anxieties. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. By talking to a professional, a person will be helping themselves in the long run because they will become better able to deal with their problems in the future. Managing your fears and anxieties takes practice. The more you practice, the better you will become.

Managing your family and career does not have to very stressful. Learn to budget your time and manage your tasks. Eventually, you will be able to balance your career and family. If you still have trouble, then talk to a professional who can give you additional advice.

Stan Popovich is the author of, A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear, an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com

Staying Safe on Your Dates

photo credit: DanieVDM

With so many people meeting online or in bars, dating can take a dangerous turn before you realize what’s happening. Being along with a stranger isn’t the best idea for your safety.
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When Your Worries Overwhelm You While Being In A Relationship

What do you do when your worries and anxieties overwhelm you while your in a relationship? Here is a brief list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their worries and anxieties while they are in a serious relationship.
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Girls Just Want to Have Fun-3

Whew! I can’t remember when was the last time I had a REAL vacation like this!!

Wait, no, it was in 2006, when I went to Denver.

Pardon me, I did went to the Dominican Republic in December, but it was plainly more a business trip concocted with running all over, never resting, never actually having fun for more than a couple of hours at a time, jet lag, family crusading, and always worrying about the future.

I admit that I have been worried for the first 48 hours of my trip, worried if I’ll make it back alive and be with my beloved husband (who was in Austin, by the way, with the people at work too, hows that for an irony!), how will my family take it, if I’ll get my passport back on time, if I’ll have enough money to spend, if my plants will die before I get back…

Going to Washington, D.C. and seeing stuff one only sees in the movies, books or news — Like the White House, the Washington monument, the Lincoln monument, the Arlington Cemetery, JFK & Jackie O tombs, old, old buildings, and a million other things I will post here in pictures soon, makes me realize once again… There is only one life… and you have to live it at it’s maximun exempt as much as you can.

My great friend, Jenny, is one of the most realistic people I’ve met. Meaning she always gives her honest opinion to me about everything.

Then she says I’m a control freak, and I think she’s right.

I also think it is Ok being paranoid and a bit of a control freak… when that helps organize your trip, find the right train or bus, keep documents and money with you, have a good water supply near you to avoid dehydration, and a mini first aid kit near you in case of emergencies. However, it is also good to let go and have your eyes, your mind and your soul fill up with the things that you don’t see every day.

People, people, people! Black, White, chinese, hindi, dominican, salvadorian, spanish, mexican, women, men, old, young, punks, emos, hippies, drag queens, cristians, jews, musulmans, buddists, non believers, poor, rich, middle class… it is a little bit of everything in this cluster of streets, trains, buildings, cars and more cars that is New York.

My sight is not wide enough to absorb all the grandeur of my surroundings.

I stop for a second and I fix my eyes in the Empire State Building, which tonight has red, blue, and white lights adorning it. The Moon is in the background.

I exhale and think no more of money, war, diseases, hate, sadness, school, tests, work, sleep, Olympics, food…

I just stare into the lights of the night and realize that… it’s all worth it.

To Be Continued..

Sex and Intimacy – When and How to Move Things Along

photo credit: markhillary

Inside every adult male is their sex-crazed adolescent self still trying to push the limits. In his mind, there is a magic number of dates after which you automatically have sex. He may think it’s two or three dates or maybe two or three hours into the first date. Read more

Girls Just Want to Have Fun: Part 2

Well, after months of trying not to think about it; weeks when I just couldn’t procrastinate anymore; nights of non sleep; and anxious about the alarm not beeping on the 13th; I arrived to the Airport. My husband drove me there and we parted with a kiss… He will be OK. He did all his laundry and I made him a big chili pot. I also put notes all over the house to remember him to eat, water the plants, go to his drs. appointment, and pick me up on the 20th. (Seriously!)

Plane # 1 was on time; I met a lady from Dublin who talked me into how she came to the USA to work for a year and ended up marrying her husband who was from Austin. Now they live 6 months of the year in each country and their daughters are going to college in Dallas and Lubbock.

This has been going for more than twenty years now and it actually gave me some good prospects : ).

Plane # 2 was delayed and I noticed how the war for the top benches to put the carry-on baggage is never ending. I was lucky to jump out of the plane anyway as soon as we landed and run to get plane # 3. Those seats were making my but literally square by the time they finally announced we were preparing to land in New Jersey!

The New York - Manhattan line was really a sight I’ve never seen before and suddenly all the anxiety and preparing for this journey was worth it, if not gone completely. All I can say is I am happy I get to do this now… because for what I hear around, unless one is carelessly rich and duty-free one doesn’t really get the chance to hop on a plane for a week of fun… and since Fall is almost here, I better squeeze the fun as much as I can!

My friend Jenny, Master of Relaxing under the most stressful situations and whom I haven’t seen in years, picked me up and we drove for a million tangled streets filled with the cutest scrunched houses and… scrunched cars. Apparently it is a miracle if you find a free parking spot on the wee hours here.

But not only did we; she took me to a Dominican little restaurant and I had the best meal in months: dominican-style fried chicken, tostones, white rice, mofongo, and a beautiful piece of arepa that I am saving for today’s breakfast.

I forgot, I also had a country club merengue soda, bottled in New Jersey. It was delightful.

Then we took some pictures with the Manhattan skyline as a background. I can’t wait to develop them!

We arrived to her house, I unpacked and tried to sleep…

Today: Dominican Embassy to Renew Passport, New York, NY.

Tomorrow and Saturday: Washington, D.C.

To Be Continued…

Meeting Men With the Same Values as You

Ask a couple who has been married for 25 or 50 years what keeps their relationship alive and they usually tell you that they have important things in common. It may be animal magnetism that draws your attention to a man, but it’s not enough to keep you together over the decades. Read more

Managing Your Self -Confidence and Fears While In A Relationship

Some people have a difficult time in managing their fears and self-confidence while being in a relationship. In addition, a person’s self esteem and self-confidence can also suffer. As a result, here is a list of techniques a person can use to help manage their fears and self-confidence while maintaining a relationship.

Remember that practice makes perfect. Whenever it comes to dealing with your anxieties or any other task; practice, patience, and persistence is the name of the game. If you don’t get the desired results the first time around, then keep trying until you do get the results. Through practice, you will become better at the task at hand and your self-confidence will increase. This also applies to managing your anxieties.

In every anxiety-related situation you experience, begin to learn what works, what doesn’t work, and what you need to improve on in managing your fears and anxieties. For instance, you have a lot of anxiety and you decide to take a walk to help you feel better. The next time you feel anxious you can remind yourself that you got through it the last time by taking a walk. This will give you the confidence to manage your anxiety the next time around.

Sometimes, we can get anxious over a task that we will have to perform in the near future. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship volleyball game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that you’re playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Self-Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation and increase your self-confidence.

Don’t forget to Pray and ask God for help. A person can only do so much. Asking God for help can give us additional resources to help manage our fears and self-confidence. It is not always easy, however God is in control and he will help you if you ask him.

Write down on a list everything that you are thankful for. Do not take anything for granted. The next time you feel down, take out your list and review everything that you have listed. This is a great way to remind us of what we have.

As a layman, I realize it can be difficult to manage our anxieties and self-esteem. If you have trouble then talk to a professional who can help you manage your fears, anxieties, and self esteem. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. In the meantime, remember to take it one day at a time.

Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear” an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com

Looking for Love Online – Buyer Beware

When you ask a friend about where she met her new guy and she says, “at an Online Dating site,” are you stunned? Or are you comfortable with the fact that online matchmaking is the new pickup scene for singles? Read more

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