Twins: Will They Ever Play Together Nicely?

A mom of twins told me recently that her two-year-old daughters seemed to fight all the time. Sometimes, they even hurt each other by hitting and scratching. As sibling rivalry had never been an issue with her one older child, she wanted to know if this behavior with her twins was “normal.” I assured her that their battles are completely age-appropriate. When my twins were that age, they fought all the time, even biting and pinching each other. Ten minutes later, they’d be giving each other kisses. Twins may have a special bond, but when it comes to getting along, they’re just like any other siblings.

Often, the fighting doesn’t even make any sense! I can buy two identical toys for my boys, and they’ll still fight over a certain one. No matter how much I tell them, “Look, there are two, so you can both have one,” they still reject one and covet the other. Somehow, one toy just seems more appealing when the other child has it! In a situation like this, it’s a good time to introduce the lesson of taking turns. “Okay,” I’ll say, “Austen can have the toy for ten minutes, and when this timer goes off, it’s Caleb’s turn.” Of course, this didn’t work perfectly at first, but as the boys have matured, they’ve learned to accept this system. Now that they know they will get the promised toy eventually, they’re more willing to wait.

My twins are three-and-a-half now, and the fighting has decreased. There are longer and longer periods of time when they’ll play together nicely, making up “pretend games” with each other. This morning, they were adorable as they taught their stuffed lion how to be a “big boy” by showing him how to use the potty and wash his hands! I know from my experience with my older boys that there will always be fights and arguments over the years, but my twins will also learn to appreciate the fun things they can do together. Emphasize to your twins how fortunate they are to always have someone to play with. It’s just one of the many perks of being a twin!