Recommended Reading: Identical Strangers

Suppose you were adopted and decided to try to find out a little information about your birth family. In the course of your investigation, you discover that you have an identical twin that you never knew existed! And, on top of that shocking news, you learn that you were separated as infants as part of a secret study on twins. This story may seem unbelievable, but it actually happened to Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein.

In their book, Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited, we learn how these two women made this momentous discovery, their journey to learn more about their history and the study, as well as their efforts to absorb this shocking news and establish a relationship with each other. In reading their accounts, we learn more about what it means to be a twin, especially when two people share identical DNA but different life experiences. Elyse and Paula uncover startling coincidences between them, but also stark differences. This leads to the age-old question: Nature or nurture…which is more influential?

The authors are brutally honest in the book about their changing feelings toward each other. Elyse notes of her sister, “Sometimes I am elated about her appearance in my life. Other times I feel alienated by this experience, angry at the doctors for separating us, incredibly sad that Paula and I didn’t have time together growing up, just for us.” At one point, Paula notes, “Being with my twin seems to bring out the worst in me.” But by the book’s end, they find they share a bond that cannot be broken. Says Paula, “But as different as we are, we come from the same stock. In each other, we recognize a kindred spirit. Getting to know our twin and seeing the life we might have led has made us more certain of who we are. Although we don’t always fit together neatly, we are missing pieces to the same puzzle.”

Whether you’re a twin, the parent of twins or simply fascinated by twins, you’ll find Identical Strangers to be compelling reading. Learn more about this incredible book at www.identicalstrangersbook.com.

Wordless Wednesday - Hair

Hair

Children’s Flu Vaccination Day

Health Experts and Families Encourage Annual Childhood Flu Vaccination
to Reduce Flu-Related Illnesses and Deaths in Children

Families Fighting Flu and CDC Partner to Declare November 27th
“National Children’s Flu Vaccination Day”

More Than 20,000 Children Under Age Five are Hospitalized Each Year Due to the Flu

Atlanta, GA, November 27, 2007 – Families Fighting Flu, Inc. (FFF), together with the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and other health organizations are reminding parents today to get their children, and those who live with and care for them, vaccinated against influenza, or “the flu.” Vaccination is the single best means of protecting children from the flu and preventing the spread of influenza, which can lead to hospitalization and even death. To help raise awareness about the critical importance of annual pediatric influenza vaccination, November 27th has been designated as Children’s Flu Vaccination Day, which occurs during the CDC’s annual National Influenza Vaccination Week (NIVW, November 26th through December 2nd, 2007).

“Each year we hear the heart-wrenching stories of parents who have lost a child due to complications from influenza,” said CDC Director Dr. Julie Gerberding. “These stories remind us how critical it is for parents to get their children vaccinated against flu, especially those
aged six months to five years, and those with chronic health conditions such as asthma or diabetes. We have more vaccine available this year than ever before, so access to vaccine should be easy, and parents need to make this a top priority.”

Flu vaccination is encouraged anytime between September through January or later, when the influenza season typically peaks.

The flu is a serious illness, especially in children, who are two-to-three times more likely to develop influenza than adults because of their less-developed immune systems. More than 20,000 children under the age of five are hospitalized due to the flu each year, and every year children die in the United States from influenza and its complications. More than 300 children have died from influenza over the past four flu seasons alone. During the 2006-2007 flu season, of the patients for whom flu vaccination status is known, 94 percent of the children who died had not been vaccinated against the flu.

“Today we are strongly encouraging all parents to vaccinate their children against the flu,” said Richard Kanowitz, president of Families Fighting Flu. Kanowitz’s four-year-old daughter, Amanda, died suddenly in March 2004 from influenza; Amanda had not been vaccinated against the flu. “Before our daughter died, we had no idea that healthy children could die from the flu - a virus that may be avoided with a simple annual vaccination. We sincerely hope that Children’s Flu Vaccination Day will serve to educate parents about the critical importance of annual flu vaccination in children, and motivate them to get their children vaccinated as soon as possible. A simple shot could very well save your child’s life.”

About Influenza

Influenza, or “the flu,” is a highly contagious viral infection of the respiratory tract (nose, throat and lungs). The flu virus tends to spread from November to April, with most cases occurring between December and March. The flu is often confused with the common cold, but flu symptoms tend to develop quickly (usually one to four days after a person is exposed to the flu virus) and are usually more severe than the typical sneezing and congestion associated with a cold. Influenza is often accompanied with fever, headache, extreme tiredness, dry cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, and muscle aches. Nausea, vomiting and diarrhea are also common symptoms in children. A person infected with the flu virus will typically suffer from the illness for approximately seven to 10 days, with five to six days of limited activity and about three days of bed rest.

Who Should Get Vaccinated?

Any child older than 6 months old can get vaccinated against influenza. The CDC currently recommends that all children from six months up to age five get vaccinated against the flu every year, as well as all persons, including school-aged children, who want to reduce the risk of becoming ill with the flu or transmitting it to others. This includes: children with certain medical conditions; household contacts (parents, siblings, grandparents, etc.) and out-of-home caregivers of children age zero up to age five; and, children and adults who are household contacts of other high-risk individuals.

School-aged children tend to have higher rates of influenza infection because of their close contact with friends and classmates who frequently spread germs among one another. During particularly bad flu seasons, nearly 30 percent of school-aged children get sick and overall miss about 38 million school days a year. A flu vaccine can help children stay free of influenza during the flu season, and potentially help stop the spread of the virus to their families, friends, teachers and communities.

About Families Fighting Flu, Inc.

Families Fighting Flu, Inc. (FFF) is a non-profit, volunteer-based corporation established in 2004 that is made up of families and healthcare practitioners who have experienced first-hand the death of a child due to the flu, or have had a child experience severe medical complications from the flu. FFF is dedicated to educating people about the severity of influenza and the importance of vaccinating children against the flu every year. Through education and advocacy, FFF hopes to improve the rates of annual childhood influenza vaccinations and help reduce the number of childhood illnesses and deaths caused by the flu each year.

To learn when or where to get a flu vaccine, contact your health care provider or local health department.  For more information about the flu, please visit www.familiesfightingflu.org, or www.cdc.gov/flu

Candy Cane Marble

1 pound dark chocolate
1 pound white chocolate
30 small peppermint candy canes

Put dark chocolate in a microwave bowl and heat on high setting in microwave 2 to 3 minutes or until chocolate is melted and smooth.  Stir chocolate about every 30 seconds to make sure lumps are melting.  Put white chocolate in microwave bowl and heat like dark chocolate.  Put candy canes in a large freezer bag. Using a rolling pin break the candy canes into different size pieces. Place half the crushed candy canes in a strainer and shake small crumbs into dark chocolate.  Place the remaining crushed candy into strainer and shake crumbs into white chocolate.  Line a 9X9X9 baking pan with heavy aluminum foil.  Spread dark chocolate out into bottom of pan.  Spread white chocolate over the dark chocolate in pan.  Sprinkle the rest of the crushed candy canes over the top.  Cover and refrigerate for about 2 hours.  When hardened break up pieces of candy by dropping straight down on the counter.

A Timeless Christmas Gift for Your Child

Cherries In The Snow

1 can cherry pie filling
1 small jar of green Marcino cherries
1 small package chopped pecans
1/2 bag of miniature marshmallows
1 container of whip topping, thawed

Place cherry pie filling in a mixing bowl. Mix in green Marcino cherries. Add pecans and marshmallows. Fold in whip topping being sure to mix well so all ingredients are incorporated together.  Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve.

Of Mice and Martha

Every year about this time, I harvest a new crop of hope that’s been watered by an abundance of denial. I envision a holiday season infused with peace, saturated with a spirit of thankfulness and goodwill. There will be no chaos this year, no crush of time bearing down on us like a frenetic freight train. Order will prevail in my world of good things and gracious living. Martha Stewart will be proud of me.We’ll be giddy with gratitude at Thanksgiving, goes my fantasy. We’ll gather before a table tastefully turned out and groaning with good food, and I will bask in the awe accorded domestic doyennes such as Martha and me. Gone will be the snickers brought on by past disasters; my mother-in-law will eat crow along with the succulent turkey I place on her plate. The cranberries will be expertly jelled, the green beans and sweet potatoes dressed up for the occasion, and the pies mighty with meringue.

At Christmas time, there’ll be parties for hosting in my immaculately clean house. My joyfully jingle-belling children will make delightful decorations. There’ll be cookie baking and eggnog making, marshmallows for toasting and chestnuts for roasting. Loved ones will gather near, and hearts will radiate good cheer and glad tidings. It will truly be the most wonderful time of the year.

Psychiatrists have another term for such delusions, but I prefer to think of it as eternal optimism. My hopeful harvest will soon begin to wither, however, under the heat of seasonal expectations. I’ll turn to Martha for help, consulting her books for guidance. She will perch on my shoulder, a stylishly dressed angel of ambiance, whispering in my ear. Failure will not be an option. Some people excel at execution; others, like me, are dreamers, those for whom the best-laid plans of mice and Martha almost always go awry.

If tradition holds, Thanksgiving Day will dawn as gray and gelatinous as my gravy. My mistakes will be of the classic variety: the cranberries will quiver, and the beans and potatoes lie limp. The piecrusts will pucker, the meringue meander, the rolls run amok with assistance from my brawling brats. And old Tom Turkey, when pierced, will spurt ice-cold juices from the depths of his still-frozen interior.

My in-laws will leave with empty stomachs and wagging tongues, and my ruinous reputation will remain intact. By December, I’ll be walking on the dark side. We will burn the cookies and scald the eggnog. My formerly angelic offspring, their greed and wish lists growing with every commercial they watch, will grow cantankerous, shredding the decorations, tossing the tinsel and bashing each other with the bells. The dog will manage to knock over the Christmas tree almost every day. The gifts I have purchased will be hidden away so well that they are forgotten, and I will hurry out to buy more, wondering how I can be so disgustingly disorganized. My Christmas spirit will spring a leak.

Martha, now dressed in black – a Darth Vader of domesticity — will prod and nag and threaten until I am drowning in a sea of self-reproach. I will crumple under her pressure like ill-conceived origami, promising her the world. And still, she’ll want more. Peace and calm will give way to panic. I will suddenly have a much better understanding of the Grinch, and old Ebenezer Scrooge won’t seem like such a bad guy.

Yet, on Christmas Day, somewhere in the midst of all the un-Martha-like mayhem, I will be awakened early by the sharp poke of several young and eager fingers. Breathless voices still full of wonder, from children who don’t care that I’m not the queen of homemaking, will urge me to get up.“Mom,” they’ll whisper, “it’s Christmas!” And suddenly, nothing else will matter.

Later, we will gather at my in-laws, where the food is nauseatingly good. My kith and kin will promptly begin to bicker, in the crotchety, comfortable way only a close family can, over old insults and fresh resentments. Between mouthfuls, accusations will be hurled, political stances scorned and ethical standards questioned. Love will linger at its cranky, unvarnished best. And that’s a good thing.

© Jackie Papandrew 2007
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Making Time for “Me Time”

As a contributor is Rachel Hamman’s upcoming book, Mom’s Night Out: Even Inmates Get Time Off For Good Behavior, I have learned what might possibly be the most important skill for good parenting.  Taking time for myself and feeling good about it has made me a far better parent than I could have imagined.  I thought this would be the perfect way to start off my column, because “me time” is the basis of effective parenting and lifelong happiness.

As parents, we become so consumed with our new little bundles of joy that the rest of the world disappears before our eyes.  You walk, sleep and breathe your new baby, and your every thought is of that precious bundle of perfection.  You dwell on how amazing they are and count their fingers and toes twenty times.  This adoration and affection is very healthy and promotes solid bonding, but at what point does it take a decline and become less beneficial to you?

The first nerve-wracking days and sleepless nights turn into months of baby talk and feeding frenzies that will have you in tears, both from crying and laughing.  Your free time is spent doing endless loads of laundry and picking up toys so you can vacuum.  Your Sunday drives turn into carpooling and soccer games, and later your teenager borrowing your keys with a charming smile that you simply cannot refuse.  After years of practice, you’ve mastered the art of mind reading and knowing what your children want or need, or what they are up to without even asking.  You are totally confident that you are a pro at any situation your children can throw at you, so what’s left? 

Someone asks you what you like to do, what you’re passionate about, and what you do in your free time.  After moments of silence, you realize you haven’t got an answer.  For the last chunk of time in your life, you have been “Mom” and you have forgotten who the “me” is that used to be.  It happens to many parents, but fortunately there is a way to get yourself out of the rut.  There is a perfect balance between dedicating your life to being a wonderful parent, and taking a few minutes of time out to recapture the great person you were before you became a parent.  Keeping in touch with who you really are can be a life saver and will give you the tools to appreciate your children even more. 

Taking a time out and making time for yourself should come naturally, but if you are a planner, pencil it in and make sure you take it.  Tell your family when your time is going to be, and ask that they respect whatever limits you set forth.  Never feel guilty for taking some time for yourself.  It is absolutely necessary to keep you sane, and will make you a happier person in the long run.  If you have spent the last several years dedicating every waking moment to your family, they may need to adjust to you taking some time for yourself.  Explain to them what is happening and how they can help.  Tell them what you are looking for, and be proud of yourself for expressing your needs.  Your family may not even realize you need a break until you ask for one, and in most cases they will happily oblige given the right approach.

Taking time out for yourself doesn’t have to be a lengthy process, but it can be if that’s what you need.  Here are some ideas for getting the time that you need and deserve:

-          Get a manicure

-          Take a bath

-          Read a book

-          Scrapbook

-          Write in a journal or diary

-          Take a walk

-          Go shopping

-          Take in a movie

-          Eat at your favorite restaurant

-          Call up an old friend

-          Catch up on correspondence

There are a variety of things you can do without the company of your children and significant other.  It may feel strange at first, but you will learn to love the time you take for yourself.  If you have lost yourself, you will again find what it is that makes you tick.  If you are lucky enough to have kept a sense of who you are outside of your family duties, embrace what it is that makes you different, and learn something about yourself that you never knew.  Remember the saying that in order to love someone else, you must first love yourself.  The same goes for parenting, in that in order to truly be able to meet your family’s needs, you must first be able to meet your own. 

Holiday Gift Ideas: Guilt Free Gifts With Minimal Re-Gifting Opportunities

Grab this free report just in time for the holidays and get some great gift ideas for everyone on your list.

Download here

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Chocolate Raspberry Ornaments

1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
15 vanilla wafers with creme, crushed
1/3 cup seedless raspberry jam
Finely chopped toasted almonds
Toasted coconut

Melt chocolate chips until completely melted and smooth.  Allow cooling slightly. Place cream cheese in a large mixing bowl.  Pour melted chocolate over cream cheese and mix together until very smooth.  Fold in vanilla wafer crumbs being sure to cover all the crumbs with the chocolate mixture.  Refrigerate 3 to 4 hours or until chocolate is firm.  Once firm, shape chocolate mixture into balls.  Roll half the candy balls in the toasted almonds and the other half in the toasted coconut.  Store in the refrigerator to keep them from becoming too soft.

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