Mommies Magazine

Do You Know Your Teen’s Friends?

Posted on 22. May, 2009 by Mom Mag in Relationships

We hope, as parents, that what we’ve taught our children will be the guiding force behind them as they become teenagers. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case, no matter how well we think we did. Before long, they begin to listen more to friends than to their parents. Do you know your teen’s friends, and why is it important that you do?

While it’s important to encourage your teens to have friendships with their own peers, it’s also wise to know who your teen’s friends are. How do you get to know them, however, when it seems like your teen is always on the go?

Even though it sounds old-fashioned, if your daughter is starting to date, you may request that every date she has makes a point to come into the house to meet you. She may balk at the thought of having to parade her dates in front of you, but what you’re actually doing is being a good parent and watching out for them.

Be sure you know where your teens are at all times and who they’re going to be with. It’s not that you’re trying to control your teen’s life; you do, however, want to be aware so you can reach them in case of an emergency. Monitoring their activities and their friendships can help you more easily recognize if they’re using drugs, alcohol, or participating in unwise activities.

It’s possible that you know some of your teen’s friends because they’ve been friends since they were children. However, as your teens enter high school they’ll meet new people and make new friendships. These friends can either be a positive or a negative influence on your teens.

Encourage your teen to invite friends over to watch movies one weekend. Let your teen pick out a couple of movies that they know their friends want to see.  Plan to order several pizzas or allow your teen to prepare the meal. Be sure to have plenty of popcorn on hand for when the movie is playing.

Do you have a console gaming system? Your teen may enjoy having friends over to play games over during the weekend. Grill some burgers or hot dogs and let them have fun. While your teen’s friends are there, it gives you ample opportunity to get to know them.

Be interested in the activities your teen is involved in. If they’re athletes, you could attend some of their practices, but definitely go to some of their games. You’ll be able to see who they hang around with on the field and off, as well as supporting them. Do they play an instrument in the band? Try to attend their performances even if it means giving up some of your own activities.

If you’re not comfortable with your teen’s friends, try not to impose restrictions on your teen seeing them. That could lead to them being rebellious and going behind your back to do so. Instead, try to talk to them like they’re adults by explaining your reasons why you have reservations about their friend. If you’re convinced of unacceptable activities, this would be even more of a reason to discourage those relationships.

Getting to know your teen’s friends is important for many reasons. Take the time to meet and spend time with your teen’s friends so you can recognize any warning signs that the friends are a bad influence. If they’re a good influence, instead, you’ll be able to enjoy time with your teen and their friends.