Mommies Magazine

Encouragement for All Parents

Posted on 04. Dec, 2006 by Maria Spencer in Your Home

Recently, my family and I were in a very small group social situation with a family that had a typically developing child, and a family that had a son with a disability. Within minutes of our encounter with these families, I noticed the family with the typical child had not even acknowledged the other family—they were sitting by themselves, talking only to each other…I immediately realized that people are afraid of us—if our kids look or act different in any way, people don’t know how to react or what to say. So to the typical parents reading this, I hope my words can inspire and encourage you when you interact with special parents. And to the special parents, I hope that my words will appropriately put life to many of your thoughts and feelings. Don’t be afraid of us….our kids may or may not look differently from yours, they may act differently from yours, they may do or say things in a different way than your kids do, they may have sensitivities to everyday things that don’t bother your kids— but we parents still have hopes and dreams for our kids the way you do…please don’t shun away from us in public, just because you don’t know what to say or think. We are parents, just like you. Yes, we’re special. We’ve had to learn medical terms and facts that most parents don’t have to. We may have had more trips to the ER and may have had more hospital stays with our kids than you have. We may be familiar with may types of professionals that you may never have to encounter for your children. We don’t have as wide a range of choices in extra/after school activities that our kids can participate in—we just have had the privilege of learning all about the extra therapies after school that can benefit our kids. We take our children to multiple appointments and have different kinds of conferences with our kids’ teachers. Just because you haven’t had to go through some of the things with your children that we have, doesn’t mean we don’t want to talk to you about your hopes and dreams for your children…we just might have a little different perspective on “typical” hopes than you do, and our intent is to encourage you to see a little piece of the world the way our special child has taught us to see it. When you see us in public, do your best to make us feel included. We parents want to be accepted into our peer group, just like our kids. Just like you, we love to brag about our kids! We welcome any opportunity to tell you all of his or her accomplishments, no matter how big or small; even if they don’t compare to the things that your child has conquered. If you don’t know what to say, or concerned about the way your words will come out, I want you to try to put yourself in our shoes for that moment; focusing on positive, hope-filled words for our kids, and relax…we don’t bite! Most importantly, don’t fill your face or words with pity for us. Don’t feel sorry for us, we were chosen to parent our kids—we consider it a privilege. After spending some time with our child, you will see why we feel that way. We know that if you were faced with the challenges we have with your own son or daughter, you would find the strength to do what we do every day. So approach us and speak to us even when you’re not sure what to say or how we will react…don’t be quick to judge our child just because he’s different from yours. We just encourage you to open up your mind and heart to our family—we promise you’ll be pleasantly surprised.