My Non-Bonded Twins

As the author of two books about raising twins, I hear numerous stories about the special connection between twins. Although researchers have yet to uncover any scientific evidence of a psychic connection between twins, their families often have plenty of anecdotal evidence to offer. In the book, Twin Connections: Stories That Celebrate the Mysterious Bond Between Twins, there are numerous examples of twins who seem to share an unexplainable link. One woman goes into labor, and her twin sister feels the labor pains even though she doesn’t know her sister is ready to deliver! A boy hits his head, and his twin sister gets the headache! And there are plenty of stories where a baby has sensed that her twin is in respiratory distress and has alerted the parents, thereby saving the child’s life.
As I wrote in the Foreword to Twin Connections, my twins share a special relationship. At four years old, they understand each other’s speech better than anyone else. They miss each other if one is home from preschool with an illness. But sometimes I wonder if these aren’t the same feelings that any close brothers might have for each other. I can’t say that I’ve really seen anything that borders on the psychic between them. Perhaps it’s because they’re fraternal and don’t share the same DNA. However, there are plenty of cases where boy/girl or other fraternal twins have displayed uncanny abilities. For instance, there’s a story in Twin Connections where a girl feels a very sharp unexplained pain in her finger. She later finds out it was the exact moment that her fraternal twin sister slammed her finger in the door!
Most of the time, twins love that they have someone who knows them like no other. As one woman wrote in Twin Connections, “Being a twin is a gift you are blessed with. It is the certainty of knowing there is one person in the world who truly understands you, fulfills you, gives you support and loves you.” I want my boys to have that kind of relationship. But at the same time, sometimes it appears to be unhealthy for some twins, who rely on each other exclusively and shut out the rest of the world. There’s a fine line between a bonded relationship and overdependence. So, maybe my twins have the best of both worlds—the closeness of having someone who’s always there for them, but the distance that allows them to be their own unique selves. They are twins, and yet they are two very different little boys. Bonded or not, they are both incredible just the way they are.

“Twice the Love” Wins Best Parenting/Family Book in Reader Views 2007 Annual Literary Awards

(Austin, Texas) Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons (ISBN 1-891846-31-0, Twins Magazine, Inc., 2007) was selected as the best parenting/family book of 2007 by Reader Views Annual Literary Awards. Reader Views Annual Literary Awards were established to honor writers who self-published or had their books published by a small press, university press, or independent book publisher.

“Reader Views reviews more than 2,000 books per year from budding authors who have worked hard to achieve their dream of being published,” Reader Views Managing Editor Irene Watson says. “Our Annual Literary Awards recognize the very best of these up-and-coming authors, all talented writers who we know have very promising writing careers ahead of them.”

The Reader Views Annual Literary Awards are granted in 20 fiction and 30 nonfiction categories, as well as 15 specialized, sponsored categories. The entries are judged by Reader Views reviewers, all avid readers with a wide range of experiences, considered experts in the respective fields.

Reader Views is currently accepting submissions for the 2008 Literary Awards. Entry information, registration forms and further information can be found online at http://www.readerviews.com/Awards.html. Reader Views is an Austin, Texas, based company. They started December 2005 as a volunteer-based book review service. Shortly after the company’s birth they expanded into offering publicity services to authors. Now they are a one-stop center for budding authors. For more information, visit www.readerviews.com.

About Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons

Published in conjunction with TWINS magazine, Twice the Love is a compilation of inspirational stories written by parents and other family members about the joys and challenges of raising multiples. Susan M. Heim, former Chicken Soup for the Soul editor and founder of the TwinsTalk web site (www.twinstalk.com), collected these true tales about the joys and challenges of loving twins. Stories reflect a variety of topics, such as the special bond between multiples, typical crazy days in the life of a family with twins, challenges encountered in pregnancy or childhood, humorous situations created by multiples, adopting twins, and much more.

Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons (ISBN 1-891846-31-0, Twins Magazine, Inc., 2007) may be purchased at www.twinsmagazine.com/twice_the_love.html or www.twinstalk.com/twinsshop.

Recommended Reading: Identical Strangers

Suppose you were adopted and decided to try to find out a little information about your birth family. In the course of your investigation, you discover that you have an identical twin that you never knew existed! And, on top of that shocking news, you learn that you were separated as infants as part of a secret study on twins. This story may seem unbelievable, but it actually happened to Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein.

In their book, Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited, we learn how these two women made this momentous discovery, their journey to learn more about their history and the study, as well as their efforts to absorb this shocking news and establish a relationship with each other. In reading their accounts, we learn more about what it means to be a twin, especially when two people share identical DNA but different life experiences. Elyse and Paula uncover startling coincidences between them, but also stark differences. This leads to the age-old question: Nature or nurture…which is more influential?

The authors are brutally honest in the book about their changing feelings toward each other. Elyse notes of her sister, “Sometimes I am elated about her appearance in my life. Other times I feel alienated by this experience, angry at the doctors for separating us, incredibly sad that Paula and I didn’t have time together growing up, just for us.” At one point, Paula notes, “Being with my twin seems to bring out the worst in me.” But by the book’s end, they find they share a bond that cannot be broken. Says Paula, “But as different as we are, we come from the same stock. In each other, we recognize a kindred spirit. Getting to know our twin and seeing the life we might have led has made us more certain of who we are. Although we don’t always fit together neatly, we are missing pieces to the same puzzle.”

Whether you’re a twin, the parent of twins or simply fascinated by twins, you’ll find Identical Strangers to be compelling reading. Learn more about this incredible book at www.identicalstrangersbook.com.

Exciting News for Families with Twins and Multiples

Did you know that today is Twins Day? Okay, it’s not really, officially a day for twins (and I’m not talking about the Minnesota Twins here, either). But I have a lot of news about all the exciting things that are going on for families with twins, triplets and more. If you are the parent of multiples, a twin yourself, close to twins or just fascinated with twins and multiples, please read on.

First, I have a wonderful new website for parents of twins and multiples. It’s called TwinsTalk, and it’s filled with great tips, tales, and articles about raising twins. You can submit your twins’ pictures for a chance to become the Multiples of the Month and receive a free book, and participate in the forums to benefit from advice offered by other twins’ parents. If you’re parenting twins or triplets, please join our community at www.twinstalk.com.

Second, I am collecting stories for my next book and the new TwinsTalk website. If you have an inspirational, humorous or touching story about the twins in your life, please submit your stories to susan@twinstalk.com. Articles and tips about raising twins are also welcome for TwinsTalk.

Finally, I recently wrote the Foreword for a wonderful book called Twin Connections: Stories That Celebrate the Mysterious Bond Between Twins. Author Debbie LaChusa, a fraternal twin, always wanted to know if other twins experienced the same things that she and her sister did. This curiosity led her to begin collecting stories from twins around the world that demonstrate the unique bond between twins. Please check it out at www.twinconnections.com/book.htm.

Twin Connections: A New Book Celebrating the Special Bond Between Twins

Not long ago, I told readers of this column about an upcoming book called Twin Connections: Stories That Celebrate the Mysterious Bond Between Twins, by Debbie LaChusa. At that time, I asked readers to submit stories for inclusion, and I’m pleased to announce that it has now been published!

Whether it’s the way they finish each other’s sentences, know when their twin is in trouble, feel each other’s pain, or seem to have uncanny parallels in their lives, there is definitely a connection between twins unlike any other sibling relationship. Author Debbie LaChusa, a fraternal twin, always wanted to know if other twins experienced the same things that she and her sister did. This curiosity led her to begin collecting stories from twins around the world that demonstrate this unique bond between twins. Whether you are a twin, a parent of twins, a parent expecting twins, or simply a friend or relative of twins, you will enjoy this amazing collection of twin stories. And, it may just help you better understand the twins in your life. Chapters include:

Shared Sickness, Pain . . . and Pregnancy!

Still Connected Beyond Death

Separation Anxiety

Teenage Twins

Two Heads Are Better Than One

Twins Run in the Family

Twin Predictions

Being a Twin Is a Blessing

Whether you’re a twin yourself, or a friend or relative of twins, I’m certain you’ll enjoy these true and incredible tales of “twin connections”! Twin Connections is available in paperback or as an eBook at http://www.twinconnections.com/book.htm.