Twins at Play
One of the advantages of having twins is that your children always have someone to play with. For the first three years of my twins’ lives, I didn’t find this to be true. They pretty much played independently, and when they did play together, it usually resulted in a fight within five minutes! But now that they’re three, there are more and more extended periods where they’re playing nicely together. Their imaginations have sprouted, and it’s really adorable to see them engage in “pretend games.” They will use their dinosaurs to have a mock fight. Or they’ll play together with a bucket of Legos. It’s so much fun to see them having a conversation together. Best of all, they’re on the same level, so they’re interested in the same things. My two older singletons are almost three years apart, so often they had different interests and wouldn’t play together. While the youngest was still interested in Power Rangers, the oldest grew out of them and considered them for “babies.” So, it’s nice to have twins who will always be at pretty much the same level of maturity.
Another benefit of twins playing together is that they more quickly learn how to share and take turns than a child who is raised on his own. Sometimes, it’s just not possible to have two of every toy, which is good because they must learn to work things out when they both want the same thing. Of course, this takes time, and fights inevitably arise when they’re very young, but the older they get, the better they get at taking turns, especially with a little guidance from parents.
I often wonder if my twins will develop imaginary friends. Both of my older boys had a series of imaginary friends for a while (most notably, “Tinky” and “Scooter”!). I always thought it was because they wanted someone to play with, so it will be interesting to see if my twins develop the same need for friends, albeit make-believe ones.
Sometimes, my boys will fight over a toy, even if its ownership is clear (such as different colors, etc.). Caleb seems to covet whichever toy Austen has, whether it’s “his” or not. It’s just more desirable when his brother has it (and is, of course, discarded once he gets it). We now mark many toys with an “A” for Austen and a “C” for Caleb to help them determine what belongs to whom. They’ve learned to recognize their own letters and seem to respect the “A” or the “C” as the final determinant of ownership.
Finally, even if your twins play beautifully together, make sure you still set up play dates for them to learn to play with others. It’s not healthy for them to only rely on their twin for companionship. If they attend preschool or school, check with the teacher to make sure they are making friends outside of each other. There should be a healthy mix between playing together and with other kids.
I’m so happy to see my twins finally playing well together! It warms my heart to see them laugh at each other’s antics and to have fun in their own special ways. What a blessing to have a built-in play mate!
Amazing Multiples in the News
Multiples have been in the news a lot lately! Check out these amazing stories:
- When four-year-old twins in Elgin, Illinois, sent letters to Santa, one was dismayed to have one returned by the post office stamped “Return to Sender”! The twins’ grandmother, Nancy Teafoe, who mailed the twins’ letters, remarked that there must be a “grinch” at the post office. Normally, the post office does indeed make every effort to deliver kids’ letters to “Santa,” but obviously a mistake was made. The post office promised to redeliver the letter.
- Identical twins now hold the two top spots in Poland’s government. Lech Kaczynski is the country’s president, and his brother Jaroslaw was recently voted in as prime minister! The new prime minister has pledged to build more houses and highways, reform the public-finance system and fight corruption. The twins are trying to limit their appearances together so as not to bring too much attention to the fact that they are twins.
- A London woman recently gave birth to triplets, who were nestled in two different wombs! The woman has a rare condition in which she has two separate uteri, and even more remarkably managed to get pregnant in both of them. One womb contained identical twin girls, while the other contained a fraternal sister. Simultaneous pregnancies in two separate wombs have only been recorded 70 times in 50 years, and never before has it resulted in the birth of triplets. The mother and babies—delivered by caesarean section—are doing well.
It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas
Don’t let Christmas turn into Stressmas.
Entertaining Twins During the Holiday Break
Of course, all families look forward to the holiday break when the stresses of school are put aside, but having the kids home from school offers new stresses. First of all, if you have to work, who will watch them? And if you work from home, how will you get anything done with the kids around? But most of all, how will you stave off the inevitable “Mom, we’re so bored!”? If you celebrate Christmas, you’ve got a few days in which the kids will be occupied with their gifts, but then the video game is mastered and the Barbie doll loses its novelty, and suddenly the kids have “nothing” (or so they say) to do! If your twins are in separate classes, they may at first enjoy this extra time together, but as time passes with too much togetherness, they are likely to squabble and get on each other’s nerves. So how can you keep your sanity?
- Make it a “must” to get out of the house every day. Of course, it can get expensive if you’re going to a movie or other attraction each day, but even going to the park, taking a walk, heading to the mall, going sledding (or to the beach if you live in the South) can help break up the day. Much of a family’s discord results from being stuck in the house with each other all day, so plan those outings.
- Work in quiet time, too. Pick a time of day when you most need to get things done (make dinner, do laundry, etc.), and let the twins know that this is “quiet time.” They are to read a book or watch a movie, but the important thing is to let Mom and/or Dad do something on their own. You might even want to consider having your twins spend this time apart. A reward for a good “quiet time” might be the aforementioned “outing,” but be careful what you promise in case they misbehave. If you have to give up your time out of the house, you’ll be back to hearing, “Mom, we’re bored!”
- Enlist help from other families. Arrange with another parent to trade kids for a day. You take her kids for a day, and she takes yours for another. This gives you a free day, plus fresh entertainment for your twins on another day.
- If you have grandparents or other relatives nearby, this is a good time for the kids to get to know them. Ask Grams and Gramps to take the kids for an afternoon. Perhaps they can do something special together, like go for ice cream.
- Do some community service together. Good deeds abound before the holiday, but charitable work is often put aside when the holidays are over. Look for opportunities in your community or through your religious institution for your family to volunteer during the break.
- Save some gifts for after the holidays. Kids sometimes get overwhelmed by the big mound of gifts on Christmas day. Put some gifts aside and dole them out every few days during the break. For instance, if you’ve bought them three music CDs, wait until they’ve tired of listening to one before giving another. Same goes for video games, movies and books.
- Cook together! You’re probably all tired of cookies, but enlist your kids’ help in making pizzas together as a family or putting together tacos.
- Have the kids write thank-you notes for the gifts they received. Children should be taught to appreciate the time, effort and expense that others expended to buy gifts for them. Be sure they write a “thank-you” to their grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc.
- Let the kids “disassemble” Christmas. Make it a game to match up each ornament with its very own box. Let them take down the tinsel and garland, and pack it away. (But leave the lights on the roof to an adult!) Ask your twins for suggestions on how to rearrange the room now that the tree has been put away or discarded.
With a little advance planning, the holiday break with your twins can be a time of relaxation and fun. And make sure you, as a parent, get some “down time,” too! Even if you have to work during this time, try to take at least a day or two to be a kid again.
A Christmas Slaying Tradition
Christmas memories….
Music to my ears
The Meaning of Christmas
They say charity begins at home, which is good because this Christmas my charity begins with a late spring clean.
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When Twins Are Sick
Welcome to the cold and flu season. It’s inevitable . . . if one twin gets sick, the other is soon to follow! Twins spend so much time together that it’s rare that one will get a contagious disease without infecting the other. For some reason, in our house, the twins are rarely sick together. One of them always starts to feel lousy first, then just as he’s starting to feel a little better, the other one gets hit with the bug. At the moment, we’re struggling with stomach flu! Of course, one of the great laws of childrearing is that there is never a good time to get sick. In this case, Austen came down with the flu on the twins’ birthday—at the dinner table! Yup, he puked before we could even get the cake to the table, and spent the rest of the night in the same manner. The next day, when my parents were here to celebrate the twins’ birthday, Caleb fell asleep at the dinner table and just refused to be awakened! We later learned why when at 2 a.m. he also lost his dinner. Needless to say, my two nights on the floor with them, swapping out towels and clothes, were not very comfortable.
Once one of your children gets sick, it usually does little good to isolate him in the hope he won’t infect his twin because they’ve most likely already shared the bug before you even knew they had it. Of course, it’s always a good idea to have everyone wash hands often and discourage the twins from sharing cups, etc., but don’t be surprised if your best efforts at decontamination do little to deter the spread of disease.
So, if you’re the parent of twins, buckle down and prepare yourself for a prolonged time of illness. If you’ve been blessed with a helpful partner, it’s a good idea to alternate caretaking duties so neither of you gets burned out or rundown. Whether you’ll also get ill remains to be seen. Sometimes we get as sick as our kids; other times we get a watered-down version; still others, we may be lucky and already have antibodies built up against that particular disease. (With this bout of stomach flu, my husband is now very sick, while I am just feeling “yucky,” but surviving.) In the meantime, give your little loved ones lots of hugs and fluids. They’ll soon be off and running around the house again!
Football Orphans
Competition with Football Watching Dads Might Equal: Football Orphans!
Most dads really enjoy the football season. It’s just a given that many are simply glued to the TV set for hours fueling a strong competition for family time.
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What Are You Doing To Make A Difference In Eternity?
Eternity-A Heart-Beat Away
In today’s society people go about their life trying to just make it through the day. Eternity seems so far away and so gives the impression that there is plenty of time to get things done. I am sure that is how people felt in Noah’s time. There was plenty of time to repent and so they went on with their daily lives. Hebrews 11:7 “By faith Noah, when warned about things not seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.” (NIV)
Noah did not listen to the world-but focused on what the Lord had promised. People should look at Noah’s life and learn from it. Noah stayed faithful to the work God had given to him.
The truth is that eternity is just a heart-beat away. When your heart stops and you slip into eternity-there will be no time to repent or change what things have been done here on earth. The Lord has placed it on my heart to send out a wake up call and sound the alarm-because no-one is guaranteed a tomorrow. James 4:13-14 “Now listen, you who say, today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” (NIV) If you were to die today-what would people remember about you? If you are a Christian-would the life you led be glorifying to the Lord or would they be talking about the hypocrite who proclaimed to know Christ-but continually did things that were not pleasing to the Lord.
Words can either encourage or discourage and I believe we will give an account for words spoken on this earth. As a pastor of a small ministry-I encounter abuse daily and the only way I can overcome the negative is to keep focused on what the Lord has called me to do. I pray for the people who are talking negatively about the ministry and just as Noah did I continue building the ministry instead of an ark. James 1:26 “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.” (NIV)
In this world there will be many ministries and I don’t believe Jesus wanted people to believe that one certain church will get them to heaven. No church can get you to heaven-only a personal relationship with Jesus. People have a right to choose where to worship-but I believe they will be judged for the gossip and degrading they speak about different ministries and churches. Mark 9:38-41 “Teacher, said John, we saw a man driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us. Do Not Stop Him Jesus said, No-one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us. I tell you the truth, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to Christ will certainly not lose his reward.” (NIV) Jesus never told anyone to stop preaching or driving out demons.
Adultery is another point the Lord wanted me to sound the alarm about. In today’s society people are married and divorced a number of times and yet in most cases no one points out what the Bible says about adultery and divorce. The Bible is very clear about adultery and divorce: Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, Do not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (NIV) Matthew 5:31 “It has been said, anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. But, I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife except for marital unfaithfulness causes her to become an adulteress, and who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.”
Now is the time to repent and start living for the Lord. People who have accepted Jesus as their Lord and savior need to live a life separated from the world and by their example will bring others to find out more about being saved. 1 Peter 4:1-6 “Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do-living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation and they heap abuse you. But they will have account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so they might be judged according to men in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit.” (NIV) You can make a difference for the Lord and the best place to start is to stop listening to gossip and spreading gossip. The best rule is: “If it doesn’t make someone feel good or it doesn’t glorify God-keep your mouth closed.”
Finally, the Lord may return at anytime and there will be no time to repent. So, now is the time to make things right with the Lord and to start serving him. Matthew 24:36-44 “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the father. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left. Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into.
So, you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.” (NIV)
Are you ready to meet Jesus and give an account of what you have done for him that will make a difference in eternity?
Gone To Be With The Lord
The Angels Carried Him Home
In memory of: Charles E. Taylor
I first met “Chuck” (Charles) when the Ring of Fire Evangelistic Ministry/Blue Jeans For Jesus started about 6 years ago. I am the founding ordained pastor of this ministry. He came to visit services with his friend. Chuck lived in Fairfield, IL. Chuck had the heart of a child and would do anything for anyone. Approximately, a year ago he moved to Olney – so that he could attend services and I could be his payee. Chuck loved the Lord and enjoyed helping with the ministry.
I will never forget the night I received the call that the EMT’s were doing CPR on Chuck and I needed to get to the trailer park immediately. I had just washed my very long hair and it was very wet-so I just threw on my coat and headed to the trailer park. When, Mom and I arrived they told us to go to the hospital because that is where Chuck was. I filled out the information form and then they told me the news: “Chuck had gone home to be with the Lord.” They didn’t put it in those words-but I knew that is what had happened. I asked to see Chuck and I knew he was at peace and at home with the Lord. I told the Dr. and coroner that: “Chuck knew the Lord and he was in the arms of Jesus now-but he would be really missed.”
This is what I think happened to Chuck-he closed his eyes on this earth and woke up in the arms of Jesus! The Lord sent the angels to carry him home. I believe the Lord sends angels to carry those who know Jesus home to be with the Lord. This is shown in Luke 16:22 “The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side.” So, how should we deal with death-we should not fear it. Instead we should look forward to the final step in life which will lead to our home in heaven. This will be a day of rejoicing because we will be with the Lord and re-united with our loved ones. Jesus promised we will see him again-John 16:22 “So with you now: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.” (NIV)
I wanted to share with others that it is important to be ready for the Lord’s return. 1 Corinthians 15:51-55 “Listen, I tell you a mystery. We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed-in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death is your victory? Where, O death is your sting.” (NIV)
Chuck was ready to meet the Lord and while he was on this earth he spent his time serving the Lord and sharing the good news of Jesus! He was a faithful servant at the Angel Food Ministry and was always saying “Amen” during the preaching. Chuck will be missed and remembered for his faithful service and his wonderful smile. He would always go upstairs before services and sit and enjoy the music. But, we know that Chuck is at peace and home with the Lord.
Are you ready to meet Jesus? If not, why not ask Jesus into your heart and to forgive you of your sins. If you would like to ask Jesus into your heart-Please pray this prayer: Dear Jesus, Please come into my heart and forgive me of my sins and wrongs. I ask you to guide my steps and protect me. I surrender my life and will to you. I give you praise and glory. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen
If you prayed this prayer-then the next step is to be baptized and find a church home. Stay faithful to the Lord until he calls you home
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No Peace On Earth For Mom
What Mom really wants for Christmas is a handheld bulldozer…
God Always Cares!
This was e-mailed to me and I know it will touch the heart of many people and will let you know the Lord is always there with you!
This is beautiful!
She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: “How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?”
The surgeon said, “I’m sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn’t make it.”
Sally said, “Why do little children get cancer? Doesn’t God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?”
The surgeon asked, “Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he’s transported to the university.”
Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to her son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. “Would you like a lock of his hair?” the nurse asked.
Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy’s hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
The mother said, “It was Jimmy’s idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. “I said no at first, but Jimmy said, ‘Mom, I won’t be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom.” She went on, “My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.”
Sally walked out of Children’s Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy’s belongings on the seat beside her in the car.
The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy’s belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son’s room.
She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.
It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:
“Dear Mom, I know you’re going to miss me; but don’t think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just ’cause I’m not around to say “I Love You”. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won’t be so lonely, that’s okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn’t like the same things us boys do. You’ll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don’t be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn’t look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God’s knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That’s when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn’t allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him ‘Where was He when I needed him?’ “God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children. Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I’ve written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn’t that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I’m sure the food will be great.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don’t hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I’m glad because I couldn’t stand that pain anymore and God couldn’t stand to see me hurt so much, either. That’s when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?
Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.
Doubling Up for the Holidays!
Parents of twins are used to “double everything”—double daycare costs, double diaper expenses, double food and clothing bills—but the burden is especially acute during the holidays! My twins were born in December (and I have another son with a birthday in December), so our household really gets hit with heavy expenses this time of year. Luckily, kids aren’t usually very conscious about how much things cost. They’re often just as content with several little things as they would be with one very expensive gift. Keep this in mind when shopping for your twins. Head to the dollar store for lots of stocking stuffers and little toys that your kids will enjoy—coloring books, cars, plastic animals and dinosaurs, doll clothes, puzzles, books, etc. Think about saving the new bicycles for summertime when they’ll be able to enjoy them more anyway. And if your twins are old enough, be sure to encourage them to save some of their money for purchasing small presents for each other, and perhaps other family members. Or work together on some homemade gifts, such as baked goods or craft projects. Twins spend all their childhood learning to share with each other, and Christmas is an especially good time to encourage it. Remind your twins that their greatest gift is each other! And that they’re the best present that you ever received, too. Show your twins that gift-giving comes from the heart, not from the wallet.
Encouragement for All Parents
Recently, my family and I were in a very small group social situation with a family that had a typically developing child, and a family that had a son with a disability. Within minutes of our encounter with these families, I noticed the family with the typical child had not even acknowledged the other family—they were sitting by themselves, talking only to each other…I immediately realized that people are afraid of us—if our kids look or act different in any way, people don’t know how to react or what to say. So to the typical parents reading this, I hope my words can inspire and encourage you when you interact with special parents. And to the special parents, I hope that my words will appropriately put life to many of your thoughts and feelings. Don’t be afraid of us….our kids may or may not look differently from yours, they may act differently from yours, they may do or say things in a different way than your kids do, they may have sensitivities to everyday things that don’t bother your kids— but we parents still have hopes and dreams for our kids the way you do…please don’t shun away from us in public, just because you don’t know what to say or think. We are parents, just like you. Yes, we’re special. We’ve had to learn medical terms and facts that most parents don’t have to. We may have had more trips to the ER and may have had more hospital stays with our kids than you have. We may be familiar with may types of professionals that you may never have to encounter for your children. We don’t have as wide a range of choices in extra/after school activities that our kids can participate in—we just have had the privilege of learning all about the extra therapies after school that can benefit our kids. We take our children to multiple appointments and have different kinds of conferences with our kids’ teachers. Just because you haven’t had to go through some of the things with your children that we have, doesn’t mean we don’t want to talk to you about your hopes and dreams for your children…we just might have a little different perspective on “typical” hopes than you do, and our intent is to encourage you to see a little piece of the world the way our special child has taught us to see it. When you see us in public, do your best to make us feel included. We parents want to be accepted into our peer group, just like our kids. Just like you, we love to brag about our kids! We welcome any opportunity to tell you all of his or her accomplishments, no matter how big or small; even if they don’t compare to the things that your child has conquered. If you don’t know what to say, or concerned about the way your words will come out, I want you to try to put yourself in our shoes for that moment; focusing on positive, hope-filled words for our kids, and relax…we don’t bite! Most importantly, don’t fill your face or words with pity for us. Don’t feel sorry for us, we were chosen to parent our kids—we consider it a privilege. After spending some time with our child, you will see why we feel that way. We know that if you were faced with the challenges we have with your own son or daughter, you would find the strength to do what we do every day. So approach us and speak to us even when you’re not sure what to say or how we will react…don’t be quick to judge our child just because he’s different from yours. We just encourage you to open up your mind and heart to our family—we promise you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
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