Mommies Magazine

The Stages of Parenting

Posted on 05. Oct, 2006 by Lisa Barker in Jelly Mom

When it comes to parenting, it often seems that history repeats itself. Things you did when your child was a baby seem strangely familiar when the same child is a teen.

You know you’re the parent of a baby when…

· You get so little sleep your driver’s license photo looks better than you.
· You’ve got stains on the shoulders of every shirt.
· Whenever you reach into your pocket or reach for your purse, people run fearing you’ll have more pictures to show them.
· You know what time the street sweeper visits your neighborhood at night.
· The only ‘television shows’ you get to watch are the infomercials in the wee hours of the morning.
· You spend a quarter of your time feeding the baby, a quarter of your time burping the baby and half your time cleaning up what comes out of the baby.

You know you’re the parent of a toddler when…

· You live for naptime.
· You’ve got stains on the hems of your all your shirts because you’ve become the human Kleenex.
· Whenever you reach into your pocket or for your purse, there’s an expectant chubby little face at your side hoping for a cookie.
· You can tell time in five and ten minute increments because your little one spends enough time in “time-out.”
· The only television shows you get to watch are Blue’s Clues, Dora and Stanley.
· You spend a half your time dressing your toddler and the other half wading through toys and picking up discarded clothes so you can dress him again.

You know you’re the parent of a child when…

· You send him out the door with lunch and greet him at the door with a snack.
· He’s got stains on every shirt he owns.
· Whenever you reach into your pocket or for your purse, there’s a hand out waiting for some money.
· You know what time the ice cream truck comes around.
· You hold television as a bribe to get chores and homework done first.
· You spend half your time nagging your child to get ready in the morning and getting homework done in the afternoon and the other half worrying that you’re not a good mother.

You know you’re the mother of a teen when…

· You get so little sleep your driver’s license photo looks…well, you know.
· His shirts are stained because it’s in style and yours are NOT.
· Whenever you reach into your pocket there’s a hand out waiting for money and the car keys.
· You’re getting reacquainted with the nightly visits of the street sweeper.
· You both like the same shows, but one of you won’t admit it.
· You spend half your time buying groceries, a quarter of your time nagging, a quarter of your time biting your tongue and ALL of your time worrying.

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©Lisa Barker – Jelly Mom™ is written by Lisa Barker, mother of five and author of “Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane…Doesn’t Mean You Are A Bad Parent!” and is syndicated through Martin-Ola Press/Parent To Parent. To publish Jelly Mom, buy the book or leave comments, please visit http://www.jellymom.com. Sign up for the free Jelly Mom™ weekly newsletter and receive a BONUS GIFT!