The Mommy- Baby Wars
January 28, 2007 by Mom Mag · Leave a Comment
I know I shouldn’t accuse innocent children, but I think my babies have it in for me. Sometimes I wonder if they even notice daddy sitting there right in front of them. I think they secretly plan it with each other to synchronize their tantrums, poops, and crying sessions. Now in a way I kind of did it to myself because I wanted them to be on the same schedule especially during naptime, but now I see why people say be careful what you wish for.
Should You Teach Sign Language to Your Twins?
January 28, 2007 by Susan Heim · Leave a Comment
When my twins started to show frustration at telling me what they wanted (because their speech hadn’t yet caught up with their demands!), I began to teach them how to use sign language. Since I had never used sign language before, we bought several videotapes designed to teach sign language to young children (and their parents!). At first, the twins didn’t seem to get the “connection” between signing and communication merely by watching the videos, but as I continued to reinforce the lessons with them through our interactions, I was amazed at how quickly they caught on. When the twins started signing, their signs were very primitive as they didn’t have the hand coordination to do them properly. But as they matured, their signs got more and more recognizable. Some of their favorite signs included “more,” “bird,” “cookie,” “book” and “cheese” (naturally, the things they want most!). Best of all, it was wonderful to see the look of satisfaction on their faces when they knew they were understood.
Sign language is beneficial to children because it helps to compensate for the fact that they often understand language before they’re able to express it well. For instance, when my son Austen wanted something from me but was unable to vocalize it, he would point to things and hum. If he pointed to the cupboard and made noise, I would have to guess at what he might want, which got very frustrating for both of us! But when he made the sign for “cookie,” and I said, “Oh, you want a cookie?” he jumped up and down with glee because he had been understood! In fact, toddlers naturally use a crude form of sign language merely by pointing to things they want or raising their arms when they want to be picked up. Therefore, teaching sign language is just providing them with more gestures to aid in their communication. Some parents worry that if children know signs that they won’t bother to learn spoken words, but I don’t believe that’s the case. As my children were able to speak more words, they used them in combination with their signs—it was like they were speaking in two languages!
DVDs That Teach Baby Sign Language:
My Baby Can Talk: First Signs
My Baby Can Talk: Sharing Signs
(Baby Hands Productions)
Baby See ’N Sign, Volumes 1 and 2 (Kronz Kidz Productions)
Signing Time! An American Sign Language (ASL) Video for Children, Volume 1
Signing Time! Volume 2: Playtime Signs
Signing Time! Volume 3: Everyday Signs
Signing Time! Volume 4: Family, Feelings and Fun
Signing Time! Volume 5: ABC Signs
Signing Time! Volume 6: My Favorite Things
(Two Little Hands Productions)
Sign-a-Lot, The Big Surprise! A “Hands-On” Adventure! (Barbara Granoff and Lee Sher)
Baby Einstein: Baby Wordsworth—First Words: Around the House (Walt Disney Video)
Books That Teach Baby Sign Language:
Acredolo, Linda, et al. Baby Signs: How to Talk with Your Baby Before Your Baby Can Talk, McGraw-Hill, 2002.
Briant, Monta Z. Baby Sign Language Basics: Early Communication for Hearing Babies and Toddlers. Hay House, 2004.
Brown, Christopher, and John Clements. Sign Language for Babies and Toddlers. Thunder Bay Press, 2005.
Fixell, Andrea, and Ted Stafford. Baby Signing: How to Talk with Your Baby in American Sign Language. Studio, 2006.
Garcia, Joseph. Sign with Your Baby: How to Communicate with Infants Before They Can Speak. Northlight Communications, 2002.
Ryan, Diane. Complete Idiot’s Guide to Baby Sign Language. Alpha, 2006.
Copyright ©2007 by Susan M. Heim. Adapted from It’s Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence (Hampton Roads, 2007).
Moms Have Their Own Major Food Groups
January 26, 2007 by Lisa Barker · Leave a Comment
“Give me fat and carbohydrates or give me death!”
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All Grown Up
January 25, 2007 by Mom Mag · Leave a Comment
Isn’t it just amazing how fast children grow up? I mean just yesterday baby number one was gazing up at me with adoring eyes and now she is two years old with a one year old sister following along closely behind! I am absolutely fascinated by the speed at which they pick things up.
Lost In Time
January 25, 2007 by Mom Mag · Leave a Comment
It seems like as soon as the day begins it’s over, or the parts we enjoy at least. Our lives are so jammed packed with things to do, we rarely take time to enjoy the things we love. For example take this column I am writing… right now I am on my lunch break trying to enjoy writing and literally three minutes away from picking up my class from recess.
The Escalator
January 23, 2007 by Rev. Kimberly Dreiman · Leave a Comment
Where Will Your Final Destination Be?
Childhood memories are something I cherish and give thanks to the Lord for having such a wonderful childhood. One of the best memories I have is going to Evansville and Christmas shopping. The store had an escalator and I loved to ride up and down it. I would get on the escalator and it would take me to whatever floor I chose. People would choose to get off at different destinations.Just as the escalator had different stopping points-so does this life. The end of life stop for people will be Heaven of Hell! Some people have not even gotten on the escalator-they are lost and do not know the Lord. Others have gotten on the escalator and are beginning their journey with the Lord. The first floor stop would be salvation. On this stop – the person will have the opportunity to accept Jesus and receive forgiveness of their sins. After doing this – then a decision will have to be made to continue the journey with the Lord and proceed to the next level. The next level or stop would be to be baptized. Many people decide to stop and stay at this level with the Lord. The final step or level is faithfulness and service. This level requires a life being lived Holy and pleasing to the Lord and includes: a life of faithful service, prayer, Bible Study, communion and fasting. Someday the Lord’s escalator will stop for the final time. When this life’s escalator stops – where will you be? Will the final stop be Heaven or Hell? God has given everyone equal opportunity to board the escalator by accepting Jesus and then allows them to choose the floor the elevator will stop at or how far they are willing to go to serve the Lord.
An Invasion
January 23, 2007 by Debbie Johansson · Leave a Comment
When my in-laws decided to visit us after we moved into our new home, it was like any other visit. We showed them the house, drove them around the town; generally just showing some country hospitality. I thought it all went well until my husband’s parents decided to move here. I was beginning to think our attempt at country hospitality had backfired. In fact, it had worked a little too well.
Like Children, Like Pets
January 19, 2007 by Lisa Barker · Leave a Comment
Sometimes the line between children and pets is very gray.
Baby Boy
January 16, 2007 by LynneMarie Mack · Leave a Comment
My Husband, the Unexpected Family Man
January 13, 2007 by Susan Heim · Leave a Comment
When I met my husband, Mike, he was a single man. Divorced for a few years without children, it was just two Senegal parrots, two old cats and Mike in a three-bedroom house. Although he wasn’t unhappy, he yearned to have a family some day. Have you heard the saying, “Be careful what you ask for”? Well, this advice certainly turned out to be true for Mike—in a BIG way! After meeting me on a blind date, I’m sure he had no premonition that he would soon grow from a household of one adult to a family of six (with two more cats thrown into the mix)!
Yes, it happened quickly, but it wasn’t quite as simple as it seems…. The first two children were easy. Products of my previous marriage, they were eleven and fourteen when I married Mike. I had raised them as a single mother almost all of their lives, so after being unmarried for such a long time, I figured my family was complete. Although I was open to having more children some day if the situation were right, I had begun to console myself with the knowledge that I already had two healthy boys, and I had been blessed enough. When I got to know Mike, I found out there were further barriers to having more children, so my fate seemed sealed.
You see, my husband has a genetic condition where part of one chromosome is translocated to another chromosome. Because all of my husband’s genetic material is present (just rearranged), he has no disability, but since a man only contributes half of his DNA to a baby (the mother contributes the other half), Mike had a fifty-percent chance of contributing genetically defective material to a child, who would most likely die. Indeed, my husband’s former wife had suffered several miscarriages because of his condition, two heartbreakingly in the fifth month of pregnancy.
Therefore, my husband and I didn’t have any expectations for adding to our family. My children called him “Dad,” and our family was considered complete. We weren’t trying to have more children and continued to use birth control. So imagine our shock when we found out that I was pregnant!
When we got the news, we were excited—but scared. After all, there was a good chance the baby would die, and a smaller chance that it would survive, but with severe disabilities. We were also both of “advanced maternal age” (nearing forty), which meant that the chance for genetic problems was higher.
We showed up at our first ultrasound appointment with alternating feelings of exhilaration and terror. It seemed to take the doctor an awfully long time to take the baby’s measurements. In our state of heightened paranoia, we were growing concerned that there was a problem. Finally, the doctor turned the screen toward us and announced, “Well, as you can see, we have two sacs.” Two sacs? Our minds raced. What did that mean . . . our baby had two sacs? So, there was a problem, after all . . . But it wasn’t a “problem”; it was another baby! “It’s twins!” the doctor added. I stared in disbelief. “You’re kidding us, right?” I asked. He shook his head. I think my husband and I caught a few flies that day when our mouths flew open in shock. TWINS! We kept repeating the word all the way home. “Twins! Oh, my God, did he say ‘twins’?”
After we’d had some time to absorb the news, we really didn’t know what to think. The good news was, we told ourselves, maybe that meant more of a chance that at least one baby would survive. The bad news was, of course, it also seemed likely to us that at least one of them would NOT survive. Or even both. The odds seemed too long that we would be fortunate enough to have two healthy children at the same time considering the circumstances.
Like many mothers expecting twins, my pregnancy was classified as “high risk,” and I was monitored closely. Monthly sonograms were a source of agony as we worried each time that some problem would be found. The perinatalogist told us that we could have an amniocentesis to examine the babies’ genes, but we declined. If a defect were found, there was nothing they could do to fix it. And we didn’t like the chance that the procedure could cause a miscarriage—especially risky considering there were two babies. We knew we would never abort regardless of the results, so we took a wait-and-see approach.
In my fifth month of pregnancy, I started bleeding. Because my husband’s two previous children had been lost in the fifth month, we were convinced it was happening again. A middle-of-the-night call to the doctor somewhat reassured us that this could be normal, but we were still scared to death and prayed like we had never prayed before! To our great relief, the bleeding stopped a few long days later and was merely the result of an irritated cervix. The babies were fine.
Nevertheless, we continued to worry. The doctors warned us that multiples tend to come early and told us about the scary signs to look for that indicate premature labor. I was almost afraid to sneeze for fear of dislodging the babies! At one point, one twin showed a lack of movement on the fetal monitor. Again, everything was okay: The baby had just slept through the procedure that day!
Finally, the twins’ “birth day” arrived—a day we had both looked forward to, yet feared, as we would soon find out if our babies were healthy. At thirty-nine weeks, I ambled into the doctor’s office. Amazingly, I was still on my feet and driving myself around. Other than hugely swollen legs, I was in good health. But that day, my blood pressure was slightly elevated, and the doctor said, “Today’s the day. Go home and pack your bags. Meet me at the hospital.”
I drove home, raced into the house as quickly as my chubby legs could carry my huge belly, called my husband to come home from work and headed to the hospital. Labor was induced, and several hours later I gave birth to Austen Joseph, six pounds, nine ounces, and Caleb Dwight, seven pounds, thirteen ounces. We held our breaths until they announced that both boys were in excellent health—no neonatal intensive care required—and they went home with me two days later. Two beautiful boys.
As I sit here on the computer writing this story, Caleb is whining for my attention, and Austen is practicing his spitting techniques all over his toys. When my husband comes home from the office, they’ll run up to him with their arms out in front of them, and my normally serious-minded husband will break out in a big smile. (Our two older boys will briefly look up from their homework and say, “Hi, Dad!”) At times when the twins are both being particularly naughty, Mike and I will catch each other’s eyes and say simultaneously, “Twins!” And we are still amazed at our good fortune. Four boys later, my husband is now the family man he always dreamed he would be.
Originally published in Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons, compiled and edited by Susan M. Heim in conjunction with TWINS Magazine.
