Foreign Adoptions - How Costly Are They ?
You cannot deny that foreign adoptions have really been on the rise in the last five years. It could be the sheer volume of information coming across the television as people sit at home and see the needy faces of children who are desperate for good, loving homes.
It might also be that couples and families find that adopting from a foreign country is a better choice because a biological parent is unlikely to try to regain custody. But there are still factors that can lead to being denied the right to adopt from that country, and you have to take them into account.
Foreign adoptions do work and work well, but there are things you must consider before jumping into the process. You will be dealing with a child from another country and possibly a kid who only speaks their native language.
There will be language barriers and customs that have to be considered. There is also the issue of transracial adoption. You may not be concerned, but you need to see how your family members will feel about the adoption of a racially different kid before dragging him or her across the ocean.
International child adoption does not come cheap. A typical one in the United States can cost upwards of fifty-thousand dollars once you factor in the agency fees, the court costs and the cost of hiring an attorney.
A foreign adoption is going to cost more than that because you will have to visit the country, sometimes more than once, and stay for a set amount of time so that the kid can become accustomed with you. As well, the necessary paperwork which will allow the kid to leave the country must be completed.
Couples find it easiest to go through the approval process for an international child adoption because some countries will not allow someone who is single to adopt a kid. If you are not in a relationship do not let this deter you.
There are countries that care more about the welfare of a child than they do about marriage contracts. Some are even Christian adoption agencies that help place children in homes with people who will love them regardless of their marital status.
Foreign adoptions can seem intimidating to some people. This is especially true if the adoptive family does not know the language of the country nor do they know the customs. But international child adoption is feasible, as evidenced by the number of adoptions that take place every day.
There will be expenses and your life and finances will be scrutinized. However, you will have the agency to help you along the way and give you an estimate of how much it will cost.
We offer a free child adoption audio gift. Learn more about foreign adoptions at our portal, and drop us a note at our domestic adoption blog.
Oatmeal Muffins
Ingredients:
¾ cup flour
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 ½ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
¾ cup uncooked oatmeal (traditional slow cooking oats)
1 teaspoon cinnamon
¼ cup butter or margarine
¾ cup buttermilk
1 egg
Instructions:
Preheat oven to 400F. Grease a 12-hole muffin tin well and set aside. Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, sugar, cinnamon and oatmeal in a large bowl. Mix together well. In a separate bowl mix together the butter, buttermilk and egg. Mix well. Gently fold into the dry ingredients. Take care not to over mix. Pour batter into 12 muffin cup tin and bake for approximately 15 to 20 minutes or until baked through. Best served warm with a little butter and jam.
How to Talk to Your Children about Race
At some point in the life of a parent, it becomes necessary to talk with your child about discrimination, prejudice or more simply, the things that make people different from one another. Whether its race, religion, culture or skin color, children are naturally curious and will ask questions. The important thing, if you are a parent, is to know what to say and how to answer their questions when the time comes.
The age of the child is one of the most important things to consider when talking to children about racial differences. Children from ages 2-3 begin to notice physical aspects of identity and gender. This is followed by curiosity about skin color, hair color and texture, eye shape and color. They may also begin to recognize cultural differences and they may show signs of “pre-prejudice” such as acting afraid, uncomfortable or avoiding or ignoring other children they perceive to be different. Three-and 4-year-olds begin to seek answers to their questions about differences. They show a greater awareness of appearances and they ask questions about where they got their own skin, hair, and eye color. Five-year-olds begin to build a group ethnic identity, as well as an individual identity within that group. They are more capable of exploring the differences and similarities between groups. They accept the use of categories and begin to look to see where they fit in. Six-to 8-year-olds begin to realize that their ethnicity is not changeable. They begin to become aware of attitudes for and against racial, religious, and cultural groups and they are highly influenced by significant adults, peers, and the media. Cultural pride may also begin to develop at this age. Nine- to 12-year-olds become more aware of the attitudes and behaviors within institutional settings and they also begin to get a clear understanding of the struggles against bias and are more willing to discuss culture, race, and differences.
Once we understand the capabilities of our children to understand our answers, we must then decide what to tell them! There is no perfect script and ultimately your discussion will probably not be perfect, but opening the door to communication is the first step to stopping hate, prejudice and inequality and to opening your child’s eyes to the diversity around them. Regardless of your child’s age, you can use the following pointers to help you discuss this difficult topic.
Do not pretend everyone is the same: Children are not blind to the fact that people look, dress and speak differently from them. They need simple, truthful and accurate information that addresses those differences and helps to reduce their fearfulness or hesitation.
Talking about prejudice does not increase its prevalence: Children do not learn prejudice from having open, honest discussions about physical differences. They learn prejudice from the media, peers and influential figures in their lives. If you are accurate with your information and you help your child to be consistent with their actions regarding discrimination then your child will be more likely to know what to do and how to behave when confronted with a situation that requires them to act appropriately.
Discuss what is different as well as what is the same: It is important that children understand that what makes us different, makes us who we are. Although it is important that we focus on inner qualities more often than outer, we should not ignore the differences; rather we should attempt to explain that often customs, manner of dress or culture can be expressed in many ways.
Treat all questions with respect: Despite being awkward, embarrassing and at times, even humorous, you should try not to silence your child or to make them feel that they asked a forbidden question. This may keep them from discussing it with you in the future.
Answer questions clearly and honestly: Try to understand what they are really asking and give short, simple answers that children can understand. Try not to over explain and if you don’t know an answer, say so. If you give a wrong answer, correct yourself. Give children simple, factual answers to questions rather than general “all-encompassing’ statements.
Despite being a challenging conversation, it is an accomplishment as a parent just to start a dialogue about such an important and controversial topic. The more we know about how to talk to our children about the differences in our world, the better we can equip them to become open-minded, unbiased adults. We as parents can give our children the tools to make their world a more loving, accepting place just by providing them a comfortable place to voice their questions and concerns, and an ear to listen to what they have to say.
Lisa Smith is the Owner/CEO of Regionz Kidz, a multi-cultural infant & toddler clothing line featuring ethnically diverse characters and designs. She publishes a blog on her website http://www.regionzkidz.com that discusses cultural diversity & children & is a frequent guest blogger on other blogs and websites regarding parenting and children’s issues. She is also a monthly contributor to Educated Mommy Magazine. You can contact Lisa directly at: lisa@regionzkidz.com
How To Devise Your Own After School Program
Giving the best to ones child is the most pressing desire of each and every parent. At times however, one may land up with a school that does not offer any extracurricular activities. Though there is some merit in having a professionally trained person guide and oversee the activities of the children, after school the parent can also develop activities. In fact at times the parent is a better judge at what kind of exposure is correct for the child.
There is a special role that a parent can play in the overall academic, physical and social development of a child. Here are some tips on what activities to give importance to and options for various other activities that a child may be interested in.
Needless to say the school and the assignments should take precedence over any other fun-filled or special interest activities. The best way to emphasize the importance of these to your child is to ensure that the days quota of reading, writing and assignments is over before other activities start. If while doing so, you discover that your child has a special interest in a specific academic area like robots or space or animals, do not shy away from aiding the process of discovery and exploration. With the Internet abound with information encourage your child to learn more and share with you the discoveries. You shall be surprised with the wealth of knowledge that your little baby will emerge with.
Social development can be given an impetus by promoting ideas on clubs. These could be reading clubs, library clubs, debate clubs and the like. These can allow your child to participate in story reading sessions and can instill a sense of sharing and being together. Some clubs can also be formed with the purpose of community service in mind and could take on tasks like clean-the-city drives. Social programs can also give your child her first experience in charity, community service and suffering. Volunteering for such programs will enable her to have a sense of achievement.
If you would like to further your child in the pursuit of sports and physical activities, then you could consider enrolling your young tyke in a sports club. Dancing is another form of physical activity that allows for a release of all the energy that is pent up among the kids. The gym can also be a good source of release.
Another option is to involve your child in household activities like cooking, cleaning, watering the plants etc. This will give you a helping hand and at the same time will infuse a familial bonding among the family members.
From the above it is obvious that the need for a school that ahs extracurricular activities after school is not an all-pervading requirement. Rather the absence of the same allows you to get more involved in the all round development of you child.
To find more information about schooling and after school programs visit http://school-answers.com
Parenting Challenge: What’s Wrong with Kids Today?
We seldom want to look at the statistics about suicide in children and young people, but they are important to consider. As parents and educators we tend to ignore this subject, pretending it doesn’t happen in “good” families. The belief is that suicide happens only
in troubled families to troubled children.
At the ChildSpirit Conference I attended in November, Joseph Chilton Pearce, author of numerous books including The Magical Child, gave us a startling statistic. “Suicide is the third leading cause of death among children and young people”. This number includes only the young people who succeed, not those who attempt and live.
He said this is unprecedented in the history of humankind. Never before have we witnessed children ending their own life in such numbers.*Additional figures from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: “Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15-to-24-year-olds, and the sixth leading cause of death for 5-to-14-year-olds.”
These are shocking statistics! They cry out for us to wake and to pay attention. Most of us never think of children ages 5 - 14 committing suicide.
Child and youth suicide is important because it is the tip of the iceberg. What lies beneath the water’s surface are all the other expressions of emotional dis-ease in children. These include ADD, teen’s dropping out of school, over-weight children, depression, anxiety, excessive time playing video games, defiance, tantrums and emotional upsets.
The fact that suicide rates in young people are higher than they have ever been in the human history indicates the pervasiveness of the problem. It demands our attention, not because your child will commit suicide some day, but because your child is being raised in
the same emotional cultural stew.
In the last two months, I heard about the suicides of two men in their early twenties that shocked their families and those who knew them. Both men were highly successful and were leaders in their field. To everyone around them, they appeared happy and to be living full lives.
Yet something was seriously wrong with their internal experience of themselves and of life. Reason tells us, suicide is not something that is done lightly and for insignificant reasons. It is an act of desperation, of seeing no other way. It is the ultimate expression of profound loss, futility, failure, powerlessness, hopelessness, or anger.
Our culture tends to ignore emotional pain and discomfort. We ask children to suppress their unhappy feelings and then place extreme pressures on them to succeed and to meet society’s and our standards. We ask them to be someone other than who they are, and then wonder why they do irrational, hurtful things.
We all love and enjoy the innocence and tenderness of young children. We want them to keep it forever. This innocence and tenderness is based on their emotional sensitivity, their connection with their feelings and their awareness of the feelings of others.
Acts of suicide and violence in children are cries for us to wake up as individuals and as a society. What’s wrong with young people today? Nothing. Children are as loving, brilliant, and joyous as ever.
What’s wrong with young people are their relationships with important adults in their lives, their relationship with themselves, traditional models of education and the emotional environment in which they are being raised. When we ignore a child’s emotional wholeness, we do it at our peril.
In order for young people to flourish emotionally, they need several things. They need safe relationships where they can be who they are and where they can honestly talk about their needs, desires and feelings.
They need internal strategies to handle the emotionally painful times. They need people who believe in them always. They need a strong, positive ground of being within themselves.
How can you give this to your child and to your students? Begin today to pay attention to the emotional wholeness of your child. Gain understanding and develop approaches that nurture his positive experience of himself and of life. Give him the nurturing and tools he needs for a joyous, fulfilling life.
Your child’s emotional wholeness is the foundation for her life. When her emotional wholeness is strong and clear, she can accomplish so much and be fulfilled and happy as a person. This is the most important gift you can give your child and your students.
You lay an emotional foundation for your child, whether you are aware of it or not. Every interaction with your child and every experience she has in life creates the emotional environment in which she develops.
These experiences help her build strong emotional resources or they weaken her internal resilience and ability to flourish. This is true whether your child is six weeks, 6 years or 16 years old.
Commit today to making your child’s emotional wholeness a priority. Then watch what new things you discover and what experiences occur in your child’s life and in your own.
Connie Allen, M.A. of Joy with Children. Connie helps parents and educators who are unsure how to best empower their child. . For information on how you can nurture the joyous inner spirit of children, subscribe to her free e-newsletter “Joy with Children”. Visit her blog.
Walnut and Date Tea Cakes
Ingredients:
1 cup brown sugar
2 large eggs
½ cup unbleached all-purpose flour
1/3 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup chopped walnuts
½ cup chopped dates
Instructions:
Preheat oven to 400F. Grease 2 mini muffin tins (if you don’t have mini muffin tins use one standard size muffin tin). In a large bowl lightly beat the eggs. Mix in the sugar. In a separate bowl mix the flour, baking powder and salt and add the dry mixture to egg/sugar mixture. Gently fold in the chopped walnuts and dates. Spoon batter into each muffin cup and bake for approximately 10 minutes (15 for large muffins). Turn onto a wire rack to cool through.
Around the World for Easter
This year, March is the month for Easter! Religiously it is celebrated as the resurrection of Jesus after his crucifixion, and secularly, it is celebrated with colored eggs, chocolate candies and stuffed bunnies. Easter is called a “moveable” Holiday because it is unfixed in relation to the civil calendar and follows the cycle of the moon. In the West, Easter always falls on a Sunday anytime from March 22nd – April 25,th and the rule since the Middle Ages has been that Easter is observed on the Sunday after the first full moon. Whether celebrating in the religious manner with the traditions of the church, or by decorating eggs and hiding them throughout the house, most families in the United States, as well as other countries around the world celebrate the Easter Holiday in some way or another.
• In Canada, eggs and other treats are distributed by the Easter Bunny. The modern belief that eggs are delivered by a rabbit known as the Easter Bunny comes from the legend of the Goddess Eostre. So much did a lowly rabbit want to please the Goddess that he laid the sacred eggs in her honor, gaily decorated them, and humbly presented them to her. She was so pleased at the gift that she wished all humankind to share in her joy. In honor of her wishes, the rabbit went through the entire world and distributed these little decorated gifts of life.
• In the UK, families exchange chocolate eggs on Easter Sunday. They also enjoy a traditional Sunday Roast Dinner and eat foods like Simnel cake, a fruit cake with eleven marzipan balls representing the eleven faithful apostles. Hot cross buns are also eaten through Holy Week and the Easter period. In Northern England and Ireland, families gather together and roll decorated eggs down steep hills.
• Norway has a more contemporary Easter tradition that involves the solving of murder mysteries that are broadcast on television and printed in the local newspapers and magazines.
• In Finland, Sweden and Denmark, small children dressed up as witches and collect candy and treats door-to-door, in exchange for decorated pussy willows. This mixture comes from the old Orthodox tradition in which houses are blessed with willow branches, and the Scandinavian Easter witch tradition.
• People in Germany and the Netherlands light Easter fires on Easter Sunday at sunset.
• In Hungary, perfume or perfumed water is sprinkled in exchange for an Easter egg.
No matter our religious denomination, ethnicity or culture, we can broaden our horizons and add some new experiences to our own family traditions. Whether we try some new foods for Easter dinner, roll our eggs down the steepest hill in our neighborhood, or read a mystery story aloud as a family, experiencing different and unique things together can lead to some treasured family memories.
Lisa Smith is the Owner/CEO of Regionz Kidz, a multi-cultural infant & toddler clothing line featuring ethnically diverse characters and designs. She publishes a blog on her website http://www.regionzkidz.com that discusses cultural diversity & children & is a frequent guest blogger on other blogs and websites regarding parenting and children’s issues. She is also a monthly contributor to Educated Mommy Magazine. You can contact Lisa directly at: lisa@regionzkidz.com
Divorced Dads Tips: Christmas and Holiday Access: Long distance Holiday Solutions
What do the courts have to say about an ex-wife who does not answer the phone, place children on the phone to speak to them about Christmas and Birthday gifts, to confirm that they have arrived?
What can you do when you call everyday and do not get an answer? What do you do when you want the kids to visit and your ex-wife says “take me to court.”
Sometimes these orders happen because the divorced dad does not even bother to show up in Family Court for the hearing. That’s always a bad idea. Here’s why according to one such father. She initially held court without me to set the visitation at reasonable and I have not seen my children since.
Well, part of what the problem is, you have not got really the right kind of order in order to make the kind of progress that you want. For example, as long as you just have an order that says reasonable visitation, what does reasonable mean? Well, that is all open to interpretation. What you need is you need an order that gives you specific access, specific dates, and specific times and if she is disobeying that, then you have got to be very vigorous in taking her in each time in order to demonstrate to the court that there is reasonable grounds for coming back to court.
But it can get even worse when you and Mom live in two different states or provinces.
When you live in a different state or province than where the kids are living, it is not like you can walk into that court in the jurisdiction where the kids live. You live in a totally different area of the country. What do you do in a case like that?
First, the unfortunate reality is this: Because that kid is living in a different jurisdiction, that is where all the action is going to be taking place. This is one of the biggest problems that happen when you have a move away and it can be the most frustrating one. The best suggestion that I can give a parent in that situation is you have got to go follow your child, and nail down the jurisdiction with a non-removal order.
Not having such an order is often why the problem has come about in the first place, as Judges don’t let move-away’s happen too easily. And when they do, usually you can really nail down the jurisdiction if you follow.
The reason that you have got to go follow ultimately is because the fight is going to be happening in a court where that that child is. If you are not there, picture this that you use procedure that allows you to put paperwork in at your court then your paperwork goes and it travels to the other courts. So, it goes into court where the mother lives. Here is what is going to happen. The mother is going to be heard with her lawyer and who is going to be speaking for you? Your paperwork.
And who will be speaking for your ex-wife? Her lawyer.
It is possible, but again more often than not, when we are talking about inter-jurisdictional matters, if you are not actually there at the hearing it has been our experience that you are not taken in seriously.
However, when you turn up at these hearings, I mean even if you have to travel from where it is that you are living then participate, you are taken darn seriously.
The judge usually looks at someone like that if they have traveled a great distance to come and attend at a hearing that they are much, much more serious. We do understand that there is always is going to be financial constraints.
If you’re bothering to spend money on a lawyer, you will also want to make sure that that lawyer is really advocating for you by being there and watching that process. Sometimes you do have to step in and say, “Your Honor, I would like to just add to what my lawyer or attorney has just said,” so that you can expand on things the Judge needs to know.
You know your case better than anyone. You are living it. Your lawyer does not necessarily know it to the degree that you do.
One imperfect solution is virtual visitation. It is getting ordered by the courts. It is not a perfect solution, but it is at least a foothold in order to get consistent contact in some manner and some contact is always going to be better than no contact.
This is what virtual visitation is: Basically the child will be sitting in front of a computer with a camera and then dad or one of the grandparents are sitting at a computer in their home in a totally different part of the country also in front of a camera.
It is a video call - It is so much more intimate and so much more fun and interesting to have that kind of a visit with a child than just a phone call. There are throughout the United States and now there is legislation that has gone through, it depends on your state. We are hoping to actually get a pretty amazing guest on our regular teleseminars in the future.
This gentleman actually developed the software for virtual visitation and he has also put together legislative procedures and so on and has been responsible for changing the legislation in several states all over the US to include this as part of the family law within that jurisdiction. So, it became part of a court order so that if mom moved away or if dad moved away, he could still ask for virtual visitation over and above the summer holidays.
If you find yourself in these situations you will need mentoring and ideas in order to make progress in your difficult Family Court matter, which is why we have weekly calls where you can get the help you need.
Danny Guspie - Executive Director of Fathers Resources International can help you learn the successful strategies of fathers who have won in Family Court. Join us on our weekly calls at
DivorcedDadWeekly.com where we will share with you what works for successful divorced dads.
Wordless Wednesday - Mom & Son
Honey-Do Salad
Ingredients:
½ C. honey
¼ C. frozen, limeade concentrate, thawed
2 tsp. poppy seeds (optional)
1 C. strawberries cut into chunks
1 C. kiwi, cut into chunks
1 C. melon (cantaloupe, watermelon, or honeydew) cut into chunks
1 C. grapes, whole or cut in half
¼ C. slivered almonds, toasted
In a medium bowl, mix honey, limeade concentrate, and poppy seeds. Add fruit and toss gently, so as not to bruise the tender fruit chunks. Sprinkle the top with almonds. Serve in individual dessert bowls or in one large bowl and allow self-serving. This dish appeals to everyone. Kids love it and it is nice as a dessert after a romantic meal.
How To Strengthen Family Life
There are three aspects to family life which can be used to strengthen it: family meals, family projects and family rituals.
Young people can find a lot of material on how to get married but very little on how to stay married. In these words a shrewd student once characterized the current literature on the family. There is much truth in this observation. Nowhere do our efforts to promote successful family life fail more conspicuously than in the lack of emphasis upon the family as a project in group living, and the effort to find and encourage techniques in family group living. The scattered attempts that have been made in this direction tend to be specialized, and carry with them little implication of their larger importance.
For those who wish to resist the trend of the weakening of the family how shall we counsel them? These are some of the things which families so minded can do. What techniques can be cultivated to contribute to the ends they seek?
The Family Meal
The family meal is a recurrent and fundamental aspect of the family’s life. And what happens in its course is more than a dietary procedure. It is while seated around the dining-room table that the family may be at its greatest ease, both physically and psychologically; that it is held together for definite periods of time; that it becomes engrossed in common objectives; and that it has fewer distractions than at most other times.
Family Projects
If most contemporary families no longer work together in the common task of operating a farm or small business, there are many leisure-time projects in which they may engage as family groups. Modern life is rich with the variety of such projects that are available, and the automobile combines with the shortened working day and week to make feasible participation in them.
The list of such projects is endless: building a vacation shack, a family orchestra, a trailer or camping trip in summer, a family basketball team, a vacant-lot garden, a family art exhibit, barber-shop harmony around the piano, father-son workshops in the basement, a family reading circle, the breeding of dogs or other animals, church activity, a golfing foursome, family games, a flower garden, or a small business as a side issue.
Family Rituals
In our efforts to study family life from within, as it were, our attention came to focus some years ago upon certain forms of family behavior which were so recurrent as to suggest the term habit and yet which had additional aspects or features not usually associated with that term. They were habits, plus.
Upon close examination, the plus included two things. First, the repetition had to be exact. It isn’t enough to do the thing about or approximately the same way each time; it has to be done exactly the same way. Second, this exact repetition is accompanied by a definite sense of approval. This is the right, the proper, way.
We came finally to designate these habits plus as family rituals, and we defined them as patterns of family life, noticeable for their precise repetition, even to the point of becoming quite rigid, like a rite or ceremony in religious worship.
Rituals are of many different kinds. They grow out of the family’s collective experience, and may develop in connection with almost any aspect of family life. Most of them, however, cluster around holidays, anniversaries, meals, vacations, religious worship, entertainment, and group ways of using leisure time. Often they are a heritage from the preceding generation, modified perhaps to fit into altered circumstances.
Following the above guidelines, family life can be greatly strengthened if a little time and effort are put into family meals, projects and rituals.
Revealed: Step-By-Step Secrets On What To Say And Do To Stop Any Marriage Problem.
Click Here For Free Online Ebook
http://www.marriageproblem.net/
Read the Instructions or Else!
Kenzie’s dream was a lofty one — to sit upon her own throne on her 9 th birthday and unwrap her gifts. So she talked me into buying a Strawberry Shortcake inflatable chair to be used to fulfill not only her royal ambitions but another dream as well. When we moved into our current home four years ago she exacted a promise that I would decorate her room in pink. As you guessed it is still blue, but for one Strawberry Shortcake throw pillow, a Strawberry Shortcake poster, and an inflatable pink throne she would consider her room officially decorated until she Read more
Saint Patrick’s Day: Is Love only for the Lucky?
Hunter and Haley have been married nearly ten years. They already have two preschoolers. To outsiders, their marriage would appear to be a success, but not everything is as appearances suggest. Before they were married Hunter wanted to go overseas and teach English in a two-thirds world country. Haley resisted the idea, citing health concerns, poor pay, and the lack of good schools for their children. To accommodate his wife, Hunter reluctantly gave up his dream and has spent his career in a civil service position instead.
Today he finds himself struggling with anger and resentment toward her. He seems obsessed with the past, imagining what life could have been like it he had not listened to her. “If only,” he says day after day to himself. “If only I had followed my heart.”
Jack and Courtney have been married seven years. Jack comes home from work one day and finds the house strangely quiet. When he walks up to their bedroom, he discovers Courtney’s closet is empty. Bewilderment soon gives way to panic, and Jack begins furiously searching the house for some clue to what has happened. In his hunt, he at first misses the obvious - a note pinned to a throw pillow on the bed. Trembling, he picks it up and scans its contents.
“Dear Jack, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. But it’s the only way I know to get your attention. I’ve been trying to tell you for a long time that I couldn’t go on with things the way they are. But you wouldn’t listen. Maybe now you will. Don’t try to contact me. Right now I just need space. Don’t worry about Lexi; I have her with me. Love, Courtney.
Jim and Jen are on the third day of their honeymoon in the Caribbean. Seated on the balcony of their hotel room overlooking the crystal-green ocean and coral white beaches, Jen believes it is an ideal setting for love. But Jim is unusually quiet.
“What’s wrong dear?” she asks, reaching out for his hand.
Jim feigns a smile. “Nothing, sweetheart.”
“No, really, something’s bothering you. Please tell me what it is.”
Jim looks away, a pained expression on his face. “I’ve been struggling the last few days. I…I’m not sure I should have married you, I just don’t know if I love you or not.”
Jen stares at her new husband for a moment, then she runs inside the hotel room. Jim can hear muffled sobs. He feels awful for what he just said but it is true. At last his agony is out.
What do these three stories have in common? They’re stories of marriages that have gone from “the better” to the “the worse.” They’re stories of people who need to learn to love each other again and to discover that God’s plan for their lives includes the person they married “for keeps.”
Many people believe that lifetime love is only for the lucky or the strong. God’s design for marriage is for every couple to know true intimacy, deep fulfillment, and the exhilarating experience of being loved just for who they are.
Yes, the design for marriage and the reality of marriage often don’t match. Each year millions of couples choose divorce, adultery, or an armed truce as a means of coping with a disappointing marriage. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Is Love only for the Lucky? No, instead hope, love, grace, a fresh start, a second chance - these are the essentials of renewing a marriage when the going gets tough.
When Bob was in high school he worked nights as a janitor in the Department of Agriculture building. Besides cleaning bathrooms and emptying wastebaskets, he was assigned a highly critical task: buffing the tile floors on the perimeter of the office complex.
You might not be familiar with what a buffing machine looks like. It resembles an upright vacuum cleaner with handlebars and a giant circular disk on the bottom the size of a manhole cover. As the disk spins around at the speed of light, it polishes the floor.
Using only one finger, the foreman demonstrated the relative ease of operating this high-powered machine. He slid the machine effortlessly back and forth across the tile. Together, he and the buffing machine resembled an Olympic figure skating pair, gliding on ice, responding in perfect synchronization to each other’s moves.
“There they go, Katie. This is the last move in the compulsories. They’re going to attempt a double axle. Yes! They’ve done it! A perfect 10!
“Do you think you can handle it?” the foreman asked.
“Piece of cake,” Bob replied.
As the foreman waved good-night, Bob swaggered up to the machine like John Wayne approaching a horse. Bob grabbed both handles, closed his eyes, and squeezed the trigger. The machine bolted away from me like a crazed Doberman pinscher on a short leash.
Bob desperately tried to hang on as the machine careened from one side of the hallway to the other. It would bang into one side of the wall and then another. Bob consoled himself with the Russian proverb, “Every beginning is hard.” In this case it was brutal.
Then the worst case scenario happened. As Bob went past the head supervisor’s office (the Grand Poobah of the Agriculture Department), his buffing machine leaped from the floor onto his carpet. Bob stood helpless, unable to react as the buffing machine whirled round and round, driving all the dirt, wax, and foreign particles from the hallway deep into the plush pile of the chief executive’s carpet. Bob buffed the boss’ rug! Stunned, he left from the office before he could do any further damage, dragging the machine with him.
The next day he came to work prepared to pick up his last paycheck. As he approached the foreman, a grin crept across his face. “I see you had a little problem last night.”
“I guess it got away from me.” he mumbled.
“Don’t worry. I cleaned it up before work this morning. The supervisor doesn’t know anything about it. You’ll get the hang of it.”
For reasons he still doesn’t understand he was given a second chance when he really didn’t deserve one. That’s the nature of grace.
You may have been pummeled, punched, and dragged down the hallway by the disappointments in your marriage. The fabric of your relationship maybe marred by deep, ugly, and stubborn memories. You may be all but certain it’s over. That’s where the power and strength of your vows can carry you through the tough times you’re facing. You can learn to love again. It’s not just luck.
Your promises to each other can put your marriage back on track. But to turn “for worse” into “for better” you will need to give and receive grace from one another. You will need to put the past behind and allow love to be rekindled. You will need to go beyond disappointment and despair and seek the beauty and reality of true intimacy. Fortunately, God is in the buiness of grace and will help you each step of the way.
A friend of ours was going through a difficult phase in his marriage when he came home one day to find the oak coat rack standing in the middle of the hallway. His wife had covered it with yellow ribbons and placed on it a note that read, “Who cares if it’s not a real oak tree? Any old oak tree will do. I love you.” His encounter with her unconditional love was a breakthrough. From that day on, their marriage started to change, for better.
On this St. Patrick’s Day remember love isn’t for the lucky; it’s for people of grace.
by Cheryl and Bob Moeller
Bob is President of MarriageVine. They have a national marriage ministry including a conference you can check out on www.forkeepsconference.com. Bob has written seven books and together they have written two books on Marriage. They have been married for 28 years and have 6 children ranging in age from 9 to 25.
Cheryl is also a stand up comic for moms. You can check out her syndicated columns and appearances at www.momlaughs.blogspot.com
Honey-Mustard Chicken
Ingredients:
Nonstick vegetable oil spray for the pan
4 (6 oz.) boneless and skinless chicken breasts, trimmed and lightly pounded to uniform thickness
Salt and pepper
2 Tbsp. Dijon mustard, preferably whole grain
2 Tbsp. honey
2 ½ C. fresh breadcrumbs
4 Tbsp. olive oil, divided
Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Coat a baking sheet with vegetable oil spray. Season chicken with salt and pepper. Combine the mustard and honey in a shallow dish. Spread the breadcrumbs in another dish. Dip each breast in the mustard to coat on both sides. Dip both sides of each breast in the crumbs, patting them to make them adhere. Set aside on a plate. In a large skillet, heat 2 Tbsp. oil over medium heat, until the oil is very hot but not smoking. Add 2 chicken breasts and cook until the undersides are golden brown, about 2 minutes. Turn and brown the others sides, about 2 minutes more. Transfer to the baking sheet. Repeat with the remaining 2 Tbsp. oil and breasts. Bake the breasts on the baking sheet until they feel firm when pressed in the centers, about 10 minutes. Serve hot with your favorite side dishes.
Mr. Clean Magic Erasers
This is one of the must-have innovations of the 21st century. The best product for housecleaning since the vacuum cleaner. When I first bought them I was a little skeptical since no one else I knew used them.
But after experiencing the amazing ease that the tough grime came off my stovetop with I was impressed. After the stove I thought, “What else could I use these on?” I went after the refrigerator door and my white walls. To be clear I used a new (white) one on these tasks so as not to get any of my stove grime on them. I was impressed with how it got in the invisible ridges everyone’s fridges have and how the walls were left very clean after I got done with them. Read more
Noah’s Ark Stuff Animals
photo credit: woodleywonderworks
Stuffed animals that your child can stuff themselves with cute little outfits to go along with your child’s hobbies.
When the postman came to our house my soon to be 4 year old son was so excited. He loves it when mommy gets prizes in the mail. Well little did he know that he would be getting a prize himself today. 
Read more
Adoptive Families Fears Adoption Failure
In most cases knowing how things are going to proceed can take the worry out of the entire process. In the case of adoptive families trying to pursue their dream of having a child, knowing is one thing, yet the reality is quite another.
They have to make important decisions, such as whether to go through an international child adoption agency, or perhaps domestic adoptions would be the better route to follow. Do they have enough money to pay for the paper work, agency fees and court fees? Will they be approved for the adoption? These are real fears that can add tremendous pressure.
For singles and same sex couples looking to adopt a child, the process and laws can be horrific. Some states are actively pursuing legislation that prevents single women, single men or same sex couples from being able to adopt a child from a state adoptions agency or even from a private agency.
People against singles or same sex couples believe that the kid will suffer from emotional and psychological damage by having these people as parents. However, there is no proof that they would not be loving role models or that they would inflict psychological damage.
Adoptive families also have to worry about biological parents trying to take back the children after the bond has been established between the adoptive family and the child. It is a real concern, as evident by the slew of court cases where a biological parent has changed his or her mind.
In some cases, the father was never told about the kid and consequently, did not give up his parental rights. Both parents, unless there is no way to find the father or there are extenuating circumstances, must sign away their paternal rights to the adoptive family.
There are also the rigorous rounds of paper work, interviews and home studies that must be performed before the adoptive families are allowed to take custody of their kid. The expenses can be enough to deter anyone when you are looking at thousands of dollars for fees, court costs and the cost of hiring an adoption attorney.
Many people find that they can not afford the process by simply saving and must take out loans to cover all of the expenses. But for those who manage to stick with it and can afford the cost, it is worth all of the hassle and money just to have a kid.
We offer a free child adoption audio gift. Learn more about adoptive families at our portal, and drop us a note at our domestic adoption blog.
Are Your Household Cleaners Safe?
There is nothing more frightening than a child making his or her way into your household cleaning supplies. It’s a parent’s worse nightmare! To this end, it is important to find alternative ways to clean a home without jeopardizing the health of your children or your family. We are all trying to become more environmentally aware of the dangers of toxins, not only in our home but as it relates to polluting our air, waters, and landscape.
Are your household cleaners safe? If not, here are some measures you can take to make your home a healthier one.
Vinegar, Borax, Lemon Juice, Olive Oil, Salt, and Baking Soda are all the ingredients you can use to clean your entire home. They are safe, non-toxic, and can do just as good a job as your more toxic household cleaners.
Let’s begin with windows. Instead of using a popular brand of glass cleaner, use water with vinegar and lemon juice to spray onto your windows. Vinegar can also be used to clean surfaces in your kitchen and bathroom; just add salt and water. If the oven needs to be cleaned, use liquid soap, Borax and warm water. Borax can also be used as a disinfectant in hot water as well as for cleaning toilets.
Polish your furniture with olive oil and lemon juice. You can also use lemon juice to polish copper kettles; just add a bit of salt. For use in the bathroom, use baking soda and warm water. This can also be used to unclog the drain by pouring the baking soda down the drain with a cup of vinegar.
At a time when pollutants are contributing to the depletion of the ozone layer; while gas and oil fumes are literally killing our natural resources; it is time to take a hard look at what we can do as individuals to decrease the toxins from our air and water. Perhaps if we begin to use alternative methods to using brand named household cleaners, we can send a clear and definitive message to these companies that toxins are no longer an acceptable form to be used in any capacity. It all begins with our taking a stand; it all begins at home.
Tender Beefy Macaroni Meal
Ingredients:
1 Tbsp. butter
1 ½ C. uncooked macaroni
1 lb. lean ground beef
2 C. tomato juice
1 medium onion, chopped
½ tsp. garlic powder
½ tsp. dried oregano, crumbled
¼ tsp. chili powder
Salt and pepper
1 ½ C. grated cheddar cheese
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Melt butter in large skillet over medium heat. Add macaroni and stir to coat. Add beef and cook until brown, about 10 minutes. Pour off drippings. Stir in tomato juice. Bring to boil. Mix in onion, garlic powder, oregano, and chili powder. Season the mixture with salt and pepper. Transfer to a 9 x 13 inch baking dish. Cover and bake until macaroni is tender, about 20 minutes. Top with cheese. Bake uncovered until cheese melts, about 10 minutes.
The Benefits of an Aromatherapy Accessory
Aromatherapy is beautiful because it combines both extraordinarily beautiful fragrances along with healing powers. Untold millions of people have experienced the power of the aromatherapy treatment and they feel that this is a beautiful way to heal; because everything associated with it is beautiful.
In order to treat the patient properly, an essential oils need to be circulated in the right combination. This is normally done with the help of diffusers whose job is to spread the fragrance all around the room.
What are the Main Aromatherapy Accessories?
One of the main important aromatherapy accessories is the clay pot diffuser, that kind of reminds us of our grandmother’s era. Other important accessories would be storage bottles and boxes, burners, jars, containers of all sizes, oil diffusers and essential oil dispensers.
Why Would You Need Aromatherapy Accessories?
Storage bottles and boxes; these boxes are generally used for the storage of essential oils and are built out of alder wood. It’s quite common to have these boxes exquisitely carved and polished in natural colors. Before you decide what type of box you want, check out how many compartments you will require, so you can store the maximum number of oils in it.
Bottles and Jars; these types of an aromatherapy accessories are used for storage of oils. The oils should be stored in the right type of jar in order to prevent contamination from the sun, air and/or light. Glass jars are usually a better choice that plastic. Sometimes the essential oils may erode the plastic and thereby corrupting it.
Electric Diffusers; this is considered one of the most important aromatherapy accessories because it helps in the diffusing of the smell for their respective person so it can be inhaled. These types of diffusers are available in a great variety, each having its own advantages and disadvantages. Some experts would suggest that you never buy something just because it looks beautiful. Check out how practical it is and then focus on the aesthetics. Don’t get swayed by the beauty of the electric diffuser; rather, check it’s utility before deciding to purchase one.
Dispensers; dispensers are critical aromatherapy accessories. Without proper oil dispensers, you will run the risk of having the whole bottle of oil contaminated. The pipette should be such that it can be removed for washing and then used with extreme care so as not to allow oxygen to get to the oils and spoil them.
A good set of accessories will help preserve your essential oils could for a long time and at the same time, save you the trouble of changing the contents ever so often.
Kerry Ng is a successful Webmaster and publisher of The Aromatherapy Info Blog For more great helpful information about aromatherapy visit The Aromatherapy Info Blog
Sweetie Pie Potatoes
Ingredients:
1 (17 oz.) can sweet potatoes
1 /4 C. honey
2 Tbsp. brown sugar
2 Tbsp. butter
Directions:
Drain sweet potatoes arrange in greased shallow baking dish. In small saucepan, combine honey, brown sugar, and butter. Bring to a boil. Pour over sweet potatoes. Bake at 375 F. for 30 minutes.
Encouraging Your Child To Read
How many times do you grab a good book, pull your child or children into your lap or snuggle on the couch and read to them? So many of us are guilty of never finding the time, when reading is such an important skill for children to learn. We as parents have the greatest influence over whether or not they begin to learn or choose to learn to read. We can encourage them to learn to read by making books and reading an important part of their life from day one.
“Reading aloud with children is known to be the single most important activity for building the knowledge and skills they will eventually require for learning to read.”
— Marilyn Jager Adams
Reading offers so many valuable things to children. Here are just a few:
1. Reading is entertaining. Do you think they always had cable television wired to most every house in America, well of course not? Great literature was a popular concept many years ago, much more so than it is today and reading was a favorite past time of almost everyone. Why not make that the case for your child by starting them out reading at an early age and continuing to encourage them to read over the span of their childhood.
2. Reading encourages learning. Reading to your child encourages them to want to learn and gives them the opportunity to have their curiosity stirred by new ideas and concepts, such as how people live differently in different places, how things are made, or where things came from. We can use reading to teach about cultures, traditions and the similarities we all share. So many questions can be formed in the mind of a child as you read to them, thus encouraging them to dig in and find out more!
3. Reading increases your child’s vocabulary. If you want to ensure that your child begins to talk at the right age, learns to say your name, the names of their family members and even things out in the world, you can help them to do so by reading to them. Reading to a child begins teaching them and exposing them to a wide vocabulary, even as a baby. Many doctors encourage women to even read to their babies while they are still in their womb.
4. Reading gives your child knowledge. Knowledge about the world, people, themselves, everything you can think of. Thousands of ideas, topics, themes and concepts can be found in written form in books, on billboards, or even on the side of your morning cereal box. Knowledge is all around us and we consume it by reading it. Encouraging your child to read allows them to soak up all this knowledge.
Lisa Smith has a BA in psychology, & is the Owner of Regionz Kidz (www.regionzkidz.com,) a multi-cultural infant and toddler clothing line with ethnically diverse characters and designs. She publishes a blog on the Regionz Kidz website that features articles about cultural diversity and children & she is a guest blogger on several other websites and blogs relating to parenting and children’s issues . She is also a monthly contributor to Educated Mommy Magazine. You can contact Lisa directly at: lisa@regionzkidz.com
Sweetheart Cake
Ingredients:
2/3 cup sugar
2/3 cup light brown sugar
3/4 cup butter
3 eggs
1 large bar baking chocolate
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 ½ cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
Instructions:
Preheat oven to 350F. Lightly great a 13 x 9 inch baking pan. In a large bowl beat butter, sugars and vanilla until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, and beat well after each addition. In another bowl, mix together the flour, baking powder and salt. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture. Gradually stir in the milk, mixing well after each addition. Fold in coarsely chopped chocolate.
Pour batter into pan and bake for approximately 30 to 35 minutes or until golden and baked through. Decorate the cake with kiss-shaped chocolate pieces.
Red Velvet Pound Cake
Ingredients:
3 C. plain flour (all-purpose)
¾ C. milk
3 C. sugar
1 bottle red food coloring
¾ C. shortening
7 eggs
½ C. butter
1 tsp. baking powder
1 Tbsp. vanilla extract
¼ tsp. salt
½ C. cocoa
Directions:
In a bowl, cream together sugar, shortening, vanilla, food coloring, and eggs. Add dry ingredients that have been mixed together, alternately with milk. Grease and flour a large tube pan. Pour in batter and bake at 275 degrees F. for 1 ½ hours.
Icing:
1 (8 oz.) pkg. cream cheese
¾ box 10X sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
½ stick butter, softened
Directions:
Cream ingredients together and spread on cooled cake.
Raisin Cookies
Ingredients:
1 cup butter, softened
2/3 cup sugar
2 eggs, beaten
1 ½ cups unbleached all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon salt
1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup raisins
Instructions:
Preheat oven to 375F. lightly grease two cookie sheets.
Mix the butter and sugar together well in a large bowl. When soft and fluffy add the beaten eggs, flour, salt and vanilla. Beat until well blended (you can use an electric mixer to make this easier).
Drop by teaspoonfuls onto the baking sheet and smooth them into rounds using the back of the spoon. Place some raisins on each round and bake for approximately 8 to 10 minutes until golden and baked through. Turn to wire racks to cool.
The Edge Cushion by Kid Cushions
The Edge Cushion by Kid Cushions provides a soft protecting layer of material between your child and hard or sharp edges of your furniture. Read more
Quick Chocolate Cherry Pie
Ingredients:
1 graham cracker pie crust
2/3 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 (14oz) can condensed milk
½ teaspoon salt
1 (21oz) can cherry pie filling
8 maraschino cherries, stemmed
Instructions:
Place the chocolate chips, condensed milk and salt in a saucepan and heat over medium heat. Bring to a boil and stir continuously until blended through. Mix in the cherry pie filling and mix well. Let cool slightly and then pour intro prepared pie crust. Chill for approximately 3 to 4 hours and garnish with the maraschino cherries.
Wordless Wednesday - Dog Kiss
Can you give this picture a cute caption?
Poached pears in red wine
Ingredients:
6 Pears, peeled
½ cup white granulated sugar
2 cups red wine
1 cinnamon stick (or a sprinkle of cinnamon)
The peel of one lemon
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Instructions:
Place the pears (peeled) in a medium saucepan and sprinkle the sugar over the pears. Pour the red win over to cover the pears. Add the cut fresh lemon peel and cinnamon stick and mix. Simmer on low heat until tender, approximately 15 minutes.
Remove from heat and add the lemon juice. Serve warm.
An Awakening Moment I Will Never Forget, Will You?
By Sarah Taylors
I was walking down on one of the busiest streets near my neighborhood. I needed to get fresh inspiration to finish a writing project I was working on. Like most people, I believe that a walk to the park will send inspirations knocking on my door. Above all, I needed a break from my work and catch up with my surroundings which I have lost touch for the past couple of weeks.
Without holding a pen and having a paper to jot down my thoughts, each encounter was vividly recorded in my memory, as if this day makes a great history in my life, when I look back perhaps 50 or 60 years from now.
What’s the significance? One may ask? Let’s reason out for a moment. Many of us, including myself, would classify ourselves as trend followers. Of course many would want to be trend setters but only a few will rise and become influential. For me, any happenings that change my mindset towards a trend I have faithfully abided will call for an awakening moment. Let me share the encounters of my day and perhaps you may catch the essence of it.
It was rather a sunny day where the sun rose steadily, with striking rays beaming across the many faces of people rushing here and there. What’s the rush? One may ask. It’s livelihood, a routine we had to follow in pursuit for the sole medium to live, money. As I was walking pass a bus station, I inevitably noticed faces of the working class.
Their expressions truly speak of the emotions that began their day. Majority were tired, bored and weary. I wondered what they were thinking about. Is life really tough and rough to get going? You should stop for a while and ponder too.
Then, I stopped by a coffee house to enjoy a cup of aromatic brew coffee and freshly baked croissant, a breakfast which I rarely get to enjoy. As I was sipping my Arabica coffee, my eyes were looking at this little girl. She looked frail and tired from her walk. She must have walked for quite some time. I looked at my watch, most children like her age will be at school right now. Coincidentally, I heard the sounding of a school bell from a school that is just miles away.
Unlike the other children, she started her day trading her school time with selling packets of tissue. She walked from table to table, asking if people would buy a packet of tissue from her. Although the return is not much, but it means livelihood to her impoverish family. As I was drawing out a dollar to pay for the tissue, I pondered for a while, life indeed is tough and rough to get going.
The croissant tastes great with butter and jam. It reminded me of my younger days where mom would prepare freshly baked pastries for breakfast. Thoughts about my mom overwhelmed me as I slowly walked towards a traffic light. I remember how hard she has worked for our family after dad died of terminal illness when we were very young. On schooling days, she will hold us and teach us to cross the roads. Odd jobs were the occupation she chose as it gave her flexibility to care for us.
I hardly recall any day when we were hungry. Although we never had much toys to play with, but we had a great childhood with fond and loving memories. On her 70th birthday, which was her last birthday, we gave her a grand party to thank her for the sacrifices made. I remembered kissing her cheeks and noticed the scar on her face. The incident happened many years ago when she was trying to save me from a fire which set out in our two room apartment. As tears flowed, I pondered for a while, life indeed is tough and rough to get going.
I crossed the traffic light and continued walking. I can’t help but to recall what I observed this morning. The scene of the working class going to work, a compassionate moment of seeing a needy girl trading her precious time to feed her family, and of course an emotional remembrance of my loving mom. Life indeed is tough and rough to get going. Living and money is a reality. Some have it more abundantly and many lack money to get the day pass without hunger or pain in their weakening bodies.
My awakening moment came when I realized that beyond the toil and tribulation of life, something greater thrives in the lives of these people. It is “Courage” to persevere in the tough and rough moments of our lives. I have learned a great life lesson today. It reminds me not to complain when I am caught in a traffic jam. It teaches me to give when I have more than enough to meet my basic needs. It teaches me that no problem is as devastating as taking one’s own life as long as we cling on. “Remember to cling on to hope, cling on to faith and never say die, my dear daughter”, these were the last words spoken to me moments before my mom left us.
When I reached home, I took a pen and started writing. What a fresh and great inspiration I had today! Indeed, it is an awakening day which I will never forget.
About the Author:
Sarah Taylors manages a women directory - a great resource for today’s women. Visit http://www.womensappeal.com for more interesting women related articles.
Source: www.isnare.com
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