Mother Knows Best

‘She’s going to have real problems coping with school’, the speech pathologist told my husband and I about our four year old daughter. How did she know this just by spending 30 minutes with her we wondered?

While in pre-school, my daughter saw a speech pathologist, and although it was for only a short time, my daughter began making progress. Once my daughter started kindergarten, the speech pathologist never saw her again. Apparently, the speech pathologist prefers to see only pre-school age children as she gets funding for this age group.

Once my daughter started school, it didn’t take long for me to hear my daughter making comments like ‘I’m not invited because I’m still a baby’, or ‘everyone laughs at me’. Such comments hurt me just as much as they did her. It only takes one comment to dampen a child’s self-esteem. Naturally, I mentioned my concerns to the teacher, and I wondered if these comments were actually being made, or if this was what my daughter thought other children thought of her.

Around the same time, I was at the school one day at the start of recess and I saw my daughter sitting alone. It nearly broke my heart, especially when she smiled and waved at me. Was my daughter really so bad? Although, it is an image that will stay with me for some time, I am glad I witnessed it, for I managed to discuss the situation with the teacher. She told me my daughter does sit with other children occasionally, including her brother, but my daughter does tend to sit alone. The teacher had spoken to my daughter and tried to get her to sit with others, but when pushed too hard, my daughter digs her heals in.

My daughter does tend to be a bit of a loner, but she still has to learn to socialise and make her own friends. Naturally, as a parent, this is what you want for a child, so this is where I had to step in. I knew who her friends were and I began making arrangements for her to play with these friends outside of school.

In next to no time, my daughter was happier and there were no problems with her at school. Apparently, my daughter was not being bullied or laughed at, but they were laughing with her because she has a good sense of humour. My worries, it seemed were ill-founded, but I’m glad I took some initiative to help her social skills.

At the end of the first term, the teacher gave us a glowing report on our daughter. She was doing well academically, but she felt there was still room for improvement with her speech. The teacher informed us that the speech pathologist would be able to see our daughter during the following term. We waited to hear from her, only knowing full well we wouldn’t and we were right. By this stage I was ready to arrange for my daughter to see another speech pathologist, whereas my husband thought it was unnecessary.

During a recent visit to my parents, I saw my eldest sister who is a kindergarten teacher. She is in the Reading Recovery program, a program where teachers specialise in helping young children who have difficulties reading. She read with my daughter and told me that there is not a problem and can not understand what all the fuss is about. Armed with teaching advice on how to help a child learn to read, along with copies of some early readers, I got down to work.

A short time later, the school headmaster told us that someone had recommended to him that our daughter required further help. This help had to go through the school councilor for permission. My husband informed him what my sister had said and the headmaster agreed. He understood our feelings with the local speech pathologist as he has trouble dealing with her as well. He agreed on our sentiments about ‘so called experts’, and we are hoping that that is the end of the matter.

Since then, our daughter has been given many and varied merit awards, which isn’t bad for a child who would apparently have difficulties coping at school.

As a general rule, don’t always believe what the experts tell you. Trust your instincts. Sometimes mother does know best!

© Debbie Johansson 2007

About the Author

Debbie Johansson is the author of young adult mystery novels and historical fiction. She has written two young adult novels, which are both in the editing stages. Debbie has also written short stories, articles and has been known to dabble in poetry whenever the mood strikes her. She lives in country NSW, Australia with her husband, two young children, a psychotic pomeranian and six paranahs heavily disguised as goldfish.

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