Updating The Parental Curse
Why wait until the kids are grown and have children of their own for that parental curse to start working? Get even now!
Adventures in Twin Pregnancy
Anyone who’s been pregnant with twins or higher-order multiples knows it’s a very stressful time. They don’t call it a “high-risk” pregnancy without good reason! Medical professionals will run through a laundry list of potential complications that could arise. One of the most feared is premature labor. Twins usually arrive earlier than singleton babies, and sometimes it’s too early. Bed rest is a common prescription as doctors try to stave off the progression of labor. I was very fortunate to avoid this problem. In fact, my labor had to be induced at 39 weeks, and my twins were born at 7 lbs., 13 oz., and 6 lbs., 9 oz. I know that my case is rare, though. Many women go into labor much sooner when they’re carrying twins, putting their babies’ lives at risk.
Another problem that can pop up if you’re carrying identical twins is Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS). With this condition, the placenta may be shared unequally between the twins, leaving one baby with too small a share of the placenta to receive the necessary nutrients to develop normally. This baby will also suffer from little to no amniotic fluid. The other twin may become overloaded with blood, which puts a strain on this baby’s heart to the point that it may develop heart failure. This baby may also develop too much amniotic fluid. There is a 1 in 930 chance of having TTTS in pregnancy. Before TTTS could be diagnosed by ultrasound, less than 10 percent of twins with the condition survived. Now the odds of survival have greatly improved through medical intervention during pregnancy and after birth.
Because of the potential for these complications, most women who are pregnant with multiples are monitored very closely. I remember going through very thorough ultrasound exams every single month. I would lie on the table for hours as the technician measured this and that, and tried to extract some movement from each baby. I would study her expression intently, trying to decipher whether anything was wrong. “Was that a little frown?” “Is she spending too much time in that one spot?” “What does she see?” Hundreds of scary thoughts would run through my mind. Monitors were also hooked up to each baby, during which I was instructed to push a button every time I felt a movement. Again, I’d obsess over possible complications. “Am I not feeling enough movements?” “Was that a movement or not?” After one such ordeal, they told me that Baby A was experiencing lower-than-normal movement. “Well, he could have just been sleeping during the appointment . . .” they told me. Thankfully, all was well at the next appointment, so that must have been the case. But that didn’t stop me from worrying about it all month and being even more stressed at the next appointment.
The physical discomforts are also exaggerated in a twin pregnancy. My legs swelled up like redwood tree trunks, a condition I never experienced with my two singleton pregnancies. None of my shoes fit. At a certain point, I could barely find maternity clothes that fit because I was so huge! The doctor ran out of tape on his tape measure to go around my belly. I had to resort to wearing one pair of shoes (tennis shoes with a zipper that had to be left open) and slippers, and just a few maternity “tents” that I could barely squeeze over my belly. And I won’t even bother to describe the myriad stretch marks that now cross my still-flabby belly (a condition commonly known as “twin skin”). Getting in and out of the car, finding a comfortable position in which to sleep, and even getting myself off the couch were all Olympic sports.
A twin pregnancy is not for the faint of heart, but obviously the rewards are many when those two little babies arrive. During your twin pregnancy, try not to stress out too much (easier said than done, I know), and do take very good care of yourself! Listen to your doctor’s advice and try to enjoy your pregnancy. It will be over all too soon, and then you’ll have a new set of challenges to deal with!
When the Older Kids Get Less Attention
I sometimes feel guilty for having twins. Don’t get me wrong, I love my twins dearly, but to say that they’ve impacted the dynamics of our family would be the understatement of the year! I miss the days when I could go to the movies with my two older sons, or drop in on their school activities, or just browse leisurely with them at the bookstore. Thankfully, my older boys are mature enough not to blame the twins for the cessation of these activities, but I know they miss our spontaneous outings, too. I’m always so preoccupied with taking care of twin toddlers that I just don’t have as much spare time to spend with the older ones. When the twins were babies, there was always the problem of working around naptimes and feeding schedules. Now that they’re almost three, the obstacles are more behavioral. Twins this age just can’t sit still for a minute! I’m sure that as they get older, our entertainment options will increase, but my older boys are growing up (the eldest is almost 17!), and being able to do things together is getting more and more remote. I guess this is natural. After all, in the “old days,” families were much bigger, and older kids just became accustomed to making room for the younger ones. They knew they had to share their parents’ time and attention with the other kids. In our family, though, my older boys had me to themselves for 11 and 14 years, so it was a huge shock to learn that my time was no longer as available when the twins arrived. My older children are certainly more independent now, but it doesn’t mean they don’t still need my loving care. So, my resolution for 2007 is to try to carve out more time for my older children, and I hope you’ll follow my lead if you’re in the same situation. It’s a good lesson for the twins, too, to learn that they can’t be the center of attention all the time. All of our children, whether twins or singletons, are special! Make sure they know that.
Run After Him
My two-year-old enjoys reading The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown. We’ve had it in board book form since my oldest was little, and all of my children have enjoyed searching for the little bunny that’s hiding in the pages. Cute story, I often thought, until its timeless truth became real to me.
This fall, I’ve had to deal with a lot of anger issues with my son now ten years old. During one recent difficult conversation, he was angry about something and declared that he was going to run away. Tired and frustrated, I wanted to say, “Go ahead. Run away.” Although this would have been a natural response, I decided to react against my feelings, instead saying like the mother bunny, “I’ll come after you.”
“You won’t find me,” he said, still angry.
“I’ll find you,” I said.
“I’ll hide in the woods,” he replied.
“I’ll call the FBI,” I said.
“They won’t find me.”
“They’ll find you,” I answered. “And I’ll be there with them.”
Suddenly, his countenance changed. His face relaxed and his anger disappeared. He seemed relieved, relieved to know that I wouldn’t let him go, that I would search and search until I got him back, relieved to know that I valued him so much I would do whatever it took to find him. He felt safe and secure in the knowledge that he was precious and worthwhile to me. While his reaction surprised me, it shouldn’t have. After all, isn’t that the same kind of love that first brought us to Jesus?
Very Special Reindeer Food
Santa Handprint Tree Ornament
Santa Handprint Tree Ornament
The holidays are here and what better way to greet Santa than with his very own ornament on the tree.
Giving
Giving To The Lord
In today’s society people do not realize that everything in this world belongs to the Lord and so should be given back to the Lord with a cheerful unselfish heart. The Bible gives us direction as to how money should be given. Here are some scriptures about giving: Matthew 6:1-4 “Be careful not to do your acts of righteousness before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So, when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth; they have received their reward in full. But, when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”This scripture is about the heart. If you are truly giving from the heart-no-one including the Pastor will hear about how much you have given. You will simply give the gift to the correct person or place it in the offering and never mention it again. This is truly secret giving. Proverbs 28:27 “He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses.”This scripture is about giving to the poor. There will always be poor and the Lord expects those who have more to help them. 2 Corinthians 9:7 “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”This scripture points out that God wants a cheerful giver instead of someone who gives and then grumbles and complains. Matthew 6:24 “No one can serve two masters; Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.” This scripture points out God must come first in your life and you must trust him to provide for your needs. I Corinthians 16:2 “On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income, saving it up so that when I come no collections will have to be made.”This scripture points out that a sum of money should be set aside to give in the offering or sown as a seed in a ministry. Luke 21:1-4 “As he looked up, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. I tell you the truth, he said, this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”This scripture points out the importance of giving – no matter how small the amount may be. As the Christmas season approaches-people will be more in the mood to give. So, when you give keep these scriptures in mind and remember everything you have belongs to the Lord anyway!
Christmas Play
Gabriel Announces God’s Plans
This play is written to share the good news of Jesus’ birth.
Cast: Mary, Joseph, Gabriel (Angel), The Lord, Magi, Baby Jesus, Announcer
Scene 1: Announcement to Mary
Announcer: The Lord has called the angel – Gabriel to his throne room. Gabriel kneels in the Lord’s presence. The Lord gives Gabriel instructions on announcing his plans for Mary to give birth to Jesus.
Matthew 1:18 – 24 This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But, after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus because he will save his people from their sins.”
The Lord: Rise Gabriel - Go to Mary and announce she has been chosen to give birth to the Son of God – Jesus.
(Gabriel Departs)
Scene 2
Mary is kneeling and praying to the Lord
Gabriel: Good news – Mary you have been chosen to give birth to the Son of God.
Announcer: Luke 1:28 the angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you are who are highly favored. The Lord is with you”.
Mary: How will this be? I am a virgin?
Announcer: Luke 1:35 the angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of most high will overshadow you. So, the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God.”
Gabriel: The Holy Spirit will come upon you!
Mary: I am the Lord’s servant – may it happen as you have said.
Announcer: Luke 1:38 “I am the Lord’s servant”, Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said?” Then the angel left her.
Scene 3
Gabriel comes to Joseph in a dream
Gabriel: Joseph son of David – do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. You are to name him Jesus because he will save his people from their sins.
Announcer: When Joseph awoke he obeyed the angel of the Lord. He took Mary as his wife.
Scene 4
The Magi
Announcer: Matthew 2:1-2 After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the East came to Jerusalem and asked: “Where is the one who had been born King of the Jews? We saw his star in the East and have come to worship him.”
The magi continued to follow the star until they came to the place where Jesus was born.
Mary is sitting with baby Jesus. (Magi bow down to worship Jesus) The Magi open their treasures and give Jesus gifts of gold, incense and myrrh.
Announcer: Matthew 2:12 “And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.”
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Mother Jekyll and Mama Hyde
It was a rough night. I didn’t see them do it, but I’m sure my three-year old son, his one-year-old sister, and the dog got together and planned it, each taking an assigned shift to disturb my slumber. Somehow, they even convinced my husband, on a subliminal level, to elbow me in the temple just hard enough to wake me without injury.
Our dog began the covert operation. At 12:30 a.m. she started whining to be let out. We usually don’t hear from her until morning, but someone had to signal the troops! I let her out the patio door, and I went back to bed.
At 1:30 a.m. a scream came from our toddler’s crib. I flew down the hall, and woke up mid-step in time to turn the doorknob and comfort her back to sleep. I returned to bed.
After 3:00 a.m. (I was too tired to make out anything but the first digit on the alarm clock), I woke to a small head in my armpit with the attached little boy mumbling the remains of a dream. I steered him back to his bed.
Sometime before sunrise came the elbow to my right temple, which caused me to cry out a mild expletive of disbelief. (I should mention here that I am the lighter sleeper of our parenting duo, and my husband is a very involved partner and father when not in the fierce grip of disoriented sleep).
In my exhausted state, I could have sworn I heard a sarcastic chuckle from the sunshine creeping through my bedroom window a few hours later. I dragged myself out of bed, gave my husband an exhausted, barely-puckered kiss good-bye as he left for work and prepared the kids for the drive to pre-school. On the way, I revived myself with a tall glass of ice water (and by “ice-water” I mean a 32 oz. cola) and faced the sluggish day ahead.
I wish I could say this was a rare experience. I am often amazed at the small amount of sleep on which I manage to survive. No matter how much people warn you about those sleepless nights of parenthood, there is no way to physically or emotionally prepare for them. Most nights, I go to bed unsure how long it will be before I am awakened prematurely. I often wonder which personality I will feel like by morning—Mother Jekyll or Mama Hyde?
At the end of this particularly tiring day, I fell into bed, recapped the night before to my husband, and dreamed of a better night’s sleep. As I nuzzled my head into the pillow, I felt the frustration of caring for everyone all day and night melt away, and quickly drifted into slumber.
Suddenly, I was pulled away from the approaching rest to the sound of my husband’s concerned voice.
“So what do we need to do around here to get you more sleep?”
Fashion 101
A secret fear haunts me at the grocery market or local discount store. I shutter to even mention it! As I’m out with my children, running errands or picking up a birthday present for a party, I suspiciously scan my surroundings, investigate around clothing racks, and peer behind me. I know it will happen someday. They’ll get me! All I can do is pray to avoid being the target of a makeover show looking to ambush some poor woman stuck in a comfortable-clothing rut.
It’s not that I don’t like to dress nice, but it hurts to throw away good clothes when they get stained from sticky fingers. I’d rather wear a cheap t-shirt and toss it without guilt when needed, than buy an endless supply of soon to be destroyed clothing.
I blame it on my stage of life. Since having children, the desire to look “cute” has been substituted for the need to feel “clean.” No matter what the makeover shows say, comfort IS key when you are constantly caring for children. What is a person supposed to wear when they spend each day as a personal napkin and human jungle gym?
I’ve had it with feeling like a fashion inferior. Forget the so-called style experts! It’s time to embrace a new fashion philosophy. Personal style is the key, and my eighteen-month-old daughter understands that perfectly. You won’t find her flipping through magazines for the latest Baby Gap advertisement. She has a style all her own, and it works.
For example, the other day as we dressed for church, she decided her red velvet dress with the embellished belt buckle would look best with her white and purple sneakers. An interesting choice, considering she was wearing her light blue sweat suit only an hour before with her black, patton leather, ankle strap dress shoes. Sure, it’s gutsy, but I see what she’s trying to say. Be bold! Be unique! I don’t need a stylish, head-to-toe outfit–just a little something special that makes me memorable.
After eating breakfast this morning, we prepare for our usual trip to the gym. She picks out her Halloween shirt with the girly skull and crossbones, and carefully pairs them with her silver dress-up shoes, with lavender fur across the strap. A refreshing combination!
I dress in my regular workout clothes and inspect my make-up free, ponytail wearing reflection in the mirror. Something is missing. What will pull together my black sweat pants, white t-shirt and athletic shoes?
I nod with satisfaction. Fire engine red lipstick!
The perfect outfit is born.
An Inspiring New Book for Families with Multiples
I’m pleased to announce the publication of my new book, Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons! Published in conjunction with TWINS magazine, this book is a compilation of inspiring stories written by parents and other family members about the joys and challenges of raising multiples. These true tales reflect a variety of topics, such as the special bond between multiples, typical crazy days in the life of a family with twins, challenges encountered in pregnancy or childhood, humorous situations created by multiples, adopting twins, and much more. If you’re the parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or even just a friend of 
twins or triplets, you’ll love these heart-warming and encouraging stories. Twice the Love also makes a great gift for those who are expecting or raising multiples!
CHAPTER TITLES
- A Day in the Life . . .
- Reflections on Parenting
- Family Ties
- Treasured Moments
- Trials and Triumphs
- Becoming a Family
- A Special Bond
- Mischievous Multiples
The cartoon artistry of the talented John M. Byrne from London, England, is also featured.
PRAISE FOR TWICE THE LOVE
“Having just had identical twin boys, I can promise you, you need all the help you can get. This book helped me realize we were not alone . . . Enjoy it!”
– Kenny Rogers
award-winning recording artist
“‘Twice the work, half the sleep’ says one mother of twins in this wonderful and entertaining book. As a mother of eighteen-month-old twin boys, I couldn’t agree more! Susan Heim has compiled the most entertaining stories of the good, the bad and the chaotic from parents of twins. The stories are laugh-out-loud funny, inspiring and right on the money.”
– Soledad O’Brien
CNN Anchor
“This is a delight. I couldn’t stop smiling.”
– Adrienne Barbeau
actress/author and mother of twins
Time Makes You Bolder
“It’s as if God turns off the censor center of the brain as we get older. Younger people have to make a conscious decision to flaunt social norms, but it just comes naturally to older people. Time makes you bolder.”
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Christmas Poem Soldiers
This poem was e-mailed to me and I hope those reading it will be led to do something special for a soldier or family of a soldier this Christmas.
A Different Christmas Poem
The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn’t loud, and it wasn’t too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn’t quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
“What are you doing?” I asked without fear,
“Come in this moment, it’s freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!”
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire’s light
Then he sighed and he said “Its really all right,
I’m out here by choice. I’m here every night.” “It’s my duty to stand at
the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I’m proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ‘Pearl on a day in December,”
Then he sighed, “That’s a Christmas ‘Gram always remembers.”
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ‘Nam’,
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I’ve not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he’s sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue… an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall.”
“So go back inside,” he said, “harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I’ll be all right.”
“But isn’t there something I can do, at the least,
“Give you money,” I asked, “or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you’ve done,
For being away from your wife and your son.”
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
“Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we’re gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.”
(c)Copyright December 7, 2000 by Michael Marks
Author’s Note: A Soldier’s Christmas was the first in this series of patriotic writings, drafted on Pearl Harbor Day 2000 when in the wake of the 2000 Presidential Election our nation saw the right of US Armed Forces personnel openly questioned and debated. I felt it unconscionable that at the onset of the Christmas season, those serving to defend our nation would hear anything but our love and support. It is our challenge to stand for their rights at home while they stand for our lives and safety overseas. This poem went out and quickly spread around the world in emails, letters, magazines. I received letters from Marines in Bosnia, soldiers in Okinawa, from a submariner who xeroxed a copy for everyone on his sub. Moms wrote, dads, brothers and sisters. I have saved and cherish every letter and set out to continue writing throughout the year.
It Depends On What You Mean By ‘Clean’
Busy moms know there’s a big fuzzy gray area when it comes to housecleaning standards.
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Twins Are a Blessing!
Have you ever had someone say to you enviously, “I always wanted to have twins”? After a long day of chasing after your own, your first inclination was probably to retort, “Are you nuts?” But after solemn reflection, you realize how lucky you truly are. Here are some reasons to count your blessings that you have twins!
1) You got two kids for the price of one pregnancy!
2) You get double the hugs when you’re feeling down.
3) Your multiples can share the same clothes and toys.
4) They have a built-in playmate.
5) As supermodel Niki Taylor noted in my upcoming book It’s Twins: “One of the coolest parts about being a mom of twin boys is that I have an escort for each arm.”
6) You become a master at multi-tasking. (Haven’t you ever changed a diaper with one hand while spooning some applesauce into a hungry little mouth with the other?)
7) You learn how to thrive on a very flexible schedule!
You learn to let go of perfectionism.
9) Your twins learn how to take turns sooner than other kids.
10) You’re the parent of a very special, unique and beautiful family!
Adult-Onset ADD
“Come on missy, quit wasting time goofing around on Google and IM’ing your buddies!” a stern voice bellows across the kitchen. “Put down your cell phone, stop staring at the television and start paying attention to your assignment!” it scolds.
“Mom!” my daughter continues, “You know you’ve got a column to write and it’s due tomorrow!”
Twins and “Disputed Memories”
I just read a fascinating article in the November/December 2006 issue of TWINS magazine that described a phenomenon among twins that I had never heard of before! It described how some twins may share a memory of a particular event, but disagree about who actually experienced it. For instance, twin sisters may remember a visit to the park during which one of them suffered an accident that caused a painful injury, but both may insist that she was the injured party! This fairly common occurrence has been labeled a “disputed memory.” Scientists aren’t really sure why this happens more frequently with twins than with other siblings. Could it be that twins so closely define themselves in terms of each other that it’s as if the events that happen to one feel as if they happen to the other? Twins also seem to have a heightened degree of “sensitivity” in terms of each other’s pain, so perhaps this causes a “transference” of sorts when a particular trauma occurs. Of course, if a parent or another person was present when an event took place, they can usually clear up the mystery as to who actually experienced it, but if there were no witnesses, the memory may always be in dispute. Phenomena like “disputed memories” hold interesting implications for the rest of us. If twins adapt their sibling’s memory as their own, is it possible that we may have adopted a memory from someone else, too? Perhaps you “remember” losing a race during your childhood, but it really happened to your best friend! If you’re no longer in contact with this person, you may never find out that your memory is faulty. Twins’ “disputed memories” add just one more complication to the study of the accuracy of our memories.
Mischievous Multiples
We’ve all heard the expression “double trouble,” and there’s a reason for it—it’s true! It seems that all parents of twins say their children need to be watched like hawks, particularly in the toddler and preschool years. When I was collecting stories for my book, Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons (with TWINS magazine), I got so many tales about twins getting into trouble that I had to split the stories into two chapters, “Mischievous Multiples” and “A Day in the Life . . .” The stories were amusing to me as an outsider, but I’m sure these incidents had their parents pulling their hair out!
I raised two singletons before having my twins, so I’ve been able to compare both experiences. Multiples are definitely tougher. They figure things out together. They fight with each other. They get on each other’s nerves (most likely from so much togetherness). They imitate each other, so if one is being naughty, soon they’re both getting into trouble! They compete for my attention. They give each other ideas. It’s just one thing after another…! Whenever my husband and I split up the twins—perhaps he’ll take one to the store with him while I stay home with the other—we’re always amazed at how easy it is with just one child. The twins actually listen to us; we don’t worry about them getting into things; they’re calm. But get them back together, and it’s chaos again!
My husband’s brother and wife were visiting recently, and they brought their nineteen-month-old son with them. “I don’t know how you do it,” my sister-in-law told me. “It takes two of us just to take care of Charlie.” And this kid was about as mellow as elevator music! He played quietly with his toys. He didn’t yell “No!” when his parents told him to do something. He rarely cried. My husband and I wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves if we had just one child. Twins take every minute of our time!
Someday, I’m sure we’ll look back on these days and laugh at our twins’ antics. I’ll write up the stories, and they’ll hopefully amuse people in another book! But in the meantime, we’re just hanging on for dear life as we ride the roller coaster called “raising twins”!
The Hurrier I Go, The Behinder I Get
The more Mom tries to do, the more there is to do. It’s time for a chill pill.
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What the Picture Doesn’t Show You
When I received the acceptance from Mommies Magazine to be an online columnist, I was thrilled and quickly started typing up ideas at my computer. I completed every request to get the column up on the web, except one thing: a picture of myself. I wasn’t trying to stall, I just didn’t have the time to take a picture, or rarely looked “presentable” for a photograph.Finally, I took charge! One day, as my youngest napped, I prepared for my personal photo shoot. I put on make up, fixed my hair a bit, and changed into my favorite top (which didn’t even make it into the picture). Being the only adult in the house at the time, I took the picture myself.
Even though he picture shows a content mother, smiling and happy (and I am), the following list shows the background story–my story–everyday.
Top 10 Things the Picture Doesn’t Show You:
10. Blue’s Clues was on in the background.
9. From the knee down, my jeans were covered in sand and dirt from playing at the park a few hours earlier.
8. I only curled the front of my hair. The back of my hair had a giant kink from wearing a ponytail.
7. I was wearing athletic shoes I bought from the Men’s department so they would fit the orthotics I need to wear when possible (try building a feminine outfit around that!).
6. I had three goldfish crackers in my jeans pocket. I picked them up off the bathroom floor so my toddler wouldn’t eat them.
5. The above-mentioned toddler (who woke up before I could take the picture) was hugging my left knee, banging her head against my leg, and laughing hysterically
4. My bathroom shower curtain was the photo background. Since I took the picture myself, I relied on the reflection of the LCD screen in the bathroom mirror to know I was in the shot.
3. I didn’t get to view the pictures until later, because my children started fighting over the camera, and I had to put it out of reach.
2. After the picture, I changed back into my t-shirt and put my hair up into a ponytail again.
And the #1 thing the picture doesn’t show (and my personal favorite):
1. I had toothpaste on my shoulder, and I still have no idea how it got there.
University Challenge
Having undergone a tree change meant not only a change of surroundings, but a way of life; which is why I decided to take up the challenge of going to University.
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Don’t Forget Unsung Heroes During the Holidays!
It was pouring down rain and my regular ride to school did not show up. Like many high school students, I car-pooled with other like-minded friends. My parents had already left for work and there was no one else to call.
Beginning to literally sob, I didn’t even notice the car when it pulled up to the curb. “Hey, do you need a ride to school,” asked the lady with the funny looking hat and neatly placed hairnet.
Lazy, Thy Name Is Housewife
If it can be mangled, burned, shrunken or torched, I can do that. I am a housewife!
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Do Your Twins Fight a Lot?
If your multiples are anything like mine, they’re constantly at each other’s throats! It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even leave the room to put in a load of laundry without worrying that one will hurt the other. I believe that twins are especially prone to fighting because they spend so much time together. Kids of different ages might spend time apart in different classes or activities, or out with friends, but children of the same age are thrown together more often. If you and your spouse never got a break from each other, wouldn’t you be at war, too? Familiarity breeds contempt. Therefore, some strategies are needed to ward off the “attacks”:
Distraction: When the fists start flying, it’s time to divert their attention. Bring out the box of Legos or Barbies. (You should always keep some toys tucked away for occasions such as this.) Pop in a video they haven’t seen in a while (or save a new one for when they’re fighting). If your twins are of toddler or preschool age, a few rounds of “The Wheels on the Bus” should get their focus off each other.
Separation: Get them away from each other! If there are two adults in the house (or an older sibling and an adult), split them up. Each of you can take a twin into a different room. Or put them out of arm’s reach from each other by strapping them into their highchairs and taping some paper to the tray. Get out the washable crayons and let them color.
Change Gears: If they’ve worn out “playtime,” switch over to “snacktime” or “outdoor time.” If they’re preoccupied by apple slices or the birds at the bird feeder, they’ll forget about fighting.
Enlist Help: If your twins seem to be having a hard time switching out of “fight mode,” sometimes a new companion can help. At times like these, when I’ve run out of ideas to distract my twins, or just don’t have any more patience, I enlist the help of one of my teenagers to give piggyback rides while I take a breather in another room. The twins get very excited about playing with their big brothers and seem to behave because playing with them is a special treat. (If your spouse has been hiding away in the bedroom, it may be time for him or her to take a turn with the kids!)
Chances are, you’ll never be able to totally eliminate the fighting, but the techniques above will hopefully bring a little more peace to your day!
How the World’s Largest Twins’ Festival in Twinsburg Got Started
Every year, more than 3,000 sets of twins of all ages and from all around the world gather in Twinsburg, Ohio. It is the world’s largest annual gathering of twins! Held the first weekend in August, the Twins Days Festival is an occasion for fun, as well as scientific exploration. Each year, researchers and scientists show up to conduct various surveys and experiments with twin participants. Other events include a “Double Take” parade, a twins’ talent show, fireworks, a golf outing and other contests. There has even been a double wedding—twins marrying twins, of course! So, how did this amazing gathering get started? Here’s a history lesson:
Born on May 18, 1772, twins Moses and Aaron were born to Abel and Mary Wilcox in Killingworth, Connecticut. The twins were so identical that even their closest friends and family members had trouble separating them. They were also alike in temperament. If one was sad or ill, the other one became so, too, even if they were apart! As adults, they both served as officers in the War of 1812, and became prosperous merchants and manufacturers.
Their personal lives also ran parallel. They married sisters, Huldah and Mabel Lord, and both had nine children. With their families, they moved to Millsville, Ohio, and farmed together on jointly held land. They also sold small parcels of land for the Connecticut Land Company. Then the Wilcox twins made an odd request: They would give six acres of land to the town for a public square along with twenty dollars to be put toward building the first school if the town’s name was changed to Twinsburg. Their unusual request was granted!
The twins who did everything together nearly died together, too, only four years after arriving in Twinsburg. A few minutes after Aaron died in his home, Moses, who lived a half-mile away, is reported to have risen up in his bed and exclaimed, “My brother Aaron is dead, and I shall die, too,” which he did a little later in the day. The twins were buried together in the same grave, one above the other, in Twinsburg’s Locust Grove Cemetery.
A plaque in the town square reads: “In memory of Moses and Aaron Wilcox, the twin founders who gave Twinsburg its name, and this public park. They were unique in that they married sisters, had an equal number of children, held their property in common, were identical in appearance, were taken ill of the same disease, died on the same day, and are buried in the same grave.” It also states: “This monument erected as a permanent tribute to the foresight and integrity of the Wilcox twins who dedicated the land for this park and were instrumental in Twinsburg’s cultural, religious and educational growth.”
So, make your reservations now for the next gathering in Twinsburg, Ohio, from August 3-5, 2007! Their official Web site is at www.twinsdays.org.
