Super Mom

This is for all of the special moms that think you can do it all….take it from me—you can’t. Periodically I get into the mode that I can do everything for everybody—and still take care of myself in the meantime….and every time I try this “super mom” mode; I get burnt out. Last month, I had one of those months…I thought I could go into my mode and still have the energy for myself. I tried keeping up with my writing commitments, focusing on my job responsibilities, take care of my daughter’s current challenges, make sure my son’s needs were being met at school, and somehow be a wife and homemaker to top it all off. Well, needless to say, I bottomed out. I’m sure I am not the only special mom that has tried to do everything in her own strength. On top of our careers, maintaining our households–cooking, cleaning, etc… we have special circumstances at our home that usually take precedence over every other need. We must go to doctor and therapy appointments, check out special programs for our kids for the summer so they do not regress in any way, try to do as many things for our typical kids so they don’t feel slighted, some of us have job responsibilities outside our home that need to be taken care of, and many of us have commitments in our church or community that need our care and attention…how can we possibly juggle all of these things?First of all, we must take time to ourselves. I know some of you are rolling your eyes right now thinking, “yeah right—sure-I have time to do something nice just for me!” I’m not suggesting the only definition of taking time out for yourself is spending eight hours and a lot of money at an all –day spa! All of us have 10-20 minutes a day that can be spent on something that makes us re-charge so we can better take care of our families. At first, this was a challenge for me, because I had been focusing on pleasing everyone else in my life, I actually forgot the things that I like, that are just for me. Whether it’s reading a few pages of a book, reading a devotional, taking a short walk, or just sitting for a little while with some of your favorite music, and your favorite cup of tea…trust me, once you find what it is and weave it into your days, your entire family will thank you for it.Secondly, I feel we must all be willing to take help from others. Family members, friends, services that may be in our lives because of our special kids—we must learn when to say yes to offers of help on a regular basis, so we don’t get to the burn-out stage. It is not a sign of weakness or inability when you receive help with support systems in your life…you actually can become a better mom because of them! Don’t be afraid to ask for help either! I have found that the people that are the most supportive actually appreciate it when we ask them for help. Last but not least….figure out your source of strength. If you rely solely on gaining strength daily from within, you will wind up feeling weak and defeated. If it is a challenge for you to actually sit with yourself and ask what or who is your biggest source of strength—first ask-who or what is always on my side, encouraging me and giving me the courage to face another day of decision-making with my special needs child. For me, this inner strength comes from God. He helps guide all of my steps for my entire family—and holds my hand through all of the triumphs and the setbacks. I say it often, but I firmly believe we were chosen my God to parent our special children, and He doesn’t want us to do it alone. So please take me up on the challenge and sit alone with yourself and truly figure out when you can take time just for you, whom can you rely on for support, and where you can best find your inner source of strength. Don’t try to do it all in your own strength, Moms! Your special children need you, and I know you will be pleasantly surprised how a few little changes in your life can make such a big difference to you and your entire family.