Learning to Talk: Is It Different with Twins?

Studies have shown that toddler and preschool-aged twins are generally about six months behind other children in developing language skills. There are many theories as to why this may occur. It could be due to a higher rate of premature birth among twins, which may delay many milestones, such as the development of speech. It might be because twins learn to communicate so well with each other using sounds and gestures that they don’t have as much need to learn to communicate with others. It might also be because twins’ parents have less time to spend with them individually in developing speaking skills. It’s also common for one twin to be more advanced in his speaking skills than the other. After all, they’re two different children, and every child develops at his or her own pace. The good news is that most twins catch up with other kids in language development by the time they’re ready for kindergarten. Parents can do a lot in the meantime to help twins develop better language skills.

• Talk to your twins as much as possible, even if you don’t think they understand what you’re saying. Make conversation as you go along your day and tell them what you’re doing: “I’m washing the dishes so they’ll be clean.” “I’m going to get your clothes out of the dryer.” “I want to call Grandma to tell her about your trip to the park.” You’ll notice, too, that your twins will probably understand you more quickly than they are able to express their own thoughts.

• Speak clearly and slowly to your twins so they can more easily mimic you, but use sophisticated speech, never baby talk. Don’t say, “Go potty?” Say, “Do you have to go to the bathroom?”

• Ask your twins a lot of questions, even if they don’t answer at first. Instead of driving quietly to the store, point out the sights along the way and ask your twins about them. “What color is that car?” “Do you see the spotted dog over there?” “Are you excited about going to the beach?” They will quickly understand that you’re asking them a question by the tone of your voice. (We usually raise our voice at the end of a question.)

• Read to your children a lot. Recite nursery rhymes. Sing silly songs together. Talk about the words in the world all around you, such as on road signs and storefronts. Expose your twins to speech and language in many forms.

• Don’t encourage your twins to mispronounce words just because they’re cute. I used to think it was adorable when one of my sons pointed out a “heli-clop-ter,” but it’s better to repeat the word after them with the correct pronunciation.

• Try to get your twins to use words for what they want. If they point to a ball and you run to get it, they find that they don’t need to use words to get what they desire. Ask them to tell you what they want, but don’t frustrate them by insisting on total accuracy. If they say, “Want baba,” you can say, “You want your baby?” and go over to get the doll. They’ll be delighted that you understood them and will continue to use speech to have their needs met.

• Ask open-ended questions where the answer requires more than a yes or no response. Don’t ask, “Do you want a treat?” Ask, “What kind of treat do you want?”

• Make sure you praise your twins when they make good use of their language skills, such as trying out a new word or answering a question. And exercise patience. It can be frustrating when they try to tell you something and you don’t understand, but with a little trial and error, their communication will improve.

©2007 Susan M. Heim. Excerpted from It’s Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence.