Mommies Magazine

Dealing with Loss

Posted on 24. Oct, 2006 by Kelly C in Your Home

Dealing with Loss, far from home

The idea of losing a loved one is almost unimaginable; we hope to never have to experience such pain. When the time comes, however, it can be greatly more powerful when far from home. The military offers many opportunities for travel, for experience, for adventure, all of which can not be denied or taken fro granted. The downside though is the separation from family, especially in the event of loss. I had an experience like this several years ago.

I received a phone call early one morning, my mom was on the other line telling me my dad had passed away. While I not spoken to him in several years, the impact of that loss was more than I could bear. To compound my sorrow was the fact that at the time we lived in Texas, my dad had died in Pennsylvania. My husband was on deployment for six months and our three daughters were still in school. I had made plans to go home for a few weeks that summer and we were too leave in 3 weeks. I was not able to change my tickets and missed the funeral. When I did arrive home three weeks later I went to the cemetery and cried. He was gone, he had been alone in his final hours and I could not even make for his funeral.

I am not sure we are ever prepared for such experiences, life takes us in many directions – but not all are understandable. From this one I believe we learned the importance of family more, the importance of availability even when we do not think it is possible. There is always a way, if we look and we ask for the direction to go. While this is not solely related to the military, it is a lesson for us all.