NO TURNING BACK (#3)
At three a.m. when my water broke, I was caught by surprise(who isn’t).
After I realized that I didn’t wet the bed, I woke my boyfriend who found it hysterical that I was ‘overflowing.’ I joined in his laughter but my laughs quickly turned to tears as my swollen belly squeezed tighter and tighter.
Love
Love
Why do we over eat things when we know we’re not supposed to? People talk about learning to eat properly and I have trouble with that statement. I think we all know how to eat from a logical standpoint. We know our food groups, we know fruits and veggies are supposed to fill our days. We know we need protein and a little fat to keep us healthy. We know fast food is bad for us. We know everything should be in moderation. Even if we were brought up in a cave, our bodies know, they tell us through our weight, our blood, our energy levels and so on. Why do we do it then? Why do we put more and more inside ourselves? I have learned that it all comes down to one thing: Love. Our ability to feel love is what effects the way we treat our bodies. Whether we are overweight or have an eating disorder, it all comes down to our ability to feel love. I am talking about both the love of the outside world, and the love we have for ourselves (or in this case often don’t have). When we feel loved, I mean really feel it, we don’t want to abuse ourselves in any way. When we feel loved, we cherish ourselves, we protect ourselves, we hold ourselves in high esteem. The world can be a lonely place right now. It isn’t the way it was in the past with neighborhood get togethers and stay at home moms. (Though many people are beginning to try to regain this.) Families aren’t together in the same town anymore. People lose touch. People keep to themselves and are less likely today than ever before to really reach out and take in new friends. People are lonely. The world can be full of judgement right now. The media (including television and movies) portrays an image of women (and men too) that is physically impossible for most people to reach. Why do you think many celebrities, men and women, suffer from eating disorders? Even they cannot reach the standards that so many of us are holding ourselves and each other to at this time. We hear all the time that only 2% of the population can look the way we think we all should look. At the same time, obesity rates are gaining at a rapid pace, and more individuals are finding themselves faced with eating disorders in many forms. The two are definitely tied together. Most of us spend so much time in our heads thinking of the things we dislike about our bodies, more than we think good thoughts toward ourselves. We’re lonely, making us feel disconnected and therefor unloved. We’re ashamed because our bodies don’t look like the cookie-cutter mold that they’re supposed to, a mold that in most of our eyes would definitely bring more love into our lives. There is no miracle cure for this. It all comes down to the individual, as it always does. We can’t sit and wait for others to come to us and love us. We have to learn how to love ourselves and to feel loved even in our loneliest moments. More than relearning how to eat, we need to relearn how to think about ourselves. This is a time of individuals more than groups. People stand on their own these days more than ever before. If you can get to the point where you feel love within yourself, no matter what is going outside of you, you will find peace with yourself, your body, and no longer have the urge to hurt yourself. Whether we are overeating or purging, we are hurting ourselves. We are punishing ourselves for not being good enough, for not being strong enough, appealing enough, and lovable enough. But we are. Every one of us is beautiful, sexy, strong, appealing and lovable. We’re not supposed to look or be like each other. We are individual reflections of God, and we are what He wants us to be. Finding your way back to love can be easy or hard, depending on how much you doubt your worth, how long you’ve let yourself think badly about you. This is how I began my process. For everyone it will be a little different, but this can be a sort of guide on your way to rediscovering that self-love we are all born with. The realization that I didn’t feel love took awhile to come upon. I don’t have a lot of family, but what I have is very important to me. My mother, two younger brothers, my husband and my son are all important and close to me. And yet I often had trouble believing in their love as well. I had convinced myself so much that I was unlovable, that I didn’t always trust what they said, their motives for saying or doing things, or their stability in my future. Two things played big roles in discovering I was worthy of love. One was my son. As he grew into a toddler I was able to see more and more the love he held for me. He saw me as beautiful, wonderful, extremely loving and lovable. He didn’t know about anything in my past, he didn’t see my mistakes or pain. He just saw me, the real core of me. Most importantly, he felt my unconditional love for him and responded to it in kind.The second thing was my dad. After a bitter divorce between my parents when I was 27, my dad separated from all of us and started a new life with a new woman. He was often very unkind in things he said of us to others, and even to us. The couple years after the divorce were really only a magnification of what had been going on subtly for years. I know he loved us all, but he was never good at love. He didn’t trust people’s love and I had learned this from him. He also didn’t really know what love is and seemed to think it was made up of pity and the ability to lean on others. Because of these things I had to do something I would have never thought I’d have to do with my dad – take him out of my life, step away from him and move on. It was painful and extremely disappointing. But through it I had the opportunity to learn that the idea of a father is not limited to one man in our lives. I learned that God is our one true parent. God is our Father and our Mother. God is not some distant spirit, but is right here with me every single day. He has plans for me, dreams for me, bigger than anything I could imagine. And most importantly, His love for me is beyond anything I could ever fathom. That love is there every moment for every one of us, filling us up. I hope that I never find myself in the position of having to spend every moment of every day for the rest of my life without any human companionship. But if that would happen, I now know that I would never really be alone. My Father and Mother, my Best Friend, my true Companion would be there every second of every day loving me. Knowing that someone as big and powerful as God loves me, knowing it to my core, has allowed me to begin to see how lovable, beautiful and wonderful I really am. There are still moments when I question these things, but these questions and moments of self-doubt and self-destruction are getting fewer and farther between. By exploring my worth and my innate love, I am beginning to find my passions and my purpose in life. All these things are pointing me on a path to self-fulfillment in which I am full of love more than I have been in a long time. Now that I am feeling more loved within myself, I am not looking as much to the people around me for that love. I am finding more peace around others, more ability to trust them and their love for me, more moments of happiness and joy and fulfillment than of self-loathing. All abusive eating habits are self-punishment. When we love ourselves, no matter our size, shape, look, we no longer feel the need to punish. Instead we feel the need to inspire, to lift up, to stand strong and proud. I want this for everyone out there who has ever felt a moment of self-loathing. You are loved beyond your wildest dreams. You are cared for, you are protected and you are beautiful and strong. Embrace it and learn to believe it.
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Do You Hear What I Hear?
When little ones pipe up in public, it can raise a few eyebrows.
It’s time for our many pets to get their annual check-up and shots. The best way to handle this is to schedule an appointment each week with the vet and bring them in two at a time.
As always, I have at least three kids in tow. One of those kidlets is my three-year old who has been seriously studying the vet and all his equipment.
Web Sites for Multiples Organizations
Multiples groups are a great resource for meeting other parents of multiples and finding information about raising twins, triplets, and more. The largest organization in the United States is the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs (NOMOTC). They are the parent for many state or multi-state organizations, which in turn serve the needs of many local organizations. You can become a member of the NOMOTC, your state organization, and/or a local chapter. Look for helpful newsletters, conventions and meetings, and more! Here are web sites for the NOMOTC, as well as some of the state organizations. The NOMOTC web site also provides contact information on many of the local chapters.
National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs (NOMOTC): www.nomotc.org
Arizona State Mothers of Multiples Organization: www.asmomo.org
Northern California Association of Mothers of Twins Clubs: www.ncamotc.homestead.com
Southern California Mothers of Twins Clubs: www.scmotc.org
Colorado Parents of Multiples: http://home.coloradopom.org
Florida Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs: www.fomotc.org
Georgia Organization of Mothers of Multiples: www.gomomc.org
Illinois Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs: www.iomotc.org
Indiana Federation of Mothers of Twins Clubs: www.ifmotc.org
Kansas Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs: http://members.cox.net/komotc/
Kentucky State Mothers of Multiples: www.orgsites.com/ky/ksmom/
Massachusetts Mothers of Twins Association: www.mmota.org
Michigan Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs: www.momotc.org
Missouri Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs: www.missourimotc.org
New Jersey Association of Twins Mothers Clubs: www.njatmc.org
New York Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs: www.nysomotc.org
North Carolina Mothers of Multiples: www.ncmom.org
Ohio Federation of Twins Mothers Clubs: www.ofmotc.org
Oklahoma Mothers of Multiples: www.omoms.org
Pennsylvania Organization of Mothers of Multiples Clubs: www.pomotc.org
Texas Mothers of Multiples: www.tmom.net
Wisconsin Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs: www.womotc.org
Northwest Association of Mothers of Twins Clubs: www.nwamotc.org
Mid-Atlantic Parents of Multiples: www.orgsites.com/va/mapom/
Confessions of a Distracted Shopper
Pizza and bleach…pizza and bleach, I mutter to myself as I hurry towards the grocery store. With a hungry family at home, I am determined to keep my shopping brief and only buy the forgotten items from today’s earlier trip. I head for the row of carts, enjoying the solitude of shopping alone while my husband stays home with the kids.
As I reach for an available cart, I notice something in the baby seat of the cart next to me-a few green leaves left behind from a bouquet of flowers and a stuffed lavender envelope. Written on the envelope in a no-nonsense script are the words, “To Rosemary, (my wife).”
What an interesting inscription, I think to myself as I shop. Who is Rosemary? Is it her birthday? Anniversary? And why did her husband have to clarify “my wife” after her name? Are there other Rosemarys in his life, with whom she must compete?
I pick up the take-and-bake pizza and head through the checkout, grabbing a bottle of bleach along the way. Maybe they had a fight and he was trying to make it up to her, only to leave the thoughtful card behind! Poor, poor man; So hurried, so distracted!
I listen to the sounds of the parking lot and adjacent street as I stroll to my car still pondering the plot behind the remaining gift left behind. Do I leave things behind like that? Nah! I’m usually pretty good about picking up after myself. Sure, maybe the occasional receipt, or my children’s crumbs from free cookie samples, but nothing that would tell anyone about me.
I reach into my cart to load my groceries into the mini-van. I gasp. The cart is empty! Did I take the wrong cart? Did I even go through the checkout? Suddenly, I can’t remember if I paid for anything. I quickly return to the store to solve the mystery.
Searching the checkout stands, I find the familiar face of my cashier.
“I thought you’d be back!” She says, smiling as she gently pushes my groceries towards me.
“Thanks,” I say with a sigh. “I guess I had my head in the clouds.”
I sheepishly return to the car with my few items, and wonder how Rosemary’s husband is doing.
MOANS AND GROANS (#2)
At 16, highschool socializing became a thing of the past for me. I could no longer do the things my friends were doing so I had to find new people to hang out with; actually they found me.
Bring Me a Drink
It’s past bedtime and my son of 3 years keeps asking for something to drink
(to extend bedtime) and we keep telling him no. He continues to ask….can
you bring me up a drink? My husband finally yells upstairs that he needs to
be quiet and go to sleep or he will get a spanking. My son quickly yells
back, “When you come up to spank me, can you bring me a drink!”
Submitted by Michelle McConnell
Designs by Michelle Custom Bracelets
http://www.custommadebracelets.com
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Sick Cows
We were on our way to church one Sunday morning.. My children in the back seat got into a discussion about cows.
“Mommy, can cows get sick?” asked my 5 yr old daughter. My oldest son, 11yrs old, decided that he would answer her question.
“Yes, Caitlin, cows do get sick! You know they are sick if they have soured milk.”
My husband and I tried not to let them see us laughing. But it really was funny!
Rhonda Twitty
http://www.my.ws/rhondastwitty
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New Batteries
When a friend of mine was weaning her son she told him that the milk was all
gone. That it didn’t work any more. Being a kid of the 21st century his
answer to her was: “Needs new batteries momma!”
Submitted by Cynthia Powell
Chicks & Cubs
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Footprints
Last week, my almost- 3-year old daughter said, “I don’t want to wear my shoes. I want to go footprints.” Instead of barefoot. It was so sweet!
Submitted by Mary Carter
Gifts of Wit
How About a Goat
My boy, Komayl, was about 2.5. He had been successfully going to the
bathroom when he needed to all week. He was still getting a chocolate
reward most of the times he went on the toilet.
One night, as I lay beside him in bed as part of the bedtime routine,
we were singing round after round of Old McDonald. At the end of a
verse, he would supply the name of the animal we were to sing in the
next verse. Eventually it was my turn to supply the name of the animal.
At some point, he announced he had to go pee, so we went pee. After
peeing, he wanted a chocolate as usual, but I was out of them, so I
said, “I’m so sorry, Komayl. The chocolates are all gone.” Back in
bed and me wanting to get his mind off the chocolate as quickly as
possible, I offered another animal name hoping to get his mind back
on the song. I said, “How about a goat?” It was quiet for an extended
time, and I could “hear” his brain thinking. Then he announced with
consternation, “I don’t want gooo-aaat!” (He thought I was suggesting
goat as a replacement for a chocolate.)
Submitted by Dara Becker
Modest Clothes
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Not Silly
My 3 year old, Joshua, is really into dinosaurs, so we usually goof around the house pretending to be dinosaurs. Well I guess I must have goofed around too realistically and unintentionally scared him. I apologized and said, “Oh, honey, no, I’m sorry, Mommy is just being silly.” When he responded with, “No. You no silly, I’m Joshua!”
Submitted by Adry
Adry’s Baby Creations
Kitty Whiskers
When my son Imanni was 4 years old he had a fascination with his preschool safety scissors. He wanted to cut everything and practically did if they were in his reach. One day as I was getting out of the shower, I noticed that our kitty was curled up in the bathroom sink, which by previous experiences he only did that when he was scared. I got close to the kitty to see what was wrong, when I noticed something very different about him, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. After about minute or so, I realized his whiskers were gone. Including his eyebrows. After composing myself, I asked Imanni, “Honey, what happened to the kitty’s whiskers?”
“I don’t know Mommy.”
“Well, why are they all over your bed?”
“They must have fallen off?”
Submitted by Adry
Adry’s Baby Creations
Stranger Danger
There is always a lot of discussion about children not talking to strangers and I agree. However, it can sometimes cause problems when you live in a small country town, for children and adults alike.
Can I Get An ‘N’, Vanna?
When toddlers add extra letters to words, conversation takes a silly turn.
Remembering You
Somewhere between pregnancy and motherhood I crossed a line about the value of myself. I was never a fashion guru or a makeup queen, but I always took care of myself and was proud of my attractiveness. And then I had this precious child who demanded everything of me; a house with endless responsibilities; and a husband who provided so well that I felt compelled to make his home life as comfortable and easy as possible. During this time my parents divorced and I had to come face to face with issues I’d been ignoring about my father. Soon I was forced to sever ties with him, and was left with anger, sadness and the pain of feeling unloved. Little by little, without even noticing it, I began to put myself down. Soon I was at the bottom of the line where everyone and everything else came first. My value for myself diminished and guilt and self-hatred took its place. I couldn’t lose the baby weight, I stopped caring for myself and I began mentally depreciating myself constantly. I could buy products for the care and necessity of everyone else, but the thought alone of getting what I needed brought me close to tears with guilt. Somehow the idea got embedded in my thought that I was worthless: worth
less than everyone around me. When we begin to hate ourselves for whatever reason, the result tends to be the same – we want to disappear. Some do this by trying to take up as little space as possible through disorders like anorexia or bulimia; others try to take up so much space that people will take one look and instantly dismiss them as someone who doesn’t matter.
One day it occurred to me that there was a difference between body image and self-image, though they were definitely connected. I began looking at my self-image and correcting my view about my body. I began trying to see what my body had to say about me, the story it told, it’s strengths instead of its weaknesses. Slowly my self-image became less critical. Then one day I was reading Oprah’s “What I Know For Sure” in her February, 2003 issue of O, and she said, “You are not built to shrink down to less but to blossom into more.” I wanted to be full – not with possessions or food, but with myself! Full of myself to the brim – and proud of it! After slight changes such as this in thought, I was ready to begin adjusting what I ate and the way I used my body. I began concentrating on my food intake as to what made my body feel good and useful and productive. I began exercising as much as possible. Soon, watching my body’s strength and endurance increase became more important than the pounds that were slowly dropping off. But there was another key to this puzzle for me – one that I discovered quite by accident. The key of forgiveness. Forgiving others is something I have worked on and fairly mastered: the only thing to remember is that their thoughts and actions have nothing to do with the real me. The key was self-forgiveness. No one talks much about self-forgiveness, but it has proved vital in my life. There was a lot of baggage and self-anger I was carrying around with me over mistakes and decisions I had made in the past. The things I had chosen to do that had not worked out, the reactions I’d had to things I wish I could retract, all these things were still inside me feeding my feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness. Finally I sat down to look at these things and began to realize that, though I might regret some things, I learned a lot and grew from every one of those mistakes and decisions and through that growth ended up happily married with a wonderful son. I then realized it was time to forgive myself, to have compassion and understanding for myself, and to love myself again instead of turning away from who I really am in criticism and denial. This sense of self-forgiveness really helped eliminate a lot of the trash talk in my head. I have come a long way in how I look at myself, but this doesn’t mean I never think a bad thought because unfortunately I do. It is almost like an addiction, this disliking yourself. It keeps you down, it keeps you hidden and it keeps you in a constant state of excuse. How can anyone, even you, expect great things of yourself when you are: Fat? Worthless? Unattractive? Nothing? They can’t, you don’t and you won’t. There are still many times when suddenly the same person I saw in the mirror yesterday who looked fine, the same person who was active and useful and moved with purpose is now the person I despise. I will look in the mirror and see a saggy woman who is a failure. I will think these things until I am quite unable to do anything. And then I will cry. But now, a small voice comes through reminding me that I have begun to rediscover the real me, and she is just waiting for me to look in her direction again. This voice reminds me that God created me, and that by diminishing myself, I am really diminishing Him. I am saying that He is not powerful and loving and full of life, but is small and ugly and worthless. In the Bible, God announces Himself as the great I AM. Since we’re His reflection, it follows that when we use the term, “I am..” to describe ourselves, we are attaching those labels not only to us, but to Him as well. And don’t we deserve more than that from ourselves? There is no need for guilt when it comes to body image or lifestyle or career when the choices we are making are ones that make us feel good. But as women we have a part of ourselves that often believes we are unworthy and so are guilty for exactly what we deserve / need / makes us happy. Recently I lost track of the good steps I’d made and was falling into a pit of despair all over again. I knew what I needed was some perspective, a change of scene. I needed to get out of the house and responsibilities that were keeping me locked in and be quiet and alone long enough to rediscover what I knew to be true about myself. My husband and mother graciously stepped in to help make a weekend alone possible. It was exactly what I needed to get some balance back in my life. But I almost cancelled the trip out of guilt for taking the time for myself, because for some reason I believed I did not deserve it. I brought this up to my mom a couple days before I left and she told me how when she was first divorced from my dad and finally living on her own she felt such an overwhelming sense of freedom. Immediately on its heel came guilt. She was talking with an older woman friend of hers one day and told her about this guilt, and the woman said, isn’t it a shame that we have to feel guilty for what we deserve? This woman owns a large home that she loves and uses every room in, yet she said she finds herself constantly defending her ownership since it is only her living there. We have to remember that God created men and women and so we are all an equal reflection of Him. Society since the beginning has placed women into the Adam dream – the idea that we came from a man and therefor owe something to man. God is our only creator and it is only to Him that we owe anything – and all He wants from us is everything: happiness, success, freedom, love, independence, active lives and spirits. And most of all a love for who we are and with that the ability to live as fully and wonderfully as possible. As women we need to listen to ourselves more. We get so busy listening to everyone else – their needs and opinions – that we often forget the sound of our own inner voice. This is the voice that gave you your dreams, your loves, your own valuable opinions and ideas. Taking time to truly hear what your voice has to say again will open the channels to knowing who you are, and what you deserve and truly desire. Writer John Hargreaves explains that we are never given a desire that God hasn’t already fulfilled. This does not mean that if you want a yacht one will magically appear on your doorstep. What it means is, if you have a true desire for the openness and freedom and power that a yacht would bring, you are recognizing this desire because God has already established a way for those things to be present in your life. Writer Richard Bach says something very similar, “You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true.” But to fulfill these wishes and desires we must be open to seeing them as they present themselves in our lives and to do this, we must be in touch with ourselves. Taking the time to care for your needs – putting yourself at the top of the list instead of the bottom – is not a selfish thing to do. In fact, quite the opposite. It is a gift we give to our family and friends. Dr. Phil says that we teach people how to treat us. Teaching people the correct way to treat us is not only a gift to ourselves, but is a gift for
them since it brings into their experience respect and understanding. It teaches our daughters to grow with self-respect, it teaches our sons how to be wonderful and loving men, and it gives the gift to our husbands and relationships of keeping alive the true woman you are, the one they truly love and know is there. So whatever that means in your life at this moment – demand and expect it. From yourself first. Live life full of yourself and see how it feels to remember you.
2007-03-22
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The Potty Predicament
Today’s parents of toddlers have it way too easy. They have all kinds of high-tech aids for potty training their children, things I sure could have used when I was attempting to train my now-teenage son. I bought a portable potty before he turned a year old. Filled with glorious visions of my brilliant child fully trained by 18 months, I knew I’d be the envy of all my friends. I kept the commode in the closet for a few weeks, not wanting to burden him with unrealistic expectations. When I finally put it, with much fanfare, in the bathroom, he seemed delighted, examining it closely while I beamed as I planned how to spend the money I’d save on diapers.
RUDE AWAKENING (#1)
I had fallen asleep on the couch that night while waiting for my friends to pick me up. Apparently they never came because when I opened my eyes, the green glow of the clock told me that it was 3:42 AM.
What Happened to MY Friday Nights?
When did a Friday night of dinner and bar hopping with friends turn into cheese pizza and The Lion King?
I have to say that my Friday nights are quite different today than they were pre-children (a mere five years ago). Back then, Friday nights were spent hanging out with friends at a local bar or restaurant (one where chicken nuggets aren’t the main course and a man with a red wig and big red feet isn’t the maître d’). We also stayed out as late as we wanted. That was before we had to worry about getting the babysitter home at a descent time and our little ones anxiously awaking for breakfast before the crack of dawn.
It wasn’t until recently that I began to think how much my life really has changed.
It was a typical Friday night at our house. We all ate pizza (cheese only of course) and watched a movie (our movie list now consists of The Lion King, Madeline or Little People). Full bellies and several movies later, I attempted to start our bedtime ritual for the kids. After a few failed divergences, time outs for not brushing teeth, and attempted negotiations to get their favorite pajamas out of the dirty laundry basket for just one more night, the kids were finally up in their beds (that’s in bed–not asleep).
Ahhh…it’s eight o’clock on a Friday night, the kids are finally in bed and my husband and I have the rest of the evening to ourselves.
Now, in our pre-kids days this would be early and we could head out to dinner or just grab a few drinks with friends. Well, in post-kids days by the time 8:00 p.m. hits, we are completely exhausted and anticipating the thought of just lying our head down on the pillow.
Instead of just relaxing on the couch (relax isn’t really a word in my vocabulary anyway) I began ironing my husband’s shirts in the family room while he sat in his chair watching CSI. (The site of me ironing was amazing in itself because it rarely happens in our house. My idea of getting out wrinkles consists of throwing a wet rag in the dryer until the shirt looks presentable.)
As I looked around our family room it suddenly hit me …I had been morphed into my mother’s life. It was a typical scene from my teen years. My mom standing in our family room happily ironing (I think I was missing that “happy” part) and my dad sitting in his recliner watching T.V. This was typical in my parents’ house…but not MY house! When I was younger I remember thinking to myself, “Who wants to iron and watch some boring TV show on Friday night? What a boring life.”
Well, here I am, years later, doing the exact same thing, living that so-called boring life.
I walked upstairs to verify that my children were actually asleep. As I walked into my daughter’s bedroom I saw my two little one’s side by side sound asleep. They looked so peaceful and angelic. (Okay that angelic thought only lasted briefly as I stumbled over the toy fire truck that my son refused to put away which got him placed in time out, which turned into a crying fit and in the end only prolonged bedtime and left the toy on the floor.)
It was then that I remembered why I traded in my old Friday nights for these new Friday nights. Even though I was now exhausted by eight o’clock on a Friday night (and couldn’t even fathom the idea of going out for the night) I was more content and happy with this “new” Friday night than all of my old Friday nights combined.
So, yes, there has been a drastic change in Friday nights at the Hymer household. I’ve traded in gourmet meals for chicken nuggets and mac and cheese, evenings of bar hopping for chaotic nights filled with bath time, bedtime stories and sibling arguments sprinkled with plenty of giggles, hugs and kisses from two little angels that complete our life. What a wonderful trade-off!
I’m sure my children will have these same thoughts as they look back on their childhood and remember the so-called “boring” Friday nights of their parents’ lives. I can only hope that when they too have the revelation “Oh my gosh, I’ve been morphed into my parents lives,” it won’t sound so boring but actually sound pretty comforting!
Jill Hymer is a freelance writer and public relations consultant living in Columbus, Ohio with her husband Larry, children Kennedy and Zachary, and family dog Shelby (which is more like a third child than the family dog). After graduating from the University of Cincinnati, Jill pursued a career in marketing and public relations while working in various industries including nonprofit, healthcare, telecommunications and banking. After spending over a decade working full-time in the corporate world, Jill was able to pursue a freelance career and spend more time with her family. Her leisure days of business meetings and corporate deadlines have been replaced with frantic mornings rushing to the bus stop and preschool, cleaning up the house, picking up kids, grocery shopping, cleaning up the house, running errands, play dates, gymnastics, soccer and even more cleaning up the house! Jill has made a successful transformation from business executive to soccer mom and enjoying every minute of it!
The Circles of Hell
Raising kids IS a divine comedy.
What Riches Are You Storing Up?
{mosimage} Jesus Is Coming Soon
The Bible promises Jesus will return for us as shown in I Thessalonians 4:13-18 “Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words.” The Lord will return for you and it might be in death or in the glorious return of Jesus-the point is that we must be ready to go no matter what the circumstances.
In today’s society many people fear death and there is no need for that. Death is just a new beginning with the Lord. I believe that a person who dies wakes up in new world of perfect peace with Jesus-if they have known Jesus as their Lord and savior. Death should not be a concern for the Christian. A Christian should be concerned about living a life Holy and pleasing to the Lord and reaching out to others to spread the good news of Jesus.
Sadly, many people spend their lives buying items that will someday be tossed by someone who is cleaning up after their death. Time is another thing that is wasted-many people try to build wealth and many times do not live to enjoy it. Matthew 6:19-21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Matthew 6:24 “No-one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Today, I hope this article will cause you to ask yourself- “Are my priorities to put the Lord first in my life and to serve others or am I driven to collect earthly things and to store up wealth?”
Potty Training Times Two
My three-year-old twins are in the throes of potty training. This is definitely harder on me than it is on them! My paranoia that they’ll have an accident is upped by the fact that I just bought new living room furniture, so I’m constantly imploring, “Do you have to use the potty yet?” “Are you still dry?” We’re using a combination of techniques: reward (animal crackers for each tinkle; chocolate candy for each poo); nudity (leaving their clothes off entirely while they’re in the house); threats (“If you mess your pants again, you’ll have to clean it up yourself!”); and frequency (having them sit on the potty every half hour). With twins, needless to say, this is a very time-consuming process!
Unfortunately, there is no magic formula for potty-training any child. And, with twins, you have twice the guesswork because the method that works for one might not work for the other. One of your kids might prefer the big potty, while the other prefers the child-size one. One might be motivated by Elmo’s potty video, while the other one isn’t interested at all. It’s all trial-and-error. If one method doesn’t work, move on to the next.
With twins, one child may be ready to be potty-trained before the other. That’s okay. Focus on the child who’s ready and don’t worry about the other one for now. Chances are, once one is trained, the other will follow quickly thereafter. Try not to get angry with your kids when they’ve soiled yet another pair of pants (or bed or new couch!). Believe it or not, very few children enter kindergarten not potty-trained! But, naturally, we’d like it to happen a lot sooner. (The cost of diapers for parents of multiples consumes a huge chunk of their income!) In our home, the pressure is on because the boys can’t start summer camp at the end of May unless they’re fully trained . . . so the clock is ticking! Sometimes it takes a deadline to really motivate Mom and Dad to get the kids trained.
Here are some tips from other twins parents to help take the agony out of potty-training multiples:
· If you decide to purchase child-size potties, most parents of twins suggest that you get two. Oftentimes, twins like to go at the same time, or you can have a potty in two different bathrooms. Some parents move one or both potties into the twins’ bedroom(s) at night so they’re close at hand in case your twins need to make a “midnight run.”
· To give little boys more accuracy when they stand up to pee, throw Cheerios or a square of toilet paper in the potty and make a game out of aiming for them.
· Never compare your twins’ potty-training progress. The child who’s more difficult to train may become even more stubborn just to prove that he wants to be different! Let each child train at his or her own pace.
· Bribery is not a bad word when it comes to potty-training. In this case, it’s called a “motivational tool”! Try stickers, treats, special pants, colorful toilet paper—anything that might motivate your twins to train.
· When you ask your twins if they have to go to the bathroom, they’ll often say “no” and then have an accident two minutes later. Instead, just tell them, “It’s time to go now.” Don’t offer a choice. Keep up a regular schedule of taking them to the bathroom.
· If your twins attend preschool or daycare, coordinate your potty-training techniques with their caregivers. It’s important to maintain consistent techniques in potty-training.
· Once your children are potty-trained during the day, it’s perfectly normal if they still need diapers at night. Some children’s bodily systems just aren’t mature enough to alert them they have to “go” when they’re sleeping. Once they start waking up with dry diapers on a regular basis, you’ll know they’re ready to sleep without them.
· If your twins are experiencing a major transition in their lives—a move to a new house, a new sibling, a new preschool—it might not be the best time to introduce another new thing like toilet-training. Postpone it, if possible, until they’re not distracted by other stressors in their lives.
· Never leave your children in soiled clothing to punish them for having an accident. This can result in a sore bottom or rash, which will make them even more resistant to using the toilet.
Copyright ©2007 by Susan M. Heim. Susan is the author of It’s Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence and Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples, and Singletons .
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Should You Dress Your Twins Alike or Differently?
Most twins experts will tell you that you should always dress your twins differently. You want people to treat them as individuals, and you should encourage your twins to develop their own tastes and style. I used to agree with this, although I would still dress my boys in identical outfits if they were on sale (after all, parents of multiples need all the bargains they can get!) or if they were given as a gift (some people just can’t resist dressing twins alike!). My preference was to buy “same but similar” outfits. For instance, both kids would get an animal shirt, but one would have a lion and one an elephant. Or one shirt would be blue, while the other would be green. This worked well for several years . . . until my boys hit their threes. Now, all my theories about encouraging their individuality are being thrown out the window! The truth is, they almost always desire the same outfit and reject the other, so every day we’ve got one of them throwing a tantrum when he doesn’t get the favored apparel! Even if I let them pick out their own outfits at the store, they’ll still decide once we get home that one is “better” than the other. So, for now (at least until we get out of these quarrelsome threes), I’m throwing the parenting theories out the window and buying my twins exactly the same outfits! No more fighting and screaming when it’s time to get dressed. If my boys want to look alike, then I’m fine with it. And next year, when they enter a new “phase” and insist on being different, I’ll be fine with that, too!
Mark Madness
For twenty days each spring, 65 college basketball teams meet on courts across the nation, determined to dominate their opponents and declare themselves the champion. This is called March Madness. However, 365 days of the year, the same cutthroat level of competition is played out all over our house. Unlike the NCAA Tournament, you won’t find team players: No, in the Mark household it’s every man (or woman!) for himself. We call this “Mark Madness.”
Three Going On Thirteen
“I don’t love you anymore!” is first uttered at the age of three.
