Mommisms
Sometimes mommisms are simply flippant replies to your children’s endless shennanigans, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that your kids have heard them a million times.
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The Feelings Are All The Same
One of the most valuable things I’ve learned since my daughter’s diagnosis is that regardless of what the disability is, the feelings are all the same. The more families I meet that have a child with a disability, the more I realize how much we have in common when it comes to our emotions—emotions that surround the diagnosis and how it affects the family as a whole.
I’m sure you’ve heard that the stages we go through mimic the stages of grief—we are grieving the loss of the healthy child we imagined when we learned of the pregnancy. The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Denial is refusing to believe that this is actually happening to you, your life; your child.
Anger is when you are mad at the disability or disease itself; you are angry that you have little or no control over it.
Bargaining is when you try to bargain with yourself or your higher power—you try to make a deal to have your child be without this ailment.
Depression is obviously when you are very sad about your child’s condition and find it hard to think of anything positive. You constantly focus on the negatives of how the disability is affecting you and your entire family. I can go on forever about this stage because I am very familiar with it!
Then, finally the best stage of all is acceptance. Some of us get to this stage rather quickly; some of us never get there at all. Accepting your child’s condition settles in, and it is only then that you can truly help your child reach his or her potential. It is when you have healed yourself inside enough to get on with your life and you are able to focus on all the wonderful things your child is capable of doing, instead of concentrating on the things he can’t.
I’ve learned that men and women go through these stages in many different ways. Many men stay in the anger stage for a very long time because being angry is the only way many of them know how to cope with something beyond their control. Anger becomes their most prevalent defense mechanism. I have also learned that since women are such emotional beings, it is very easy and comfortable for us to remain in the depression stage. We cry easier than men, and we are very good at dwelling on things—it’s just our nature!
The most frustrating thing about going through these stages is that without any warning or notice, you can slip in and out of any stage at any time. Maybe a certain sound or smell reminds you of the early days of your child’s disorder or a physician mentions something about the initial trauma or diagnosis and you revert back to depression.
You need to know that you are not alone and other parents of children with disabilities are your best resources. People who have been where you are and where you are about to go…
Realizing it is normal for you to go through the stages of grief is crucial in getting to the acceptance stage and staying there. I am passionate about this subject because I got stuck in the depression stage and I wish there would have been someone there to tell me it would be OK. Trust me, whatever stage you’re in or about to go through, you will survive and go on. And that wonderful, beautiful, special child will help you get through it and teach you many things about life along the way.
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Overcoming Rejection With The Lord’s help
God Has The Answer To Rejection
In Mark 1:1-6 “Jesus left there and went to his home town, accompanied by his disciples. When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him where amazed. Where did this man get these things? , they asked. What’s this wisdom that has given him, that he even does miracles! Isn’t this Mary’s son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren’t his sisters here with us? And they took offense at him. Jesus said, to them, Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor. He could not do any miracles there; except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their lack of faith.” – this scripture shows Jesus being rejected. Jesus faced rejection and continued with God’s plan for his life.
I can identify with this type of rejection and face it daily-but I follow Jesus example by continuing doing the work God has called me to do. In this article-I hope to give insight on how to overcome rejection and follow God’s plan for your life. Just as Jesus did-I will not try to justify what I am doing, get upset or fall into the trap of taking responsibility for other people’s feelings.
There are a few things that must be done to overcome the feeling and hurt of rejection. First, you must see the need to overcome being rejected. Matthew 13:20-21 “The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But, since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away”. (NIV) This scripture shows if you do not overcome rejection-God’s word will not take root and the person will eventually fall away. The next step would be to realize who you are and what you have in Jesus. Jesus knew who he was and where he was going. John 1:12-13 “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God-children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” (NIV) If you focus on the fact you are a child of God-then there will be no time to focus on rejection.
You must be on fire for the Lord and focused on what the Lord has called you to do. The only type of rejection that should have an effect on your life is if you turn your back on the Lord and you hear: “Depart from me-I never knew you.”
Many pastors and Christians shrink back at any kind of opposition, gossip or set-back. This was not God’s plan-when you accept Jesus into your heart-you have made a lifetime commitment for living for and serving the Lord. The day I received my ordination certificate-I understood and accepted the call to preach the word of the Lord-until the Lord calls me home. The one thing I have realized is that God can overcome gossip, hatred, jealously, and evil doers. I do not worry about these things-someone will give an account on judgment day for words spoken. The Lord will help you overcome rejection. Just pray for those who persecute you. Then, focus on what the Lord has planned for you. God will provide a way! Remember: God has a plan for you! Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
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Summer Vacations
Summer vacations are the highlight of the summer. From the minute school lets out, kids are ready to go and anxious to see the newest destination. Not to be singled out, but military kids have a bit of an advantage; the opportunity to travel the country or the world, not only during summer but all year long. One of our trips was in December 1999; my husband was being transferred from Texas to New Jersey. After spending a couple weeks packing and preparing our girls for yet another new school we set out for our trip. We would take 3 days for the trip, taking our time and enjoying the drive across the country. At the time our girls were 10, 9 and 6; old enough to appreciate the journey and gather memories along the way. We had 2 cars, my husband and I each drove dividing the girls between us at each stop. We traveled through Louisiana, passing through the Bayou the girls were mesmerized by the water and wondered where the alligators were. (I guess they do listen in school) As we got into Alabama, we stopped at a rest stop on the highway; inside they had a small museum showing the history of the state. On the wall was a large picture of the country group Alabama, you could see the pride in their faces. From Alabama the trip continued north, though not many more stops were made. The weather was not cooperating and we wanted to make up time. I guess the story here is, though we have driven half across the country several times, flown to other places and seen many sites, you can make memorable vacations even if you are only minutes from home.
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You Are Made In God’s Image
Made In God’s Image
In today’s society-tattoos and body piercing are common sites. Personally, I believe they are a way for Satan to mock what God has created. Tattoos and body piercing are not from the Lord. The Lord clearly states this in: Leviticus 19:28 “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves, I am the Lord.” (NIV) In I Corinthians 3:16 “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred and you are the temple.” (NIV) – The scripture reminds us that the body is God’s temple and should be treated with honor and respect.
If you are considering body piercing or getting a tattoo – ask yourself: “Would this be pleasing to the Lord?” The answer would be No! Why not take the money you would spend on a tattoo or piercing and use it for something that would glorify God. You may ask about those who have a tattoo or piecing and they received it before they knew the Lord. Tattoos can be removed and body piercing will disappear if object is removed. In some cases – it may be impossible or too expensive to remove the tattoos. So, the person who made the choice to have a tattoo – may carry that with them for the rest of their life. Remember, the Lord looks at the condition inside the heart – not the outward appearance.
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What Happens At Chuck E. Cheese Stays There
Outside of the happiest place on earth (also run by a rodent), Chuck E. Cheese rules.
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How to Make a Hawaiian Lei
How to Make a Hawaiian Lei
A great idea to beat the summer heat is to throw a tropical Hawaiian themed party. Every guest at your summer time fun fest will need one of these beautiful flowered lei’s. A fun and creative project for everyone young and old.
Supplies
Thick multi-colored construction paper or cardstock
Drinking straws
Yarn
Scissors
Paint, markers, glitter
Directions
The first step in this creative project is to draw out several different size flowers on your choice of paper. With a parents help, cut out each flower making sure to punch a small hole in the center of each one as this is where you will thread the yarn. The next step calls for imagination. Color and decorate your flowers with paint, markers, crayons, glitter, or even glue on some shiny beads. After your flowers are completely decorated put them aside and use the scissors to cut your drinking straws into one and a half inch lengths. One great thing about this craft is each straw section does not have to be perfect. When all your straw pieces are cut and ready, tie a thick knot at the end of a two foot long section of yarn. Thread a small flower onto the yarn pushing it all the way to the knot. Next, thread a section of straw. It’s that easy. Continue threading each flower and straw section until your lei is complete. Finally, tie each end of the yarn together with a nice strong knot.
There you have it an easy, creative and beautiful flowered lei. The perfect colorful addition to bring funky fun and whimsy to any festive summer party in the backyard or at the pool.
Riding In On a Dinosaur
During a recent visit, my kids asked their sprightly Grammy how old she was. “Oh kids,” she answered coyly, “I rode in on the dinosaurs.”
Although I hate to admit that I’m much like my mother-in-law, I immediately realized that she had just unearthed some common ground! I, too, ride a dinosaur every day!
God�s Sense of Humor
When my husband and I awaited the arrival of our children, we never realized that we had within our power the ability to specify certain things for our kids - like common sense. We thought it would be too much to ask God for anything but ten fingers and ten toes….
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Making Room for Baby
In many instances, as soon as the mom-to-be finds out she is pregnant, she wants to go look at baby beds, bedding, color schemes and themes. It’s a fun and exciting time.
Making that special purchase takes time, effort, and of course, money. It’s a personal choice that may be guided by what others are doing and usually will include what the new mom-to-be remembers having in her own life or in the lives of others near and dear to her heart.
Here are some tips on choosing quality but lasting items for your new baby:
#1. Choose your baby bedding first. You can coordinate the entire room around these colors and themes.
#2. Try to find soft but not thin bedding. Make sure the sheets are fitted snugly over the mattress.
#3. Buy quilts, comforters and pillows – but don’t use them for now. You can buy them, just don’t use them until baby is older. These have been identified as a culprit in SID (Sudden Infant Deaths). Some moms will purchase these items and take them out of the crib each night or each time the baby sleeps in the bed.
#4. Ask for referrals. Talk with your friends who already have been through this process. They can offer valid information and perhaps save costly mistakes on bedding and furniture.
#5. Begin your research early. If you wait until the last minute to begin comparing prices, styles and reputations of the company, you may be forced into a rushed purchase and regret it later.
However, making the experience fun, safe, cost-effective and healthy is the wisest way to go – not to mention the attributes of exactly how long the furniture and bedding will last.
For example, some cribs turn into a toddler bed with a turn of the old screw driver. A chest of drawers goes from having a changing table on top to adding an additional space for toddler “stuff” - and some convert into an additional drawer or cubby hole for books.
There are many other things to take into consideration before making your final decision. Allowing yourself time to change your mind because you have fallen in love with something else is always a good plan.
Whatever you choose, be sure to wash and wipe everything down before introducing the baby to the new environment. A good rule of the thumb is to use cleaning and laundry products at least at half strength by adding water.
Babies have sensitive skin and the last thing they need is to have to endure strong odors from cleaning products. Most dermatologists recommend that we use half of the regular amount of washing and softening products mixed with water. This dilutes the products and is much better for an infant’s skin and is ideal for any one of any age with sensitive skin.
The same goes for cleaning products – weaken it with water. It still does an effective job but is less hazardous to baby.
Make your shopping experience happy, safe and healthy right from the start for your new bundle of joy.
<©2006 Jodie Lynn
Fashion skips a generation
My mother was the best-dressed mom on my block if not on the entire Eastside of El Paso. I, on the other hand, would have run around in pjs every day if I’d had a choice. Adulthood has not impacted this tendency one stitch.
But a highly evolved fashion sense arrived by the Saks-load in Mireya. Mireya, our three-year-old, dresses up all the time. Like really dressy. Like never-pants-only-dresses-with-lots-of-lace-or-tafetta-or-pleats-or-velvet dressy.
God’s Angelic Protection For Little Ones
Protection
James 5:13-16
James 5:15 “And the prayer in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven”.
As a child my brother was a little stinker. One day he was on the front porch and he couldn’t get the door open. So, he yelled for mom and she was on her way to open the door. Before, she could get there – my four year old brother threw his fist through the window. Mom was at the door – but could do nothing to prevent the accident.
It all happened so fast – the sound of breaking glass and my brother’s blood curdling scream! Mom quickly picked him up and wrapped his arm in a towel. Of course, she quickly got him to the emergency room. He had to have had a guardian angel – the glass had cut out a chunk of skin above the artery – but did no damage to the artery. The doctor just kept telling mom how lucky he was. The arm was bandaged and no permanent damage was done.
The Lord sends angels to protect the little ones. Prayer changes things. My grandmother would kneel down by her bed every night and pray for the grandchildren. God certainly answered her prayer of protection that day.
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Weathering the Storm
Last week I had a horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad day. One of my worst days as a mom. I took my daughter to her feeding therapy this morning and she was doing great.
When it was time to clean up and go, she had a meltdown. A HUGE meltdown. I warned her five minutes before we stopped, but that didn’t work. I tried distracting her, bribing her, walking away, being patient, yada, yada, yada. Nothing was working. So I warned her again that if she didn’t get up and walk out all by herself like a big girl, I would carry her out screaming and yelling. And that’s just what she did ~ SCREAM AND YELL.
She dropped to the floor a couple times and pretended to fall asleep. When she wouldn’t get up, I picked her up. When she started slipping out of my arms, I put her down and she flopped on the floor. She was making such a scene that people started coming up to me and asking if I needed help. All I wanted to do was get out of there and hide. She was kicking and screaming and flailing her arms. This went on for the entire walk to the car, which went through a quiet hallway IN A HOSPITAL and then through the parking garage.
When we finally got to the car, I pretty much threw her in and shut the door. I got in the front seat and cried my eyes out. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I just wanted to disappear. I cried and yelled ~ cried and yelled some more. She refused to get in her car seat so I waited, then yelled, waited and yelled some more. Then I got out of the car and walked around the back to force her in, but she was already on her way in the seat. I buckled her up, got back in the car, and drove away as fast as I could.
I called my husband so he could distract me from crying but he didn’t answer. I turned the radio up so I couldn’t hear J screaming and crying. She was trying to wiggle herself out of the car seat. All I could think to myself was, "this is crazy, this is not normal. normal kids don’t act like this." I started to cry again and she heard me sobbing. It made her cry harder. I drove as fast as I could and finally got home. I didn’t say a word, helped her out of the car and opened the front door. She walked in and laid down on the floor. I took her shoes off, picked her up and brought her into her room. Changed her diaper really quick, pulled the blanket over her, put on some soft music and walked out without saying a word. I heard her whimper as I walked away, but I just couldn’t talk. Instead, I curled up into a ball on the couch and cried. I actually sobbed! I felt, I FEEL, so alone in this. No one gets it. I was embarrassed, angry, sad, confused, frustrated. I literally wanted to throw her across the room. Why does it always have to be so difficult?
Enjoy the Journey
“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Ps. 118:24
“Yes, Lord, I’m glad for this day. I’m glad I can get so many things done today, ” I pray as I drive the children to the library. Three stops with four children in less than an hour. I smile. I’m making good time.
As a “Type A” personality, I tend to focus on the tasks I have to do with completion in mind. I enjoy marking lines through the items on my to-do list, the more the better. I have projects going in every direction and others I want to start.
I believe God wants us to be hard-working, productive people, but He also wants us step back and take time to praise Him for the moment, to enjoy the time we are in, to “enjoy the journey.” I read those words again not long ago and thought, How can I enjoy the journey when I’ve got so much to do?
Sure, the lists are still there, yet instead of focusing on the end result, we need to enjoy the process, including the process of raising our children. Do we have children just to say we got them successfully through toddlerhood, childhood, and adolescence? Or do we have children to hold them, love them, laugh with them, cry with them, experience life with them? Instead of becoming frustrated when the two-year-old pours himself a bowl of cereal all over the floor, step back and smile and praise him for his efforts. Instead of yelling at siblings for arguing, take a breath and thank the Lord for the opportunity to teach them the Golden Rule. This is the day God has given us, this is the day we have with our children; let us remember to enjoy them!
Halloween As A Witnessing Tool
Today Christian families are looking for ways to use Halloween as a witnessing tool. In my personal opinion Halloween means nothing unless you acknowledge it in some way. Children are only young once and so it is important for them to have positive memories. I have some wonderful memories of the family time spent on Halloween night and Trick or Treating. I dressed up as various characters and the Lord still called me to be a pastor and Christian writer. The important thing is for the child to realize the difference between reality and fantasy. I do not believe Halloween has a harmful effect if the parents are setting a Godly example and living a good moral life. Children will be influenced by what they live with and see each day-not what they dress up as one night a year.
As a pastor I would like to suggest some Halloween alternatives. If you choose to let your child go trick or treating-then encourage the child to dress up as a Biblical Character. This would definitely be something unique and a great way to witness. Most people won’t be able to guess the character. Always accompany your child to the houses and know who you are allowing the children to take candy from. Always take a flashlight and follow other safety rules.
Alternative 1
Invite your children’s friends to a celebrate Jesus Party. Of course if you don’t have a suitable place at your home rent a community building. The Celebrate Jesus party will allow children to have a chance to learn about Jesus and share Jesus with others. First, you will need to secure a place for the party. Then, decide who will be invited and the time party will be held. At the churches celebrate Jesus party – encourage the children to dress up as a character from the Bible. Then, I would ask them to share something about the person from the Bible. Children love to dress up and this is a good way to teach them about Bible characters. The next step would be to plan activities. Games are fun for everyone. The game of telephone is fun and teaches how gossip can hurt people. Have children gather in a circle and tell the child next to you: “Jesus loves you” (whisper). The next child will whisper into the next child’s ear and so on-until it comes to the last child. When the last child hears the sentence-ask the child to share with everyone what was said. Unless, you have really good listeners the sentence will not be close to what was originally told. Have a short lesson about gossip and how it hurts others.
Plan refreshments-This can be as elaborate as a cook-out with hamburgers or hotdogs and a drink or as simple as cookies, fruit and a drink.
Here is an activity to promote sharing and showing God’s love.
Items Needed: Goldfish crackers, bowl, raisins, Ziploc bags and cereal. Give each child a sack with one individual ingredient (put in ziploc bags) .Then, talk about how good these items are to eat alone. Then talk about sharing and what would happen if all ingredients were mixed in a bowl together. Then, Have each child place their ingredients in the bowl. Then, give each child a taste of the mixture. Emphasize sharing Jesus with others. Share a bible story with the children. As the children prepare to leave give them a Celebrate Jesus treat bag. Inside the treat bag -put gospel tracts, candy or a toy-preferably Christian.
Alternative 2
Check with area nursing homes or churches. They may have alternative options available. The residents enjoy seeing the children come in and this is a very safe alternative. At Ring of Fire Evangelistic Ministry In Olney, IL on Halloween trick or treat night-the church doors are open to children in the community. Free hotdogs and drink are available and gospel tracts are handed out. A great way to witness to children and adults. This also provides an opportunity for children and adult volunteers to serve and witness for Jesus! This alternative gives children a safe place to trick or treat.
Alternative 3
Explain to your child (children) that trick/treaters will be coming to your door. This is going to be a time to witness for the Lord. Allow your child to hand out gospel tracks and scripture candy. Scripture candy can be purchased at Christian book stores. This is a great way to share Jesus with others and teach children about witnessing.
Christians need to make the most of every opportunity to spread the good news of Jesus. Having a Celebrate Jesus party is a great way to tell others about Jesus and give your child a great memory.
The New Kids in Town
Moving to a new town means meeting new people and getting the strangest looks.
When we lived in the Blue Mountains, walking down the road to the shops once meant greeting people as you walked by. Before we left, that all changed. People were moving further out from Sydney and surrounding suburbs and living in the Mountains. My husband and I felt, along with the local shop owners, that these people were bringing their “Sydney mentality” with them. You were considered lucky if they so much as looked you in the eye.
A Little Magic To Make Memories
WARNING: Moms, lock up those magic wands! You never know what they will turn your kids into….
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Patio Paver Art
Patio Paver Art
Summer is here and for most of us the cry of boredom has become an everyday song. How many of you out there have a garage, basement, or shed full of leftover paint? Well, here is a fun, inexpensive way to let our children become involved in making a colorful addition to any garden.
Supplies
Patio Pavers
Paint
Paintbrush
Spray Sealer
Directions
The first step is to find the size, shape, and color of the patio paver you wish to use. Leftover ones work great or you can purchase them for less than a dollar a piece at any home improvement or garden center. With a parents help, gather all the paint colors you have to choose from. Next, clean the blocks with water making sure to get all the dirt off before painting and makes sure to dry them as well. Now comes the fun part, decorate your patio paver with whatever the imagination creates. One idea is to use handprints; using your child’s handprint for this project gives us a lasting memory to cherish and share with them as they get older. Another great idea would be to paint flowers, bugs, stars, sun or moon, or a beautiful and memorable scene. After the paint has dried, preferably over night, have an adult spray the blocks with the sealer. When that has dried over night as well, it is now time to place them for display in a flower or rock garden. Another great idea is to use them for drink coasters depending on the size of the blocks you have chosen. Walkways, patios, or even hang them on the wall. This project also makes a great gift idea.
This project is great for outdoor fun and gives children a chance to let their creativity shine. Everyone will be amazed at all the pretty colors and mom will be happy for a chance to get rid of those extra cans of paint.
